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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Default Praise Jesus - 10-07-2006, 10:15 PM

Praise the Lord that I have found the True Church of God. For all of my life I have been around nothing but false Christian. I was raise a Methodist, but I alwas know it was wrong. Then one day I picked up and read the KJV 1611 Bible and I knew it was the True Word of God. I just today I found this site and felt like I was home.
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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-07-2006, 10:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Warrior_Of_God View Post
Praise the Lord that I have found the True Church of God. For all of my life I have been around nothing but false Christian. I was raise a Methodist, but I alwas know it was wrong. Then one day I picked up and read the KJV 1611 Bible and I knew it was the True Word of God. I just today I found this site and felt like I was home.
Welcome Warrior of God.

Have you found the Godly© Paypal Button yet to show your True Love of Jesus™??



Sister Talitha

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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-07-2006, 10:32 PM

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Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
Welcome Warrior of God.

Have you found the Godly© Paypal Button yet to show your True Love of Jesus™??
Welcome Warrior, I am too a new found friend and follower of God's one and only favorite forum. I knew that I was missing something in my life. I have found it here, among these great people providing the ones without the word of our Saviour in their hearts, the chance to learn and partake in great fellowship of our Lord.

I have found the wonderful blue button of Paypal and have started a small but meaningful donation to our one and only God's favorite forum. Warrior, you shall too feel the love and the word of our Lord once that little blue button is hit. There is no experience better than giving to JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!
YIC
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And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the Lord of hosts. Malachi 4.3

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Pslams 51:7
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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-08-2006, 05:12 PM

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Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
Welcome Warrior of God.

Have you found the Godly© Paypal Button yet to show your True Love of Jesus™??
Yes Sister I have found it. But sad to say I do not have any money right now to give to are Lord Jesus, for I am in Bible College and it right now is taking all of the money I have. But I am keeping tabs on how much I would give each time I gave and when I'm doen with College I am going to give one BIG Loving offering to Jesus, if that would be alright.
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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-08-2006, 10:23 PM

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Originally Posted by Warrior_Of_God View Post
Yes Sister I have found it. But sad to say I do not have any money right now to give to are Lord Jesus, for I am in Bible College and it right now is taking all of the money I have. But I am keeping tabs on how much I would give each time I gave and when I'm doen with College I am going to give one BIG Loving offering to Jesus, if that would be alright.
I suggest you "borrow" a Credit Card, because without making a Loving Donation, how can Jesus™ know your True devotion?



Sister Talitha

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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-08-2006, 10:25 PM

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Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
I suggest you "borrow" a Credit Card, because without making a Loving Donation, how can Jesus™ know your True devotion?
Its quite simple actually; pray to him everyday and listen to his word. There is no need for useless donations to people who want nothing else but money.
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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-08-2006, 10:33 PM

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Originally Posted by TheConfusedOne View Post
Its quite simple actually; pray to him everyday and listen to his word. There is no need for useless donations to people who want nothing else but money.
Since when has GIVING been wrong?
It's a process of self-fulfillment whereby the GIVER feels so much better having GIVEN a Loving donation to Jesus™.

You should try it sometime. Read The Bible©(KJV1611) and Pray for forgivness.



Sister Talitha

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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-08-2006, 10:33 PM

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Originally Posted by TheConfusedOne View Post
Its quite simple actually; pray to him everyday and listen to his word. There is no need for useless donations to people who want nothing else but money.
In order to listen to His Word you have to support His Church. Do you see the connection there?


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-08-2006, 10:37 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
In order to listen to His Word you have to support His Church. Do you see the connection there?
So if the Chrcuh needsa support, why doesnt the Pastors and nuns that work there place their own PayChecks to help support? Im sure that there will be more than enough money there to support it.
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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-08-2006, 10:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
Since when has GIVING been wrong?
It's a process of self-fulfillment whereby the GIVER feels so much better having GIVEN a Loving donation to Jesus™.

You should try it sometime. Read The Bible©(KJV1611) and Pray for forgivness.
I have never gaid GIVING was wrong. I simply say that donating to what is already rich will not help it in any way.

Yes, I have done it. And not just sometimes, ALL OF THE TIME! And no, I will not read the Bible and pray for forgiveness because there really is no need to. Stating my thought is nothing to pray for firgiveness for.
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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-08-2006, 10:42 PM

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Originally Posted by TheConfusedOne View Post
So if the Chrcuh needsa support, why doesnt the Pastors and nuns that work there place their own PayChecks to help support? Im sure that there will be more than enough money there to support it.
NUNS?!?!? We aren't FILTHY CATLICKS! Where do you think the tiny paycheck we pastors get comes from? From donations. No donations, no check. And believe me, we only get enough to cover our most basic necessities. It's not like we are rich! The CHURCH owns my house, my cars, and the airplane that is assigned to me. If Landover Baptist didn't pay all my bills and give me an open expense account I would likely starve!


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"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-08-2006, 10:46 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
NUNS?!?!? We aren't FILTHY CATLICKS! Where do you think the tiny paycheck we pastors get comes from? From donations. No donations, no check. And believe me, we only get enough to cover our most basic necessities. It's not like we are rich! The CHURCH owns my house, my cars, and the airplane that is assigned to me. If Landover Baptist didn't pay all my bills and give me an open expense account I would likely starve!
Really now? Is the airplane really necessary though? Cant you just take an airplane with the rest of the population? Maybe when you do you can talk to them and see if you can try to save their souls, or something of that sort. Also, you really only need one car.
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La Vie Boheme La Vie Boheme is offline
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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-08-2006, 10:58 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
NUNS?!?!? We aren't FILTHY CATLICKS! Where do you think the tiny paycheck we pastors get comes from? From donations. No donations, no check. And believe me, we only get enough to cover our most basic necessities. It's not like we are rich! The CHURCH owns my house, my cars, and the airplane that is assigned to me. If Landover Baptist didn't pay all my bills and give me an open expense account I would likely starve!
Airplane? Wow, that's cool. I wish I had an airplane.
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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-08-2006, 11:35 PM

Apparently the unsaved trash who have recently crawled into God's favorite forum don't realize what it is we Pastors do, and just how expensive it is to do it.

We are commanded by Jesus to spread the Good Word of the hellfire that awaits most of the people on earth. We have to travel to all four corners of the planet, to every cesspool and third-world country we can find....unspeakably dangerous and sin-filled places like Tahiti and the many islands of the South Pacific, the Caribbean, and even Godless Finland!

We have no possessions of our own, save the trusty KJV1611 Bible we carry, and the strong voice we use to preach to heathen scum the world over. The hardships we endure would bring tears to your eyes if you only knew...

But aside from all of our trials and tribulations in carrying out the Lord's work, there is always the Holy Bible to consider. What does God say about Tithing?

Lev 27:32 And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, [even] of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.

Num 18:26 Thus speak unto the Levites, and say unto them, When ye take of the children of Israel the tithes which I have given you from them for your inheritance, then ye shall offer up an heave offering of it for the LORD, [even] a tenth [part] of the tithe.

Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.


Only a complete mormon would try and rob Jesus. Better hit that Paypal button now, if you want to avoid eternal hellfire. And don't forget to fetch your parent's credit cards kids! Jesus wants you to have that shiny new Play station 3!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-09-2006, 06:17 AM

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Really now? Is the airplane really necessary though? Cant you just take an airplane with the rest of the population? Maybe when you do you can talk to them and see if you can try to save their souls, or something of that sort. Also, you really only need one car.
I have no idea what you are thinking. It is IMPERATIVE that Senior Pastors have immediate access to high performance corporate jet aircraft for several reasons.

First, we are required to travel to places like darkest Africa to preside over the birth of Angelina Jolie's children so they won't be doomed to HELL for harlotry like she is. Secondly, we need to make SURE that all the darkie babies she adopt are required to stay in the contry in which they were born. We DO NOT want any of them coming over here to become rappers and pie thieves.

My church is located on a desert island, but my home is in Freehold. So I need to be able to fly home every week to make sue my chink housekeeper, Ching Lee is running the household properly and beat her if she isn't. A Grumman Gulfstream IV costs about $6,000 an hour to fly and maintain, and I use it on average twenty hours a week or sometimes a little more depending on the weather in the Caribbean. So the donations, tithes and love offerings need to keep coming in.

I only have two cars in Freehold, both provided by Landover Baptist. The Limo, which picks me up at our private airfield, and the Mercedes which Ching Lee drives around. Of course I have an SUV and another Mercedes at my church, but those are a necessity as well.

I just cannot imagine that anyone would try to deny TRUE CHRISTIANS™ the access to a pastor whenever and whereever they might need one!

You should be ashamed of yourself.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-09-2006, 06:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post

I just cannot imagine that anyone would try to deny TRUE CHRISTIANS™ the access to a pastor whenever and whereever they might need one!

You should be ashamed of yourself.
TheCORNfusedone.......How can you question the ones that bring us the word and world of our Saviour Jesus Christ!?!? You come spouting off at the mouth, you should have been smacked down long ago. Yes I am new to this place, but I know where I rank and I would never question our authority. The eyes look down upon you son and their heads shake at your wicked ways.

Matthew 21:23
And when he was come into the temple, the chief priests and the elders of the people came unto him as he was teaching, and said, By what authority doest thou these things? and who gave thee this authority?

Matthew 21:24
And Jesus answered and said unto them, I also will ask you one thing, which if ye tell me, I in like wise will tell you by what authority I do these things.

Matthew 21:27
And they answered Jesus, and said, We cannot tell. And he said unto them, Neither tell I you by what authority I do these things.

As the Pastor said....you should be "ass"hamed of yourself, the donkey does follow you my friend.


And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the Lord of hosts. Malachi 4.3

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Pslams 51:7
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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-09-2006, 07:15 PM

borrow? you mean steal i expect um.. 1. that is illeagal 2. that is one of the 10 commandments 3. it is just plain WRONG!
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I suggest you "borrow" a Credit Card, because without making a Loving Donation, how can Jesus™ know your True devotion?
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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-09-2006, 07:37 PM

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borrow? you mean steal i expect um.. 1. that is illeagal 2. that is one of the 10 commandments 3. it is just plain WRONG!

How so? We are not asking to take anything Jesus doesn't want you to have.



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Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-10-2006, 02:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Warrior_Of_God View Post
For all of my life I have been around nothing but false Christian.
But later on, you say that you are in Bible college. Please elaborate.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
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Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
Always Biblically correct
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Publisher's Choice True Heterosexual™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Tithing Manager Christian Love Ex-Mary Worshipper Long service medal, 2nd class Senior Pastor Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Anti-sodomy Hands Off Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Praise Jesus - 10-10-2006, 02:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Warrior_Of_God View Post
Yes Sister I have found it. But sad to say I do not have any money right now to give to are Lord Jesus, for I am in Bible College and it right now is taking all of the money I have. But I am keeping tabs on how much I would give each time I gave and when I'm doen with College I am going to give one BIG Loving offering to Jesus, if that would be alright.
In your Bible college, have they covered the Scripture teaching regarding the widow and her two mites?


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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