[Zaiger]

Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter

Both of you will watch your tone and behave if you wish to continue to enjoy posting privileges.

I am sorry, you are right. The real enemy is satan and his influence on our children.

[Zaiger]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

So being in CA on work causes you to talk differently? That sounds like the work of demons!

I travel all of the magnificent US of A and I always sound like me, a simple country boy.

Do you lisp when in San Francisco?

Talk differently? I think you are playing games with me.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Originally Posted by Zaiger

Talk differently? I think you are playing games with me.

Try to show respect

for Jesus' elect.

[James Hutchins]

Originally Posted by Zaiger

Talk differently? I think you are playing games with me.

Son, I do not play games, that is what little children do. I praise Jesus and follow the Word of God® exactly as prescribed in the KJV Bible. If my keen ability to see and hear (one of Gods many marvelous gifts bestowed upon me) upsets you, perhaps you need to speak to my (and your) Creator.

A man does not travel to a area and immediately pick up the nuances of a local, that can take years to occur. In some cases, it never happens. But the difference between a mid state Tennessee fellow and a sin city hot bed person from Ventura is night and day. Had you said you live in Tn and were working in Ky, I could easily write-off my perceptions as a mistake as only God is perfect. But TN and CA, especially the LA area, seriously?

[Zaiger]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

Son, I do not play games, that is what little children do. I praise Jesus and follow the Word of God® exactly as prescribed in the KJV Bible. If my keen ability to see and hear (one of Gods many marvelous gifts bestowed upon me) upsets you, perhaps you need to speak to my (and your) Creator.

A man does not travel to a area and immediately pick up the nuances of a local, that can take years to occur. In some cases, it never happens. But the difference between a mid state Tennessee fellow and a sin city hot bed person from Ventura is night and day. Had you said you live in Tn and were working in Ky, I could easily write-off my perceptions as a mistake as only God is perfect. But TN and CA, especially the LA area, seriously?

The christian children in Ventura can't even leave the house without having sin thrown upon them by the local wild life, so most never leave the house. Every once in a while I have to go out to a sin-hole like Ventura County to help parents sin-proof the house. I don't question where the Lord sends me to help i just do what i am supposed to.We must secure the existence of our people and a future for Christian Children.

[Dan U. Holier]

Originally Posted by Zaiger

But don't get me started on martin luther, those conversations never go well and I hate being called a racist whenever i open my mouth about him.

I tend to believe your heart is in the right place, but our honorable community doesn’t promote prejudices against nigras and brown people at all – as long as they know their place; you know what I mean?

[Faith_Machine]

Originally Posted by Zaiger

I have to sin-proof the bedrooms of a few dozen houses out here.

Are you installing one-way mirrors or peep-holes so you can monitor their activities? Or some type of hidden surveillance cameras? I'm fixing up a part of my house so I can rent it as an "in-law" apartment, and I'm looking into sin-proofing that bedroom and its connected bathroom so I can make sure my tenant doesn't do anything in there that offends God.

[James Hutchins]

Originally Posted by Zaiger

The christian children in Ventura can't even leave the house without having sin thrown upon them by the local wild life, so most never leave the house. Every once in a while I have to go out to a sin-hole like Ventura County to help parents sin-proof the house. I don't question where the Lord sends me to help i just do what i am supposed to.We must secure the existence of our people and a future for Christian Children.

I fail to see how that affects your manner of communication. Look, I could care less where you live or the details of your life. It is not me you need to answer to, it is God. You cannot pull the wool over His eyes because it is His wool. My concern here is the lack of honesty and transparency. After my many years serving Jesus at Landover, I have been exposed to all types and that is how I became to adapt at seeing the Truth®.
It is your life, it can either be one of lies and decit or one of glrouis unquestioning faith. Your call. By the way, it is fine with God too, just do not attempt to play Him like a fool.

[Zaiger]

Originally Posted by Faith_Machine

Are you installing one-way mirrors or peep-holes so you can monitor their activities? Or some type of hidden surveillance cameras? I'm fixing up a part of my house so I can rent it as an "in-law" apartment, and I'm looking into sin-proofing that bedroom and its connected bathroom so I can make sure my tenant doesn't do anything in there that offends God.

Common mistake when sin-proofing houses. One way mirrors work great for police stations not so much houses. Think about the real purpose of peep holes,hidden cameras and two way mirrors. They are to catch people doing bad things, I specialize in sin-proofing not sin-catching. See? When you make things hidden people think they are not being watched, and when they think they are not being watched they forget that Jesus is watching and then they sin. You want to cast no illusion and make yout children think that you and Jesus are not watching them at all times.
So depending on how much you love your children and how bad you want them to go to Heaven you have differnet options. Some parents are okay with door removal and sin-cuffs (bracelets with lots of bells), I tell those parents the it will help but their child will probably burn.
For those parents who REALLY love their children can go all out. We can do several things.

1. Replace bedroom walls with transparent ones
2. Install a web browser that does not show any pictures besides the ones approved by my web team.
3. Air raid sirens to be used at anytime when your child has left your line of sight for more that 10 seconds
4. Procaine lotion, will numb any area it is rubbed on so your lotion is never abused. Lotion was only made so people could easily turn the pages of the bible once their fingers got dry.
5. Procaine Bar soap
6. A toilet that only keeps its lid open only if both hands are on the handles.

There are more but those are the basics that really help keep satan out of your house, and of course there are few different ones for boys and girls. If you have two children one boy and one girl was can remodel the entire house so you can raise both of them and ensure they never even see each other.

[Faith_Machine]

Zaiger, these are truly innovative ideas! I hope you've patented all of them!

[Zaiger]

Originally Posted by Faith_Machine

Zaiger, these are truly innovative ideas! I hope you've patented all of them!

I have, well those that I could, Im working on some new ones i have to work some kinks out of. The Bible says

Mathew 5:27-28
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

So even thinking about these acts are against god. A good christian man cannot do much about satans influence on our children's dreams, but now we might be able to.
I have three things in the works one of them is an add-on to the two hand toilet. It will detect small amounts of seed in urine if any has been secreted and will sound the alarm if it detects anything.
The other is an alarm that goes off every hour to prevent bad dreams. Dreams introduce children to things like s*x and harry potter with unicorns and fatasy things of that nature. The alarm gives a random bible verse durring what should be sleeping time about 7:30 to sunrise at a high volume.
The third is going to take a while it is a small device that detect any increase in blood flow to the penis. If it gets set off a picture of jesus will drop down from the ceiling of whatever room the child is in and the child will be sprayed with a stream of cold water until the blood flow goes back to normal levels.

[Faith_Machine]

How about a device that simply delivers an electric shock if it senses an impending erection? That way, it would be just as effective if the child happens to be away from home.

[Zaiger]

Originally Posted by Faith_Machine

How about a device that simply delivers an electric shock if it senses an impending erection? That way, it would be just as effective if the child happens to be away from home.

We tried that the problem is the body tends to learn through things like pain. When the errection become tied to a shock the body tends to stop doing it, so once they get married it is impossible to have christian children.
Why would the child be away from home?
Your idea is good, maybe i could market that version to the colored families

[landoverlover]

Originally Posted by Faith_Machine

Zaiger, these are truly innovative ideas! I hope you've patented all of them!

Yeah, that's pretty fancy. Here in the backwoods of Oregon, we use a lot of electrified fencing, steel bars, and other material we buy "around back" at prison construction sites, of which there are many.

[Faith_Machine]

Originally Posted by Zaiger

We tried that the problem is the body tends to learn through things like pain. When the errection become tied to a shock the body tends to stop doing it, so once they get married it is impossible to have christian children.
Why would the child be away from home?
Your idea is good, maybe i could market that version to the colored families

I can see you've really thought this through. I guess that's why you're paid the big bucks. This underscores just how dangerous it can be when an untrained amateur such as me presumes to think he knows something about sin prevention.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I'm glad to see that you've rediscovered your shift key.

Please tell us about yourself, boy. How old are you? What sins have you been wallowing in?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Zaiger]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Please tell us about yourself, boy. How old are you? What sins have you been wallowing in?

I am 27 years old, currently I have been living without much sin in my life except for my foul language and disrespectful tone. Would you know of any scripture that could aid a man like me?

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Understood sir and thank you again.

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Originally Posted by Zaiger

Im out here right now on business. I have to sin-proof the bedrooms of a few dozen houses out here.

Yes, I'm sure you find that clever.

What is your opinion on the curse of Ham and it's impact on the darkies?

[Zaiger]

Originally Posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson

What is your opinion on the curse of Ham and it's impact on the darkies?

It was always my understanding that the Dark ones were always meant to be servants of the white race. Their bigger frame lets them carry more, their wide shoulders make an easy target for discipline whipping, their dark skin lets them work in the sun all day without the need to go inside or seek shade and their foul odor was designed by god to keep white women away. Their lack of a developed frontal lobe keeps the mind focused on work and producing more servants for their god appointed masters. Due to this they are quicker to resort to violence, which is a good thing! You want them to react the only way they know how when they see their white masters being threatened.
Don't get me wrong I love negros just like the rest of God's creations but the fact is they have their place in life. God created horses too but im not about to let my daughter date a horse or have one over for dinner, how silly would that be?

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Originally Posted by Zaiger

It was always my understanding that the Dark ones were always meant to be servants of the white race. Their bigger frame lets them carry more, their wide shoulders make an easy target for discipline whipping, their dark skin lets them work in the sun all day without the need to go inside or seek shade and their foul odor was designed by god to keep white women away. Their lack of a developed frontal lobe keeps the mind focused on work and producing more servants for their god appointed masters. Due to this they are quicker to resort to violence, which is a good thing! You want them to react the only way they know how when they see their white masters being threatened.
Don't get me wrong I love negros just like the rest of God's creations but the fact is they have their place in life. God created horses too but im not about to let my daughter date a horse or have one over for dinner, how silly would that be?

So, basically that everyone looked normal until Noah's Ark? That would about sum it up?