[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda

One thing to keep in mind if the pastor does go through with this is to resist the temptation to keep them all segregated in the back sections. Keeping them all together would likely prove dangerous because they can be crafty when plotting in groups and also the older women Jews tend to keep things like live chickens in their purses so extra security might not be a bad idea.

Chickens! Thank you, dear Sister Mary, for reminding me of this. What is the fascination with having chickens in their purses, one wonders? Well, I think part of it is that they want to have a chicken handy, for times when their ridiculous religious beliefs demand that they perform the ritual of swinging chickens over their heads! Instead of believing in the , they would rather do foolish things, such as you will see in the attached video clip.

And, yes, extra security might not be a bad idea. Can you just imagine the Easter Sunday disturbance that those Jews would cause during the sermon of if they were to start swinging clucking, screeching chickens all over the place?

[Johny Joe Hold]

If we got a Jew to attend, I'm wondering if we could pull off an ultimate humiliation of the religious hubris we know is there in all Jews. Could we focus the sanctuary TV camera on the Jew's face and project it on the big screen high up front? Then we would sing:

"Up from the grave he arose,
With a mighty triumph o're his foes.
He arose a victory from the dark domain,
and He live forever with His Saints to reign."

Maybe I'm too optimistic here, but I foresee tears and a big tithe right there before our eyes.

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

If we got a Jew to attend, I'm wondering if we could pull off an ultimate humiliation of the religious hubris we know is there in all Jews. Could we focus the sanctuary TV camera on the Jew's face and project it on the big screen high up front? Then we would sing:

"Up from the grave he arose,
With a mighty triumph o're his foes.
He arose a victory from the dark domain,
and He live forever with His Saints to reign."

Maybe I'm too optimistic here, but I foresee tears and a big tithe right there before our eyes.

Well, that might sound like a good idea (in theory), dear Brother Mayor Hold, but something tells me that those Jews would "turn the tables" and try to to pull their own ultimate humiliation on the followers of the , here at .

For one thing, I'd be afraid that they would invade — and attempt to take over — the Easter Sunday ham luncheon that the Ladies of Landover prepare for after the morning service. Can you just imagine the chaos that would follow if those Jews got up on the dining table, stomping away in the scalloped potatoes and lemon meringue pies? As you shall see in the attached video clip, it would be nothing but madness and mayhem!

[Dennis Lukes]

Maybe it's not such a good idea. Lord God, through the Apostle Paul, warned us that the Jews are "unruly" and "vain," that they are "deceivers" whose "Jewish fables and commandments of men ... turn from the truth." Without exception they "subvert whole houses, teaching things which they ought not, for filthy lucre's sake." Not only must we reject Jewish propaganda, we are enjoined by scripture and Christ the King to actively persecute and silence them, for "their mouths must be stopped" (Titus 1:10-16).

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes

Maybe it's not such a good idea. Without exception they "subvert whole houses, teaching things which they ought not, for filthy lucre's sake." Not only must we reject Jewish propaganda, we are enjoined by scripture and Christ the King to actively persecute and silence them, for "their mouths must be stopped" (Titus 1:10-16).

Amen, dear Brother Lukes! Yes, if we invite any Jew to then we can expect nothing but trouble. They will deny the truth of the and its teachings about the resurrection of the . And, they won't be subtle about it; no, no. They will be as "in your face" as they can be, and they will say anything to deny the reality of the true plan of salvation, as given by Almighty !

Romans 6:6 "Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin."

[Johny Joe Hold]

I haven't yet heard of any Jews coming to LBC tomorrow. If we do get inquires, we need to take seriously those members who are opposed to allowing those who killed Jesus access to our True™ faith.

As a token of good will, however, I think it would be fine to offer an Easter ham to those who would otherwise have attended LBC. Most Jews have never tasted pork so they no doubt would enjoy a nice ham.

Why Do Jews Not Eat Pork or Crab? - On why pig and crab are not kosher foods - Chabad.org

[Dennis Lukes]

God bless all of my dear friends and acquaintances at Landover Baptist Church. Hoping you all have an Easter Sunday that's wonderful and judenfrei!

[WWJDnow]

Thankfully, nobody was stupid enough to bring a Jew to the church. However, a number of Jews who read our church forums showed up to hold a seder. For those who don't know, a seder is a Satanic ritual that Jews celebrate during their Passover holiday, in which they sacrifice a Christian child and drink its blood with horseradish and unleavened bread.

Church security and the Freehold Iowa Police Department were Johnny on the spot and dispersed the Jews before any children could be harmed. Unfortunately, several of them made a beeline to the offices of the Freehold Truth and Light newspaper, where they have barricaded themselves in. (I guess I shouldn't be surprised, since Jews always take over the media whenever they can). So please be aware that the next issue or two of the Truth and Light may contain some rather un-Christian content, while the authorities go about smoking out these wayward Jews.

It's unclear exactly what method they will use, but I suggest scattering loose pocket change outside the Truth and Light building. No Jew can resist the lure of free money.

[WWJDnow]

It turns out that the invaders of the Truth and Light newspaper offices were two raccoons, not a group of Jews. I hope you'll forgive this error--after all, in the darkness of night, Jews and raccoons look very much alike.

You'll be pleased to know that the offices of the Truth and Light are now completely raccoon (and Jew) free.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by WWJDnow

It turns out that the invaders of the Truth and Light newspaper offices were two raccoons, not a group of Jews. I hope you'll forgive this error--after all, in the darkness of night, Jews and raccoons look very much alike.
You'll be pleased to know that the offices of the Truth and Light are now completely raccoon (and Jew) free.

That was an unusual Easter morning service for sure. Pastor Zeke had the big spotlight on himself so the rest of the church was quite dark. Pastor was doing a great job condemning sin and it was bothering some people there. Like you, Brother Dnow, I didn't know for certain who they were.

Then, when Pastor told of Jesus nailed up on the cross there was cheering. In a bit the sermon turned to the resurrection and it left that group stunned. There was some trouble but quickly handled by security.

[Isabella White]

Well, here we are, with Easter coming up in a few weeks' time. If anybody thinks that we should invite those Jews to our Easter Sunday service this year, then kindly think again! We can't be having them coming in and scaring and confusing the little kiddies. With their strange costumes, the children might wonder if oween has come early! Why, what ever would happen to decency and decorum if they were allowed inside our church? They would only make a mockery of the true meaning of Easter! Keep the Jews out — for the love of !

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Originally Posted by Isabella White

Well, here we are, with Easter coming up in a few weeks' time. If anybody thinks that we should invite those Jews to our Easter Sunday service this year, then kindly think again! We can't be having them coming in and scaring and confusing the little kiddies. With their strange costumes, the children might wonder if oween has come early! Why, what ever would happen to decency and decorum if they were allowed inside our church? They would only make a mockery of the true meaning of Easter! Keep the Jews out — for the love of !

I'm with Mrs. White for this one. After all, they may bring a jewish Easter bunny. It is already a well known fact that their beloved Bugs Bunny is part of the tribe.





I mean, isn't this enough keep the children away from the Looney Jews?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Introducing bunnies and chicken eggs to the Easter tradition surely came from the Jews. Why would Christians introduce them when there is no mention of rabbits or chickens in the Easter Story? Every plastic Easter egg and stuffed toy bunny should have a sign on the front, JEW.

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Introducing bunnies and chicken eggs to the Easter tradition surely came from the Jews. Why would Christians introduce them when there is no mention of rabbits or chickens in the Easter Story? Every plastic Easter egg and stuffed toy bunny should have a sign on the front, JEW.

Oh, it's the same thing every year when mas rolls around, too, dear Brother Mayor Hold. Even though there is no mention of a creep wearing a red suit in the story of the birth of the , SATAN Claus still manages to get into our blessed church and interwebs site. But — mark my words — this will not happen this year. I have already pleaded the of to protect us from that intruder. And may the very same protection keep those Jew people (and their distractions) away from — especially when they conspired to kill the !

I Thessalonians 2:14-16:
14 For ye, brethren, became followers of the churches of which in Judaea are in : for ye also have suffered like things of your own countrymen, even as they have of the Jews:
15 Who both killed the , and their own prophets, and have persecuted us; and they please not , and are contrary to all men:
16 Forbidding us to speak to the Gentiles that they might be saved, to fill up their sins alway: for the wrath is come upon them to the uttermost.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

I am in the very fortunate position of not knowing any Jews, but wouldn't this be rather like inviting Brutus to Julius Caesar's memorial service?