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Default 9 Unexpected Things Discovered in President Biden's Safe - 01-24-2023, 05:55 PM

Time moves on and yet the jokes remain the same. Following an almost identical debacle with Mr. Trump, Mr. Biden has been found guilty of harboring illegal documents in his ballroom(s). A secret sauce exclusive to LBC has leaked official contents to your humble reporter. Number 4 will SHOCK you:
  • Some spiders
  • Cash from 7 countries adding up to $6.31 in coins
  • Bupkiss
  • A Bible!
The thought of Josef Megele Biden owning a Bible is... discongruent, although he needs to READ it not lock it away in storage. According to our source some more stuff was found but the transmission went dark mysteriously in the middle.


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Default Re: 9 Unexpected Things Discovered in President Biden's Safe - 01-24-2023, 10:06 PM

Oh no...





Classified documents discovered at Mike Pence’s home in Indiana


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Default Re: 9 Unexpected Things Discovered in President Biden's Safe - 01-25-2023, 01:56 AM

I'm guessing all the vintage child porno mags from the 70s went into the shredder before authorities arrived.


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Default Re: 9 Unexpected Things Discovered in President Biden's Safe - 01-25-2023, 03:33 PM

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Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
I'm guessing all the vintage child porno mags from the 70s went into the shredder before authorities arrived.
I'm certain we will see some paintings done by Hunter that are porn. Papa thought is best to hide them away.


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Default Re: 9 Unexpected Things Discovered in President Biden's Safe - 01-25-2023, 04:09 PM

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I'm certain we will see some paintings done by Hunter that are porn. Papa thought is best to hide them away.
Ugh. I've already been forced to view the Hunter Biden foot-sex tape (out of a sense of civic duty). Technically that makes him a podophile. Hmm... suspiciously close to pedophile. Does the apple not fall far from the tree? I have zero doubt that even among Democrats the Bidens are notorious pedophiles. Is it true he swore his oath of office on a copy of Lolita? I heard that he did.


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Default Re: 9 Unexpected Things Discovered in President Biden's Safe - 01-25-2023, 05:09 PM

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Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
I have zero doubt that even among Democrats the Bidens are notorious pedophiles. Is it true he swore his oath of office on a copy of Lolita? I heard that he did.
I spread heard the same rumor too. More news is in on Mr. Biden's safe contents - apparently there is a hidden section behind a false panel large enough for a grown man to crawl into that contains girls' panties and detailed hand-written notes on the provenance and bouquet.


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Default Re: 9 Unexpected Things Discovered in President Biden's Safe - 01-26-2023, 01:35 AM

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Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
I spread heard the same rumor too. More news is in on Mr. Biden's safe contents - apparently there is a hidden section behind a false panel large enough for a grown man to crawl into that contains girls' panties and detailed hand-written notes on the provenance and bouquet.
I swear on a Bible that the following information is as true as Christ's divinity:
  • Joe Biden is a pedophile
  • Joe Biden has molested over 1,000 people, primarily underage girls
  • Joe Biden visited Epstein's Island over a dozen times
  • Joe Biden was a suspect in the JonBenet Ramsey murder
  • Joe Biden orchestrated the death of his first wife and daughter after she caught him molesting the girl and threatened to have him arrested
  • Joe Biden is a known acquaintance of Hillary Clinton, the notorious Satanist High Priestess variously known as "The Beast 666" and "Devourer of Children" among her acolytes
  • Joe Biden attempted to convince Barack Obama to pardon multiple convicted child pornographers
  • "I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start smelling her. You know I'm automatically attracted to youthful... I just start smelling them. It's like a magnet. Just smell. I don't even wait. And when you're a grown up and she's just a little kid they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. I can do anything. I am the devil and I'm here to do the Devil's work." - Joe Biden


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Default Re: 9 Unexpected Things Discovered in President Biden's Safe - 01-29-2023, 04:23 PM

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Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
I swear on a Bible that the following information is as true as Christ's divinity:
  • "I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start smelling her. You know I'm automatically attracted to youthful... I just start smelling them. It's like a magnet. Just smell. I don't even wait. And when you're a grown up and she's just a little kid they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. I can do anything. I am the devil and I'm here to do the Devil's work." - Joe Biden
Much as I resent it when he does it, Brother, you can't deny a man the forbidden fruit. It's only natural. Powerful men have powerful needs - we all do. So I would urge caution when investigating hearsay allegations of what may or may not have happened on a private island. Those matters are best left unresponsive in a jail cell following suicide by hanging, or found asphyxiated in a basement with a crushed skull like poor JonBenet.


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