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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Eagle My introduction - 04-10-2015, 08:25 PM

My name is Andrew Martins, and I am an expat living in South Africa. I am hoping to be saved and maybe start a church and gain a small following. Together we can watch over 50 million unsaved scum and slaves be destroyed by the Lord Above!My favourite Bible passage is Job 14: 1-4. "We are all born weak and helpless. All lead the same short, troubled life. We grow and wither as quickly as flowers; we disappear like shadows. Will you even look at me, God, or put me on trial and judge me? Nothing clean ever came from anything as unclean as human beings."
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Default Re: My introduction - 04-10-2015, 11:46 PM

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Originally Posted by whiteisright View Post
My name is Andrew Martins, and I am an expat living in South Africa. I am hoping to be saved and maybe start a church and gain a small following. Together we can watch over 50 million unsaved scum and slaves be destroyed by the Lord Above!My favourite Bible passage is Job 14: 1-4. "We are all born weak and helpless. All lead the same short, troubled life. We grow and wither as quickly as flowers; we disappear like shadows. Will you even look at me, God, or put me on trial and judge me? Nothing clean ever came from anything as unclean as human beings."

What kind of "Bible" did that come out of, friend? Only the King James Bible is the true and unedited word of God.


What is an expat?


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: My introduction - 04-10-2015, 11:59 PM

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Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
What kind of "Bible" did that come out of, friend? Only the King James Bible is the true and unedited word of God.


What is an expat?
Yes. My Bible says:
"Man that is born of a woman Is of few days, and full of trouble.
2 He cometh forth like a flower, and is cut down:
He fleeth also as a shadow, and continueth not.
3 And dost thou open thine eyes upon such an one,
And bringest me into judgment with thee?
4 Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean?
Not one."


Quite different!


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Default Re: My introduction - 04-11-2015, 12:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteisright View Post
My name is Andrew Martins, and I am an expat living in South Africa. I am hoping to be saved and maybe start a church and gain a small following. Together we can watch over 50 million unsaved scum and slaves be destroyed by the Lord Above!My favourite Bible passage is Job 14: 1-4. "We are all born weak and helpless. All lead the same short, troubled life. We grow and wither as quickly as flowers; we disappear like shadows. Will you even look at me, God, or put me on trial and judge me? Nothing clean ever came from anything as unclean as human beings."
I hope your expatriate experience has been a pleasant one, despite being around the spiritually empty environment of that dark continent. Do you fear being eaten by cannibals each night? That southern drawl must also drive you crazy. I hope you always wear lots of bug repellent (pure DDT is good) and never even think of getting too close to "those" people. I would also imagine you fear getting things stolen quite often.

When does your assignment end? Will you return to God's favorite country upon its completion? Tell us more about your walk with Jesus and why the very thought of Him makes you want to ejaculate His praise.

With warmth and Christian love,
NRL


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Default Re: My introduction - 04-11-2015, 04:17 AM

We here don't want to see unsaved people be destroyed. We want to see them get saved. That's why we preach the Word of God.

I'm a little concerned about your username, friend. You wouldn't happen to be some kind of white supremacist or something, would you? We don't tolerate racism here. We ban people for that. Everyone can be saved, even the darkest Negro.

Pastor Billy-Reuben


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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Unhappy Re: My introduction - 04-11-2015, 08:02 AM

To the honorable pastor, I would like to answer that I am not a supremacist, or a hater of the unsaved, but simply a realist. The amount of paganism, occult practices and idolatry in this country is spine-chilling; I fear that very few here would ever wish to be saved. I do have hope however. The Lord Jesus' light may reach them before the Second Coming. I must also hasten to explain the faulty quote, for which I am deeply sorry. Finding a King James Bible in this country is no easy feat. I have been searching for years, but the Holy Spirit has not yet sern fit to guide me to one. Until then, I struggle along with a Good News bible, which I have to read with great scepticism. I am sorry for the heinous misquote.
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Default Re: My introduction - 04-11-2015, 09:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteisright View Post
Finding a King James Bible in this country is no easy feat. I have been searching for years, but the Holy Spirit has not yet sern fit to guide me to one. Until then, I struggle along with a Good News bible, which I have to read with great scepticism. I am sorry for the heinous misquote.
That is no excuse. The King James Bible can be found online here.


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Bible Re: My introduction - 04-11-2015, 09:14 AM

I have found one! Praise to the Lord on High! I will no longer have to rely upon that butchery of God's holy word (Today's English Version.)
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Default Re: My introduction - 04-11-2015, 01:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteisright View Post
To the honorable pastor, I would like to answer that I am not a supremacist, or a hater of the unsaved, but simply a realist. The amount of paganism, occult practices and idolatry in this country is spine-chilling; I fear that very few here would ever wish to be saved. I do have hope however. The Lord Jesus' light may reach them before the Second Coming.
That's good to hear, friend. You're right that the vast majority of people will end up in Hell, because as Jesus said, "strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it."

Pastor Billy-Reuben


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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Default Re: My introduction - 04-11-2015, 04:00 PM

It's quite disrespectful to ignore the questions of a True Christian™ here.


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
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Default Re: My introduction - 04-11-2015, 04:25 PM

[QUOTE=whiteisright;1142037]Finding a King James Bible in this country is no easy feat.
If you give us your name, address and other contact details, we will be glad to send you a KJV 1611 Bible to your home address.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteisright View Post
Until then, I struggle along with a Good News bible, which I have to read with great scepticism.
Please throw that corrupted "Bible" away.


I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
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Default Re: My introduction - 04-11-2015, 06:40 PM

These fine folks will send you a brand spanking new KJV Bible absolutely free just for asking.

http://www.sharingthetruthinlove.com/page.asp?pg=3

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Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

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Default Re: My introduction - 04-11-2015, 08:05 PM

Any Real American who lives in South Africa by choice is not so much an expatriate as an ex-patriot.

What is your country of origin?


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Default Re: My introduction - 04-11-2015, 09:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by whiteisright View Post
My name is Andrew Martins, and I am an expat living in South Africa. I am hoping to be saved and maybe start a church and gain a small following. Together we can watch over 50 million unsaved scum and slaves be destroyed by the Lord Above!My favourite Bible passage is Job 14: 1-4. "We are all born weak and helpless. All lead the same short, troubled life. We grow and wither as quickly as flowers; we disappear like shadows. Will you even look at me, God, or put me on trial and judge me? Nothing clean ever came from anything as unclean as human beings."
Welcome to God's favorite forum, Andy. How old are you? What Church do you attend? How many kaffir do you own?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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whiteisright whiteisright is offline
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Default Re: My introduction - 04-12-2015, 01:04 PM

I apologise for the late reply, especially to Sister Naomi. I have had limited time on my hands due to my neighbours' nosing. I will trs to answer everyone now. My experience has sadly been largely unpleasant, as I have been robbed numerous times. I am also plagued by the bugs that the Lord no doubt sent to punish the wicked here. Thankfully, my property is enclosed by walls and razor wire now, so I feel safer. Even more so once I receive the blessings of Jesus and witness his glory smiting the wicked about me. Since I now have a farm, wife and kids, I don't think I will be able to return to the land of God, much to my sorrow. I left it when i was only a bo y because my parents had to be deported due to their interaction with the commies. I am now 38 years old. I have found a KJV Bible at long last, and sent that vexing NEV trash to the inferno where it belongs! I don't 'own' anyone (we aren't allowed to say that on this continent, Lord preserve us) but almost twentyof them owe their income to me. And there are no true churches herr, so I don't belong to one, much to my sorrow.
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Billy Bob Jenkins Billy Bob Jenkins is offline
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Default Re: My introduction - 04-12-2015, 01:12 PM

Dear friend,

I am sorry for what the jigs did you your once great nation. The Douche were almost competent to run their own country, and so it made sense that God would give them South Africa. I'm sure that the efforts of your people to enhance the culture of the dark natives were entirely lost on them spiritually, but I hear they have not entirely destroyed the infrastructure your fathers left them.

I pray that the white hand of Jesus guides the malcontent, jive administrators of South Africa to perform some maintenance on municipal equipment when they are not too busy drinking forties and raping white women. Amen.


The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is offline
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Default Re: My introduction - 04-12-2015, 09:38 PM

You are welcome of course to move to the godly USA where we can practice True Christianity (as long as we remember to cut down the liberals who are sent from satan))! I know He has put you out there, but remember Matthew 7:7. Ask Him to come to the USA and you will!


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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whiteisright whiteisright is offline
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flag Re: My introduction - 04-13-2015, 03:00 PM

Mrs Johnson, I do indeed pray every evening to come to a land where I can look into a house of worship and not be sickened by the mockery for God's love that goes on within. But perhaps the Lord is punishing me for my parents' sins, and leaving me in this cultural armpit, where the situation is worse than even friend Jenkins fears. It is truly a miracle that there is still a standing structure here. I would just like to clarify that I am 46 years old, not 38. That was some accident on my part.
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whiteisright whiteisright is offline
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Default Re: My introduction - 04-16-2015, 10:56 AM

Brothers, what must I do now? How can I become a member of God's Favourite forum? How can I be saved from the Eternal Fire? I fear God, and do not want to face his holy wrath.
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