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Smile Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-10-2012, 09:30 PM

As everyone knows, we have always had unflinching support for the Call Of Duty series of patriotism-simulators.

The latest in the series, Black Ops 2, is being advertised by Oliver North. Of course, most of the players won't remember who he is, but I'm guessing that the CoDBo2 will act as a biography of his career.

Players will get to patriotically sell weapons to Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini (only illegal due to gun-control nazis) and then patriotically use the money to help Nicaroguan* drug dealers buy bombs (hey, maybe not technically legal, but we're not talking hard drugs like reefer. Just cocaine, which is necessary to keep our financial industry humming along. Have you ever managed to trade a smany derivatives as they do while sober? Good luck!)

Quote:
Thanks for weapons, Ollie! High five!
So anyway, after the first bit, I hear the later levels get a bit fantastical, where the media and the voters and all the other traitors find out. In real life, Oliver North got off on a technicality. I hear in Call Of Duty: Blacks Ops 2 the traitors will be dealt with in a more, shall we say, splattery fashion.

I know, I have not actually played the game, but as a Christian I have a gift for Prophecy. I have seen us playing it in heaven, and as True Christians™ we will be the only ones to play, because the rapture will come before it is released. We are living in the final days: the final days, as the Bible says: (Mt.16:28, Mt.23:36, Mt.24:34, Mt.26:64, Mk.9:1, Mk.13:30, Lk.9:27, Lk.21:32, Phil.4:5, Heb.1:2, Rev.22:20).

*No, that's not a racial slur, they actually want to be called "nicaraguan". In fact, call them Mexicans and they get offended!


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Default Re: Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-10-2012, 09:42 PM

Glory!

From the preview I was reading the player, or operative as we call him in the biz, takes down a rouge Acorn facility that is being used to train activist voters. Supposed to be the most pulse pounding hour in gaming as the operative shoots it out with the Black Panther guards.

Later levels feature a surgical strike against a Net Rots convention were the operative faces Mark Kos himself armed with an M60 machine gun or invade the New York Times building to fight an army of Racheal Maddows clones. There are also rumors of a fist fight with Nacy Pelosi in Air Force Ones as she tries to flies to Tehran after stealing the Constitution.

Take from this personal security and asset protection specialist; Black Ops 2 is the most authentic simulation of what it's like in special ops ever done in computer gaming.



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Default Re: Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-10-2012, 10:30 PM

Hackers play a major role too. I predict a part where you get to infiltrate a jail to interrogate the guy who got Sarah Palin's emails. Let me just say that you won't be shooting a gun in the literal sense...


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Default Re: Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-11-2012, 12:54 AM

Wait, so this is a video game? And a possibly Godly one?



I must have misunderstood Mrs. Engel. She said that she'd found a DVD in her son Cody's room, and it was named (I thought) "Black Cops 2".

Here I thought it was gay smut.

Excuse me, I think I still have time to call her before Mr. Engel gets home. I'll just have her bring me the DVD for review, just to be sure.


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Default Re: Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-11-2012, 01:04 AM

Jeb, I have not seen this one yet. Can you waterboard or is that one of those third party add-ons?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-11-2012, 03:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Wait, so this is a video game? And a possibly Godly one?



I must have misunderstood Mrs. Engel. She said that she'd found a DVD in her son Cody's room, and it was named (I thought) "Black Cops 2".

Here I thought it was gay smut.

Excuse me, I think I still have time to call her before Mr. Engel gets home. I'll just have her bring me the DVD for review, just to be sure.
What I'm wondering is how he would have it, if the game isn't even released yet.


Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.
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Default Re: Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-11-2012, 04:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GayBilly View Post
What I'm wondering is how he would have it, if the game isn't even released yet.
Thru Christ, all things are possible.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-11-2012, 05:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GayBilly View Post
What I'm wondering is how he would have it, if the game isn't even released yet.
God-mocking sodomite, you'll be happy to know I got hold of Mrs. Engel, she is holding off on saying anything to her husband, and will bring the disc to me tomorrow morning. I can then investigate.


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Default Re: Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-11-2012, 11:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Thru Christ, all things are possible.
But would he really take time out of his busy day to give one person an early copy of a video game that hasn't been completed yet?

For some reason, I doubt it.


Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.
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Default Re: Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-11-2012, 06:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GayBilly View Post
But would he really take time out of his busy day to give one person an early copy of a video game that hasn't been completed yet?

For some reason, I doubt it.
Game companies always release demos to reviewers before the main release. The kid likely ended up with it. For example Pastor Zeke does that for Freehold and just got the Call of Duty expansion Black Ops2; Deeper Penetration.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-11-2012, 10:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
God-mocking sodomite, you'll be happy to know I got hold of Mrs. Engel, she is holding off on saying anything to her husband, and will bring the disc to me tomorrow morning. I can then investigate.
I got the DVD a short while ago.

It is not a video game.

I'm not entirely sure what it is, since the picture is very dark. I will have to study it in greater detail after sunset, because I don't have blackout curtains in my living room.


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Default Re: Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-13-2012, 01:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Game companies always release demos to reviewers before the main release. The kid likely ended up with it. For example Pastor Zeke does that for Freehold and just got the Call of Duty expansion Black Ops2; Deeper Penetration.
Huh. Again, I really doubt a game company would give a reviewer a game before it's even close to being finished. Usually they wait until about a week or two before release to give it to the reviewers.
Also, I really don't think there would already be an expansion pack to an unfinished, let alone one in a series that has never had any store released expansion packs.


Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.
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Default Re: Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-13-2012, 11:01 AM

That is a terrific expansion Pak. Thanks for putting it on the server so all True Christians™ could download it.
"Deeper Penetration" really is very exciting. There were so many levels and strategies used to 'get in'. The devices were extremely realistic.
I thought that they 'Tebowed' before each op was especially touching.


Does anyone know if they are going to make washable controllers for the Wii?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-17-2012, 03:26 AM

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Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
I got the DVD a short while ago.

It is not a video game.

I'm not entirely sure what it is, since the picture is very dark. I will have to study it in greater detail after sunset, because I don't have blackout curtains in my living room.
The DVD was disgusting perverted filth!

I have called Mrs. Engel, and she assures me that her husband will administer the rod to the boy tonight.

I told her that if Mr. Engel didn't manage to beat the queer out of the boy, he should bring the lad by and I'd work him over for a while.

Please join me in praying that Bobby Engel will give up on the homosexuality!


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Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: Preview: Call of Duty Black Ops 2 - 05-17-2012, 04:35 AM

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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Glory!

From the preview I was reading the player, or operative as we call him in the biz, takes down a rouge Acorn facility that is being used to train activist voters. Supposed to be the most pulse pounding hour in gaming as the operative shoots it out with the Black Panther guards.
Black ops certainly piqued my interest....anyway that they could just make the enemies all Black Panther guards? That would just make the game a rip-roarin good time for me!

~Nate
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