HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN A seasonal forum to NOT celebrate Satan's birthday. |
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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Posts: 4,850
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
10-02-2019, 10:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari
... this hunt will be stalking President Donald Trump ... and ... I have long wanted to meet Ivanka and this witch hunt may present my opportunity to do so at long last. I will happily report on our progress in due time.
Jah Guide!
Trevor
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Hmmmmm; really? Well, good luck there, Mr. Rastafari. Posting your intentions on a public forum is not the best idea that you've had.
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
10-03-2019, 11:56 AM
This was brought up Sunday after noon at the men's meeting after Church. While most ethic people act witch like, that does not mean they are witches. So simply because a person is ethnic does not mean they will be counted in your total. Though the effort is appreciated.
For all of you who did not have a permit and log book waiting for you at the office, please apply now, certified check (payable to Pastor Ezekiel Flint) or cash. It takes time to do the background check and process the paperwork, Rush applications are being accepted for an additional sliding fee.
Don't forget to visit Bobby-Joe's Armory and Christian Gift Shoppe and stock up. There will be a selection of young boys available to load your purchases Ammo only goes bad if you store it improperly, be sure to get plenty of desiccant as well.
Finally, a unloaded weapon cannot shoot. Nor can a locked one. Loaded, cocked and safety off for immediate redemption. Let's not have time wasted in that crucial first second!
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
10-04-2019, 03:26 AM
I am not going to participate in this hunt since there are likely no witches where I will be that night. I do wish you well in your efforts to rid the world of satanic creatures.
I will be ministering to the poor homers in Palm Springs at their annual gala. Be sure to pray that I bring many to their knees.
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
10-04-2019, 06:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White
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The eyes aren't right. She looks sane.
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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Posts: 4,850
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
10-04-2019, 02:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
The eyes aren't right. She looks sane.
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I'm afraid that that was the only one I was able to find at the time of my posting, dear Sister Mitza. Since then, however, this one has been made available -- much more realistic, don't you agree, Dear?
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
10-05-2019, 03:24 AM
I try not to go out on hallowe'en. Just add broomstick.
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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Posts: 4,850
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
10-05-2019, 04:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
I try not to go out on hallowe'en. Just add broomstick.
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Oh, I know exactly what you mean, dear Sister Mitza. Whenever I open the door on oween night, the little kids usually jump back, in shock. But since it's often the Cathyolick kids from next door (those same brats that love to kick their football over into my rose garden), I just laugh it off, especially since their treat is not candy -- it's a Chick tract to warn them of their impending doom!
A blessed day to you, dear Sister,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
10-06-2019, 12:19 AM
You know that is a wonderful reminder of a recent miracle; one of the young gentlemen has witnessed an answer to prayer in the form of a parent's recovery who may still be struggling with the Babylonian cult or at least with their cultic practices masquerading as the "church" of Rome.
One thing to remember (for him to remember) is that other catholics exist, quite apart from the orthodox heretics they splintered off from, some in full communion with Rome—whatever that means—some not and then there's the sedevacantists who see the Romish mania for what it is but have an even worse mania of their own and this parent (who I'm sure is a kindly old gentleman) may indeed leave the mainstream of papism only to hit the flames of a more sizzling fire.
If it's ok with you I'll include the panels you've posted with a supplementary prayer request, in addition to our prayer of thanksgiving, lest that parent be enticed away by a Maronite or one of the mad hatter brigade and—thinking that he'd found "the truth" (although how a popish barnacle would identify Truth escapes me, ask a priest I suppose but that would be like asking a witch what's wrong with casting spells)—wind up more or less as depicted in that tract.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
10-23-2019, 02:25 PM
This just in.
All witches that are caught or captured by hand (rope, axe, knife) will be counted as 1.5! So for every two that you kill by hand, you will get credit for three! If no implements are used, just bare hands and you are able to sever a limb of the witch, you will get a credit for two!!! So there is a real incentive to hunt like Jesus did, just with a length of Hemp rope and a rock.
Please, if you are bitten, you are expected to be a good True Christian™ and quarantine for a minimum of 30 days. We do not want another incident like last year when Mrs. Jameson turned during services, bled on the silk cushions and babbled incoherently like a Tin Tither®.
The sale at Bobby-Joe's ends Tuesday. All orders must be paid for and picked up prior to close of business. Exceptions granted to all Pastors and Platinum and Diamond Tithers®
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
10-31-2019, 05:06 PM
Well, the 'game begins' in a few hours.
As a reminder, all stores and businesses in Landover will be closed promptly at 5 PM except "Esther's Bible and Prayer Supplies" (God Bless her, 65 years and open 24/7/365) and the "Landover Men's Club". All orders from Booby-Joe's will be delivered by 4 PM.
Have a fun and safe Hell-o-ween! I have a feeling Pastor Flint will win again. He can slay sinners with a Bible and witches with a 1911!
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Possibly retarded pothead
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Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
10-31-2019, 05:18 PM
Greetings!
I am sad to report that I have decided that it is best for I to stay indoors tonight and not participate in the witch hunt due to my fear that the white nationalists will be out this night hunting people of color. I would not want to be captured and taken to their secret headquarters where no one can find I. Instead the white girls who are my suite mates here at Georgetown University and I will stay inside to smoke ganja in praise of Jah and prepare protest signs for our next spontaneous rally which is scheduled for Saturday in front of the White House which is nearby in Washington DC. Perhaps next year after we have driven off President Donald Trump and the white nationalists and there is a safer atmosphere I can join my white friends in hunting down witches.
Jah Guide!
Trevor
Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 13
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Gardnerlandia
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
10-31-2019, 10:26 PM
Many stonings shall be in order tonight I pray.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
10-31-2019, 10:33 PM
I have a good feeling about this year.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,730
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
11-01-2019, 01:58 AM
Apparently if you leave your porch light on, the witches come a-knocking. I've already bagged seven and I didn't even have to get up off the la-z-boy! Praise Jesus!
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
11-01-2019, 08:05 PM
All submissions must be delivered to the Church office and certified© as received by Miss Cookie no later than 5 PM Saturday the 2nd of November.
As usual, Platinum Tithers™ you may have one of your people call in the number of 'Witch Hits', no need for you to come down to the office in person.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
11-03-2019, 07:30 PM
Numbers are being tabulated, counts verified. Of course a few jigaboos submitted ridiculous claims and typical of our Pastors, obvious low totals.
I am not going to spoil the suspense with 'insider knowledge' but a certain 'someone' with Divine Acuity ™ appears to be the front runner. Once again Godliness is next to accuracy.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Unsaved trash Female incel (probably born as a man): ugly, boring, and witless
Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 257
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: Dorito production line
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
11-04-2019, 07:13 PM
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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Posts: 4,850
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
11-04-2019, 09:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JenNettles
I have chronic anxiety and I'm on the verge of a meltdown seeing this whole thread.
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Oh, dear. Miss Nettles, it does appear that you are rather emotionally high-strung, does it not? Whatever personal dilemma you're going on about now, I'm sure you will get over it in the best way that you know -- such as by mowing down -only-knows how many boxes of chocolate chip cookies.
Seriously, Dear, do try to use your time productively, for a change.
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Possibly retarded pothead
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Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
11-04-2019, 10:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JenNettles
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If you are going to call the police I hope you will tell them that I was afraid to participate in this years hunt and I stayed at the dormitory and did not go for fear of white nationalists which are many and very dangerous.
Jah Guide!
Trevor
Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: 2019 Witch Hunt -
11-05-2019, 01:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JenNettles
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Yes Jen, doing Gods work is all a big joke. How can you possibly judge us when you are barren?
BTW, Helloween was days ago. Late I see. I strongly suggest you pray a blind, deaf and dumb man playing doodle jump falls onto your feet.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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