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Default Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction! - 05-13-2013, 01:06 AM

I was having an online chat with an atheist the other night where I was trying to explain to him the errors of evolution. As a response he sent me the following videos while claiming that monkeys possessed some form of "human intelligence".





Now let's look at the facts. The Bible states:
Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Unlike humans, monkeys are not intelligent. They were not created in God's image. They don't think, they don't have souls and just like all other animals they follow their natural instincts to survive. However, monkeys also possess the capability of mimicking human behaviors much like negroes and parrots do. Note that having the capability to mimic others does not imply intelligence and while it can be funny to watch monkeys do their tricks they can also be extremely deceiving.

A lot of people nowadays seem to look at these animal characteristics and cite them as proof that we evolved from dirty monkeys. This is not good for us Christians since it is falsely being portrayed as evidence to support the tyranny of atheism and its active war against Christianity.
Colossians 2:8 Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
Children are especially vulnerable to these types of lies since they are not as capable of separating fact from fiction as adults are. Do you want to take the risk of your child being converted over to atheism over some godless monkey business?

NO!


The "great ape" species are a threat to our religion and therefore we must take immediate action. Chimpanzees, Bonobos, Orangutans and Gorillas are already endangered but thanks to the atheist conspiracy they are not yet fully extinct. In order to stop this menace we must actively encourage- and/or contribute to their ultimate extinction!
Exodus 15:3 The Lord is a man of war: the Lord is his name.
Let's join together as good Christians and put an end to this menace once and for all or it may just result in the extinction of our religion. Or worse, the lives of our children…



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How "My Little Pony" Turns Men Gay Through Subliminal Mind Control
The Tyrannosaurus Rex: A Creationist Perspective
How Newton's Laws PROVE God's Existence
God HATES Carbon Dating

2nd Timothy 6:20-21 O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called: Which some professing have erred concerning the faith. Grace be with thee. Amen.
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Default Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Extinction! - 05-13-2013, 02:24 AM

You might want to change the title of this post, Dr. Jones. I don't want Secret Service coming after you.


16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
1 Thess 4:16-17
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Default Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Extinction! - 05-13-2013, 02:25 AM

Your points could not be more timely. There is simply no reason for these disgusting beasts to remain around. All they do is remind the evolutionist of a supposed biological "link." And of course, if evolution were true, apes wouldn't be around today, and people would be walking out of the forests who just got done evolving. It would truly be a wonderful thing to rid the world of these things.



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Default Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Extinction! - 05-13-2013, 03:20 AM

After watching those videos there is no doubt in my mind that the atheists think that these primates are evolving into humans. It's a plot by Obama and the Democrats to include them in the immigration bill to allow them into the country, give them EBT cards, food stamps and register them to vote in the next election.


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brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction! - 05-13-2013, 05:04 AM

Amen, Brother! The Pastors at LBC were smart enough to buy up considerable land in the rainforest in the 1970's. Thanks to our logging and mineral rights, our Chinese partners have helped us eradicate thousands and thousands of monkeys.



Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction! - 05-13-2013, 05:22 AM

I'm a basketball fan. What about Michael Jordan?
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Default Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction! - 05-13-2013, 05:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
You might want to change the title of this post, Dr. Jones. I don't want Secret Service coming after you.
Don't worry, sister. As much as our porch-monkey president wishes he could track me down, I am currently staying at an undisclosed location in the Democratic Republic of the Congo preparing an expedition with the main goal of converting the Pygmies, shooting some mountain gorillas and gathering cold-hard scientific evidence for the existence of Mokele-Mbembe (AKA Behemoth), the last living dinosaur.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
Amen, Brother! The Pastors at LBC were smart enough to buy up considerable land in the rainforest in the 1970's. Thanks to our logging and mineral rights, our Chinese partners have helped us eradicate thousands and thousands of monkeys.
Brother Levi, I am glad that the LBC is already taking on this issue. But we need to raise more awareness. If we manage to rid the world of monkeys once and for all, atheists won't have anything left to back up their fallacies.
Isaiah 54:17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.


How "My Little Pony" Turns Men Gay Through Subliminal Mind Control
The Tyrannosaurus Rex: A Creationist Perspective
How Newton's Laws PROVE God's Existence
God HATES Carbon Dating

2nd Timothy 6:20-21 O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called: Which some professing have erred concerning the faith. Grace be with thee. Amen.
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Default Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction! - 05-13-2013, 06:11 AM

What I don't understand is, who cares if they go extinct? Why do atheists make such a big stink about that anyway? You'd think they would be happy, since they carry on about population control anyway.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction! - 05-13-2013, 07:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
What I don't understand is, who cares if they go extinct? Why do atheists make such a big stink about that anyway? You'd think they would be happy, since they carry on about population control anyway.
As much as I hate to put it into words, the answer is obvious to decent Manly True Christian™ males.

That's right: monkey sex. Anal monkey sex.

The atheists are mad for it

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction! - 05-13-2013, 08:49 AM

I'm an avid and skilled ape hunter. On my trips down in Uganda where i go to promote the kill the gays bill, i usually bribe some officials or park rangers so that i can legally hunt a couple of mountain gorillas. The meat is lean and tastes really good, and its a great feeling eating something that is the very last thing that atheists can use to "prove" their false theory, call me anytime you want a gorilla barbecue. The delivery addressed to Zeke's Estate is expected to arrive soon, hopefully before the weekend.

I also buy tens of thousends of acres of rain forest in Borneo every year from the Indonesian government, and allows locals to burn the acres that i bought, in order to make those damn orangutans disappear from the face of the earth once and for all.

Furthermore i think that we will also have to destroy the Galapagos Islands, preferably by dropping a couple of nukes on them, killing every single life form living there. With no apes and no Galapagos Islands, the atheists will no longer have any "evidence" for their stupid theories, and will have to submit to Christianity.
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Default Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction! - 05-13-2013, 09:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ed Lowman View Post
Your points could not be more timely. There is simply no reason for these disgusting beasts to remain around. All they do is remind the evolutionist of a supposed biological "link." And of course, if evolution were true, apes wouldn't be around today, and people would be walking out of the forests who just got done evolving. It would truly be a wonderful thing to rid the world of these things.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
As much as I hate to put it into words, the answer is obvious to decent Manly True Christian™ males.

That's right: monkey sex. Anal monkey sex.

The atheists are mad for it

YIC

These are two of the most well thought out comments I have ever seen on Landover. I am proud to call both of you "Brothers in Christ".
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Default Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction! - 05-13-2013, 10:31 PM

I am for the total extinction of all wild animals and pets. God put them here only so that man could have something to torment and subjugate, other than women and children.

Jesus will be coming back soon to torch the earth, I don't see any reason to keep these souless playthings around anymore; they just waste the natural resources we need to keep us going til the 2nd Coming.

Killing off all the monkeys is a good start, but marsupials should be next on the list. Any warm blooded female lacking nipples is surely an abomination.
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Default Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction! - 05-14-2013, 02:15 AM

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Originally Posted by Dr. Isaiah Jones View Post
I was having an online chat with an atheist the other night where I was trying to explain to him the errors of evolution. As a response he sent me the following videos while claiming that monkeys possessed some form of "human intelligence".
Hello Dr Jones; is it possible that monkeys (and other apes, such as the pope) are degenerate humans? In the fire video and the one with the tree I saw disctict evidence for a rump idolatry, similar to Baal worship but there hasn't been a thread where I could enquire. If they have already degenerated so far they're no longer cross-fertile with humans that would explain the vatican. And godless mules when mentioned in The Bible are not described as fertile (although their mothers were). Genesis 6
Confused
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Question Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction! - 05-15-2013, 12:41 AM

I don't see what all the fuss is about Apes. Dolphins are where it's all at!
Bottlenose Dolphins display a high level of intelligence, playfulness, communication ability between individuals and were even reported to (in a way) give individuals names. Also, they have brains that are extremely comparable to that of Humans, in fact, they're even larger than Humans'. They have a slightly lower brain mass to body mass ratio than Humans but, but their brains have more and deeper convolutions than Humans'.
Don't go killing Dolphins though.


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Default Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction! - 05-15-2013, 01:09 AM

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Originally Posted by CareTaker View Post
Bottlenose Dolphinshave brains that are extremely comparable to that of Humans, in fact, they're even larger than Humans'. They have a slightly lower brain mass to body mass ratio + additional vivisectionist propaganda
Dolphin brains have a different grey/white matter ratio. They are not like human brains. And before you start trying to gross us out even further I will mention that octopus brains are not human either.
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Default Re: Why ALL Great Apes Must Be Brought To Total Extinction! - 05-15-2013, 01:59 AM

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Originally Posted by CareTaker View Post
I don't see what all the fuss is about Apes. Dolphins are where it's all at!
Bottlenose Dolphins display a high level of intelligence, playfulness, communication ability between individuals and were even reported to (in a way) give individuals names. Also, they have brains that are extremely comparable to that of Humans, in fact, they're even larger than Humans'. They have a slightly lower brain mass to body mass ratio than Humans but, but their brains have more and deeper convolutions than Humans'.
Don't go killing Dolphins though.
Dolphins are delicious!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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