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Red face Affordable Birth Control for Unmarried Women - 02-18-2012, 03:49 AM



A PENNY

The way it works is that you put it between your knees and keep it there.



II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Default Re: Affordable Birth Control for Unmarried Women - 02-18-2012, 04:27 AM

Absolutely, there is no reason for the pill or other forms of contraception. All you need is the love of Jesus and will power. No woman EVER got pregnant by holding a head between their legs.


YIC

Jack


Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.



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Default Re: Affordable Birth Control for Unmarried Women - 02-18-2012, 04:36 AM

The only thing that troubles me is the idea of having a copper bust of such a socialist between the legs of our young women. Is there a modification to the Lincoln side of the coin that can be done to prevent this?


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Minecraft: Turning children into Sex slaves
My Little Pony is a tool of Satan at best
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Default Re: Affordable Birth Control for Unmarried Women - 02-18-2012, 04:37 AM

Women of America, be thankful you happened by Landover Baptist Church to learn from these men of authority proper thinking on the subject of "birth control."

Listen carefully to what these men have to say, pinch that penny and you just might find a place in heaven.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Affordable Birth Control for Unmarried Women - 02-18-2012, 06:01 AM

Future President (?) Santorum's largest donor recalls in her day, a gal pinched an asprin between her legs. It's classic advice that has never let a lady down yet!



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Affordable Birth Control for Unmarried Women - 02-18-2012, 07:34 AM

Mary - you mention an aspirin - I assume that would work with any small tablet? If so the UK government is considerably more Godly than I had ever imagined. As you can see here our government makes such contraceptive pills available to everyone. Free of charge as well, thanks to/due to our free universal health care.

I'm not sure why they need a specialised one, maybe its shaped to fit the knees? I'm also not clear how it would be used orally - any guess I can take is far too disgusting for a family forum.

If it doesn't have to be a US penny, and if any tablet is equally acceptable to the Lord, then I shall head down to pick some up on Monday.

Contraceptive pills truly seem to be the Lord's work.
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Default Re: Affordable Birth Control for Unmarried Women - 02-18-2012, 07:39 AM

Remember a coin held in place by buttock muscles works equally well in abstaining from faggotry.

YIC

Jack


Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.



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Default Re: Affordable Birth Control for Unmarried Women - 02-18-2012, 03:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan View Post
Remember a coin held in place by buttock muscles works equally well in abstaining from faggotry.

YIC

Jack
Well...unless it's a jew faggot!



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Default Re: Affordable Birth Control for Unmarried Women - 02-18-2012, 06:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
Well...unless it's a jew faggot!

Shout GLORY!! Those joos do love a shiny penny!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Affordable Birth Control for Unmarried Women - 02-18-2012, 06:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
Well...unless it's a jew faggot!

Does the Jew have to be a homosexual to try and get to such a coin?


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Affordable Birth Control for Unmarried Women - 02-18-2012, 08:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Does the Jew have to be a homosexual to try and get to such a coin?
I once witnessed to a homosexual who was stuffing loose change into his rectum by the fistful, in front of a synagogue.

I didn't bother to ask him what he was doing.


The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Default Re: Affordable Birth Control for Unmarried Women - 02-23-2012, 11:06 PM

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Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
I once witnessed to a homosexual who was stuffing loose change into his rectum by the fistful, in front of a synagogue.

I didn't bother to ask him what he was doing.
You seem to have an obsession with Homosexual sex. Well Brother it is delightful, so I certainly don't blame you.
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Default Re: Affordable Birth Control for Unmarried Women - 02-25-2012, 07:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by brotherbrainless View Post
You seem to have an obsession with Homosexual sex. Well Brother it is delightful, so I certainly don't blame you.
Yes, Brother Billy Bob's commitment to informing America's youth of the dangers of anal sex, sparing no graphic detail, is delightful. He truly is filled with the Love of Jesus.

And there is nothing, NOTHING, cute about sodomy.

Does this look "cute" or "fun"?

<-- disgusting. They EAT DA POO-POO!


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Billy Bob Jenkins's Avatar
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Default Re: Affordable Birth Control for Unmarried Women - 02-25-2012, 08:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Yes, Brother Billy Bob's commitment to informing America's youth of the dangers of anal sex, sparing no graphic detail, is delightful. He truly is filled with the Love of Jesus.

And there is nothing, NOTHING, cute about sodomy.

Does this look "cute" or "fun"?

<-- disgusting. They EAT DA POO-POO!
Indeed. Any TRUE Christian™ would find my reactionary position against anal sex to be a source of inspiration.

Thank you, by the way, for these excellent diagrams showing us what to avoid during any act of non buttsex. Anyone seeing this post will have no excuse on Judgment Day, should they insist upon having sodomy.


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Default 02-25-2012, 11:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by brotherbrainless View Post
You seem to have an obsession with Homosexual sex. Well Brother it is delightful, so I certainly don't blame you.
I would not call not needing to know what not to not do in as much detail as possible obsession: would an alligator wrangler not need to know exactly how the crocs were going to try and bite him? Does not the Godly hunter need to know exactly how the bear will lie in wait to tear his manly form to pieces?

That is what the homer does: he lies in wait, all sweaty and turgid for a lithe young male to fall into his goose fat lubed clutches. I've seen it over and over again in my witnessing duties. When I describe them to my wife she is disgusted! And well she should be.

For armed is forward: some of us take these things seriously, fella!

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