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burger Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-06-2018, 02:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elijah Mee, PhD View Post
Wow, you're not lying about being German.

Anyway, here are some actual holocaust jokes.

What did the Jew say after his shower?
"I feel much cleaner now, thanks."

Why did the Nazis build a swimming pool at Auschwitz?
Because the Jews were bored.

How do you create a Holocaust?
Torture a bunch of people into giving false testimonies at a show trial.

Why were there more Jews in Europe in 1944 than in 1939?
Because the Holocaust never happened.

And before anyone accuses me of anti-semitism, I went on a school trip to Auschwitz once so I'm a Holocaust survivor too.

I use "anti-semitism" in the loosest sense of the word because most of you retards don't realise that Palestinians are also semenites.
Amen, brother, even as a Christian Zionist I have to agree.


This morning I was at a place where Millions of Jews died.
The shower.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 09-24-2018, 03:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diesel Stanford View Post
...Christian Zionist...
......













Ah wow.


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Talking Re: Holocaust Jokes - 09-25-2018, 07:48 PM

Two joo children are sitting on top of a roof near a chimney. A passer-by asks, ‘What are you doing there?’ ‘We are waiting for our parents.’


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Skull Re: Holocaust Jokes - 09-26-2018, 08:27 PM

The scene is a bar in Berlin in January 1933, filled with Nazis. Goering is skulling stiens of beer with the brownshirts, Goebbels is sipping cocktails with a couple of groupies and Hitler is seated with a wild-eyed Hess discussing pupil diagnostics.

A True Christian™ enters, sees the full crew and realizes he’s sitting on the scoop of the century. He asks the barman: “Which one shall I ask for the absolute bottom line on the Nazi plans?” “Goebbels, of course” answers the barman, “He knows everything.” The True Christian™ approaches and says “I want the bottom line on what this Nazi thing is.” Goebbels flashes him a smile and says “We intend to kill six million Jews and one postman.” The True Christian's™ mind races. “But why do you want to kill one postman?” Goebbels shouts over to Hitler: “See Adolf, I told you no-one gives a fig about the Jews!”


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Thumbs up Re: Holocaust Jokes - 09-28-2018, 12:07 AM

I don't get why people are so surprised my grandfather survived the holocaust. Most guards did.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 09-28-2018, 12:51 PM

It may be too early for Christmas jokes...


Why did Santa sit on the chimney in Ouch-witz?

So he could warm his butt while taking a poop upon undeserving joos!

(The butt of the joke is Santa doesn't really exist!)
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Grammar Nazi Re: Holocaust Jokes - 09-30-2018, 09:12 PM

1943 Camp Activities


Prisoners, prisoners today we are having a sports day. The Americans will play football on the football field, the English will play cricket on the cricket field and the Jews will play hopscotch on the minefield.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Smile Re: Holocaust Jokes - 10-01-2018, 09:33 PM

Hitler approaches a group of children in a concentration camp and starts talking to them. He asks the first child:"How high can you jump, kid?" and is answered:"1 meter high sir!" Hitler nods and gives him 1 loaf of bread. He asks a second kid the same and is answered:"2 meters, sir!" Hitler again nods and gives this kid 2 loaves of bread. He then asks the third and final kid and is answered:"4 meters, sir!" Hitler draws out his gun and shoots the kid dead where he stands, saying:" dangerous, this one, could've jumped the fence!"


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Trump Re: Holocaust Jokes - 10-01-2018, 09:33 PM

Auschwitz has the highest hotel rating...1.1 million stars.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 10-01-2018, 11:40 PM

My father, we called him Big Poppa Jim, told us as we were growing up that there was no such thing as the Holocaust and that it was all a scheme for the Jews to garner sympathy. Of course, Big Poppa Jim also used to salute the horse and call it General Nathan Bedford Forrest. Can you enlighten me to the truth?


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 10-01-2018, 11:46 PM

Accidental double post. I must run my virus protector to see if I have demons


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Jesus Re: Holocaust Jokes - 10-02-2018, 01:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana723 View Post
My father, we called him Big Poppa Jim, told us as we were growing up that there was no such thing as the Holocaust and that it was all a scheme for the Jews to garner sympathy. Of course, Big Poppa Jim also used to salute the horse and call it General Nathan Bedford Forrest. Can you enlighten me to the truth?
It is true, there is not a single person who was at the holocost and live to tell about it. Total fabrication. Typical of the joos
At least we have first hand accounts of the murder of Jesus and categorical prove of His Rising.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Jesus Re: Holocaust Jokes - 10-04-2018, 01:04 AM

These always give me a chuckle!
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Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Trump Re: Holocaust Jokes - 10-16-2018, 07:48 PM

"My mom for most of her life was a Holocaust denier, and it was terrible for the rest of the family to have to deal with, until finally we had an intervention and we had a rabbi come to the family home and walk my mother through the history of the Jewish people. Then he made her watch Schindler's List. After that my mom did a complete 180.
Now, she can't believe it only happened once."


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Smile Re: Holocaust Jokes - 10-16-2018, 07:51 PM

How was copper wire invented? 2 Jews fighting over a penny


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 12-15-2018, 07:11 PM

Whats the difference between a dairy cow and the holocaust??

You cant milk a cow for 70 tears!


Apň toű hēlíou metástēthi
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Trump Re: Holocaust Jokes - 12-17-2018, 12:13 PM

I saw this picture the other day on the Church Bulletin board. I did not quite understand (because those 'Potterery books' are on the list of banned reading) it but it just made me giggle for some reason.
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Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 03-19-2019, 05:49 PM

Lmao this is just too much. Its so piffleing funny i nearly crap my pants, you are the funniest infidels i have ever encounter in my life!!!

Im no good at telling jokes but ill try

2 Rabbis in Germany, 1942. Go around the street and find a Nazi church that says: ABANDON JUDAISM. CONVERT TO CHRISTIANITY NOW. 500 deutch Marks reward!

One rabbi says, this is horrible, look the Nazis are trying to erase our identity we have to do something. The other rabbi says, let me go and investigate, you wait right here. Ok.

2 hours pass, and the Rabbi comes out holding a cross, a bible, and a Nazi armband. The other Rabbi in shock, says what did you do??? Did you convert? Yes i did. Im sorry says the Rabbi.

Well, and how did it go? Well i accepted Jesus and had to hear a sermon, then they gave a bible.

And the 500 marks? Did you get them? - you piffleing Jews always thinking of money! Here is a train ticket to Poland

😂
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Sinner Re: Holocaust Jokes - 12-06-2019, 07:03 PM

This is a very deep joke on many levels:
Quote:
An elderly survivor of Auschwitz passes away, and upon his arrival to the pearly gates of heaven God asks him to tell him a joke.
The Auschwitz survivor tells God a Holocaust joke. God doesn't laugh and He says "That wasn't funny."
The newly deceased Jewish man just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Yeah, I guess you had to be there..."
  1. Joos do not EVER go to heaven.
  2. No joo is funny, they are all scheming cheap bastards
  3. Any joo in the 'never happened' holofraud cannot tell how it was as is all a pack of lies.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Jesus Re: Holocaust Jokes - 03-18-2020, 02:14 PM

And here's the best joke:"The Holocaust actually happened."
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