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Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting.

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Exclamation Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 02-01-2011, 07:53 AM

SISTERS! I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES

Okay, after being stared at by Sister MM like I was speaking some foreign tongue when I gave her a tray of Nanaimo bars on Sunday, I decided to drop by the Des Moines library to pick up some real American cook books.

I am so sorry. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. All I wanted was good American Cookbooks so that I wouldn't show my Canadian shame.

Did you know there are witch and lesbian cookbooks? Why do lesbians and witches need cookbooks, don't their gay friends do all the cooking for them?

I came across the following titles, and it completely shocked me.



Those are just a few of the awful titles I saw. I am so glad that I didn't go through the steps of getting a Library card. I took as many of the books as I could up to the counter and THREW them at the lesbian there. I then started rebuking her and telling her that as hard as it must be for an old spinster like her LESBIANISM IS NOT THE ANSWER! I then pulled out my lighter and tried to burn the books, but a very large security guard grabbed me at that point and threw me out.

I was so shook up that I almost caused 3 accidents on the way home. Do the Lesbians have to get their filthy little fingers into ever part of society? I thought cooking and cleaning was below them, isn't that why they all smell like filthy hippies?

Seth properly rebuked me when I got home, and I deserved it. I thought I would surprise him with a completely authentic American meal, but failed completely. I should know better than to do such silly things without asking him first.


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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 02-02-2011, 12:48 AM

I find this cover despicable:



Obviously the nudity offends me, but I'm also outraged by the fact that the woman has fruit pressed against her milk bags. Am I supposed to want to eat a grape that's been touching a nipple? If this book becomes popular, woman everywhere will be smothering food with their chest muffins. I am positively nauseous.

Guys, wash your food to be on the safe side.
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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 02-02-2011, 12:56 AM

How many recipes for Catholic communion cookies does anyone need?


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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 02-02-2011, 01:37 AM

From the author of "sistah vegan" :

"In 1998, I earned a B.A. in Feminist Geography..."

ummm.....
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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 02-02-2011, 02:55 AM

I'm surprised none of these vile witches haven't put out a cookbook on how to cook babies.

I hope everyone who reads this thread says a prayer out loud to rid themselves of the demons who have more than likely attached themselves to those pictures on those disgusting cookbooks.

You know demons can seep through your screen or come out of your device drives and straight in to your home!




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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 02-03-2011, 07:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nathan B. Forrest View Post
From the author of "sistah vegan" :

"In 1998, I earned a B.A. in Feminist Geography..."

ummm.....
I'm new here, so I hope it's OK for me to comment. How can there be Feminist geography? That doesn't even make sense. Does she think countries move to somewhere else if you're a feminist??


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Mark 10:15
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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 02-03-2011, 08:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelaT View Post
Originally Posted by Nathan B. Forrest
From the author of "sistah vegan" :

"In 1998, I earned a B.A. in Feminist Geography..."

ummm.....

I'm new here, so I hope it's OK for me to comment. How can there be Feminist geography? That doesn't even make sense. Does she think countries move to somewhere else if you're a feminist??
One of the sub-disciplines of feminist geography is Queer Theory. Feminist geography is actually a legitimate study. It involves the effects women have on culture and geography. Most classes on geography are taught 99.99999% incorrectly. Properly taught, it can be a very interesting subject. Most of the people who developed feminist geography have weird French names, so that should tell you something.

I won't repeat those names in polite company.


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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 02-02-2011, 03:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
I find this cover despicable:



Obviously the nudity offends me, but I'm also outraged by the fact that the woman has fruit pressed against her milk bags. Am I supposed to want to eat a grape that's been touching a nipple? If this book becomes popular, woman everywhere will be smothering food with their chest muffins. I am positively nauseous.

Guys, wash your food to be on the safe side.
Actually brother, I don't think you're supposed to eat the grapes. I believe that these whores only cook for other whores. It's sickening.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
I'm surprised none of these vile witches haven't put out a cookbook on how to cook babies.

I hope everyone who viewed reads this thread says a prayer out loud to rid themselves of the demons who have more than likely attached themselves to those pictures on those disgusting cookbooks.

You know demons can seep through your screen or come out of your device drives and straight in to your home!
Perhaps the recipes are in there, I didn't actually open the books to look.


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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 05-11-2013, 06:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
Obviously the nudity offends me, but I'm also outraged by the fact that the woman has fruit pressed against her milk bags. Am I supposed to want to eat a grape that's been touching a nipple? If this book becomes popular, woman everywhere will be smothering food with their chest muffins. I am positively nauseous.

Guys, wash your food to be on the safe side.

Gen 2:25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame

Isaiah 20:2 God told Isaiah son of Amoz, "Go, take off your clothes and sandals," and Isaiah did it, going about naked and barefooted.

Job 1:21 Naked I came from my mother's womb, naked I'll return to the womb of the earth. God gives, God takes. God's name be ever blessed.
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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 05-11-2013, 06:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ELLOELLO View Post
...Job 1:21 Naked I came from my mother's womb, naked I'll return to the womb of the earth. God gives, God takes. God's name be ever blessed.
You see, this illustrates the problem with using the wrong Bible. In the King James, that verse reads thusly:

Job 1:21 "And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return thither: The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord."

It says nothing about returning to the "womb of the earth". That's just disgusting.



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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 05-11-2013, 09:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ELLOELLO View Post
Gen 2:25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame
I really really hate it when people deliberately quote Holy Scripture out of context. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Anyone, even a blind deaf child of 2 years old, knows that this was before Eve broke God's rules for which all women still get a well deserved punishment each and every day.

Genesis 3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.


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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 02-22-2011, 03:25 AM

The witchcraft is on the rise!



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 02-24-2011, 02:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
The witchcraft is on the rise!

Liebrals shock me with how lazy they are. Stirring is too much work now? I'm amazed they're not all on respirators, considering how hard breathing is.


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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 02-01-2013, 08:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
Liebrals shock me with how lazy they are. Stirring is too much work now? I'm amazed they're not all on respirators, considering how hard breathing is.
Actually that's a pretty cool piece of machinery
Sure it's lazy
But the way it works I very interesting


Rom.1:26-27
For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 02-01-2013, 11:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Onthedo View Post
Actually that's a pretty cool piece of machinery
Sure it's lazy
But the way it works I very interesting
You necroposted a thread that's almost 2 years old just to say that you're too lazy to stir a pot?

No wonder your "boyfriend/husband/fiancee/whatever" does all the cooking. Tell me, are the buttons on the microwave hard to push?


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Onthedope Onthedope is offline
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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 02-02-2013, 01:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
You necroposted a thread that's almost 2 years old just to say that you're too lazy to stir a pot?

No wonder your "boyfriend/husband/fiancee/whatever" does all the cooking. Tell me, are the buttons on the microwave hard to push?
Sorry but it one of the first post they show you when you click on the link (cool)
I know it's lazy I would never buy one to use it
I'm interested in mechanics so I find it pretty cool how it works
Oh by the way my fiancé is training to be a chef so of corse he's the better cook


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For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
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Malencia Malencia is offline
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Default Re: Witch in the KITCHEN!!!!! - 02-07-2013, 10:59 PM

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Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post


These look interesting... haven't found them at my local library though...
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