[Johny Joe Hold]

It has always been exasperating to me that we, the USA, do not own the entire North American Continent. North of us sits a country with a puny army and billions of dollars of natural resources. It has sand oil, lumber, water and open prairie. We could use all of that to make the USA even greater.

Sometimes when I'm working late at night in the Mayor's office my mind goes into overdrive about how great the USA could be if only things were as they should be. Owning Canada is something we need to consider.

Back in history, some empires grew large without armed invasions of lesser countries. They did it through marriage. A son and daughter of two different leaders married and just like that two countries became one.

It appears to me reelection of President Trump is a certainty. And, once this happens people will no longer want to subject him to all the criticism and time involved in another election. He will lead our country as long as he wants to. So, the real question is who among his children will follow him. The answer is his youngest son, Barron.

Looking north at Canada, Prime Minister Trudeau may have noted his daughter, Ella Grace Margaret Trudeau, is about the same age as Barron. Trudeau no doubt would be pleased to have his daughter marry up into wealth and power. A marriage to Barren would set up the Trudeau family for generations and eliminate Canada.

The new country would be called North America with President for life, Barron Trump.

[handmaiden]

But. . .Do we really want Canada?

Oh, I get the natural resources thing. Still, we would have to deal with a certain number of Canadians. That makes the whole acquisition seem like more trouble than it is worth.


They are also used to having free health care. This means that they clearly have not been taking care of themselves. We would have lots of blobby, front-tooth missing people ('cause of all the hockey) with weird accents running around.


The idea does not appeal.

[Alvin Moss]

Mr. Mayor, it would be nice to have Canada as a large park for hunting, fishing, plundering archaeological sites and the like, but would we have to take the godless Canadians? Clearly, it would take only a phone call or even a text message from President Trump announcing that Canada was dissolved and there would be an orderly transfer, but I fear the price of accepting millions of drunken Canadians and Eskimos is a might high. If we are going to fill up the country with foreigners, I'd just as soon stick with the Mexicans. At least you can get a good days work out of them if you watch them.

[Isabella White]

Well, one thing is for certain, dear Brother Mayor Hold, and it's that if we, the blessed citizens of the , should ever take over Canada, at least it would mean the end of that girly-man Prime Minister that they have up there. Why, just look at the state of him, with his disgraceful, long, flowing locks:



Clearly, that -bound rebel is ignoring the very important and most implicit instructions that are found within the glorious :

I Corinthians 11:14 "Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?"

Oh, and did I mention aesthetic damages to the environment? If that Prime Minister wants to improve the status of his country, he could start by getting that mop cut off, and then by wearing his hair in a style that is befitting that of a truly great leader:



And, that's just for starters. I'm not so sure we would even want those Canadians being part of our beloved , breathing beer and maple syrup all over the place, especially when they have these low-life types running around:

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Originally Posted by Alvin Moss

Mr. Mayor, it would be nice to have Canada as a large park for hunting, fishing, plundering archaeological sites and the like

They have archaeological sites in Canada?

[Alvin Moss]

Originally Posted by DominiqueDomgaard

Here's an appealing idea. Send the Canadians on a one-way trip to summer camp!




Why should Trump stop at Canada? He once made a tender offer to purchase Greenland, foolishly turned down by our kingdom here.


We need to unite as a One World under Trump, and rename the planet after him. He will build a beautiful firmament around us to protect us from incoming demons.

Donald Trump is a great President, but to suggest he has the power of God and he can do God's work is blasphemy. He only works for God. It is the Lord who does all the heavy lifting. Also, you seem to have bought in to the fallacy of space travel and outer space aliens. That is nonsense. Demons come for the lower regions, down yonder in Hell, not from the firmaments. I believe that isolation in the snowy regions has loosened the screws holding your head together.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Originally Posted by handmaiden

But. . .Do we really want Canada?

Oh, I get the natural resources thing. Still, we would have to deal with a certain number of Canadians. That makes the whole acquisition seem like more trouble than it is worth.

. . .

Now that just strikes at the heart of the matter - and no one else does either. Not even the British would lift a finger - and no doubt would be met with spontaneous laughter.

As far as the resources are concerned, with our horizontal drilling technology we could suck all that oil and gas right out from under them and they would never notice. They're all a bunch of "Greenies" anyway and have no intention of using it.

The major problem is that Canada is slowly becoming a shithole country and at some point we'll be faceed with masses of them crossing the border into our country. From what I can tell we already have around 70,000 illegal Canadians here already.

Inevitably we're going to have to do something as building a border wall will be prohibitively expensive, but I'm loathe to contemplate an arranged marriage to a French family - notorious, among other things, for their legendary bathing habits.

I would be more inclined to propose some good old-fashioned colonialism, with perhaps Ann Coulter being appointed as governor. The Canadian "democracy" is a joke anyway, but we could allow them to keep Justin Trudeau for entertainment purposes - along with their beer drinking and hockey.