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Default Largest Revival History Will Be Headlined by Our Pastor Zeke - 01-04-2020, 07:24 PM

There has been a lot of hype recently about what is being called the largest revival in history. It will cover several countries and is expected to convert millions to Jesus.

The question not answered in all this publicity is who will be the star preacher? Who can be given the responsibility to carry this event home to victory for Jesus?

I've just learned that preacher is none other than our own Pastor Zeke. This is exciting news because it means we at Landover Baptist will have a voice in how the event is run. Perhaps Pastor Zeke himself will have a moment sometime to stop in here and comment on this honor. (I've also heard some lesser celebrity preachers might be invited.) In the meantime, here is what I have learned about it:

https://www.christianpost.com/news/l...-for-2020.html
Largest Christian outreach event in history planned for 2020



Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Largest Revival History Will Be Headlined by Our Pastor Zeke - 01-04-2020, 08:07 PM

History proves that sending rich white Christians to Africa - or preferably sending others - helps save the backward savages from themselves. Will Pastor Zeke be soliciting additional tithes to support his mission? I hope the airplane is ready in time.
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Default Re: Largest Revival History Will Be Headlined by Our Pastor Zeke - 01-04-2020, 08:13 PM

It would be a great victory indeed if Pastor Zeke and his helpers could bring the backward, spirit worshipping Negroes of Africa to Jesus, but I fear this may be an expensive crusade. They don't expect us to pay for it, do they?


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Default Re: Largest Revival History Will Be Headlined by Our Pastor Zeke - 01-04-2020, 08:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
It would be a great victory indeed if Pastor Zeke and his helpers could bring the backward, spirit worshipping Negroes of Africa to Jesus, but I fear this may be an expensive crusade. They don't expect us to pay for it, do they?
One of Pastor Zeke many talents is locating original copies of the Bible. These are pieces of papyrus. He buys them in these countries and sells them to the Green family of the famous Hobby Lobby chain of stores.

The Green family then puts them on display in their Bible Museum in Washington, DC. I've heard Pastor Zeke buys these bits of Bible cheaply from illiterate natives but charges a higher price to the Green family and this pays for his travels.




Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Largest Revival History Will Be Headlined by Our Pastor Zeke - 01-04-2020, 09:06 PM

This is perfectly wonderful news, Brother Mr Mayor, Sir! As soon as dates and locations are confirmed, could you be sure to let the Ladies' Committee know? We will have to base our mass-catering on locally available ingredients, and it would be helpful to have some advance warning in case we need to find out what fufu is, exactly, and how (if possible) to make it palatable. Also, Sister Mitza will need some indication of local fashions, so that she can make sure that we are appropriately dressed.


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Default Re: Largest Revival History Will Be Headlined by Our Pastor Zeke - 01-04-2020, 10:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
History proves that sending rich white Christians to Africa - or preferably sending others - helps save the backward savages from themselves.
Oh, goodness, yes, dear Dr. Toole, and that's the way it should be. Whenever possible, the evangelist should travel there, according to the command from our blessed .

Mark 16:15 "And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature."

We should all give thanks to Almighty for that very clear instruction from the Book of Mark. Clearly, the knows this method is preferable than having those native people invading our glorious . I mean, don't we have more than enough nigras here already?

A blessed day to you, Dear,
Sincerely, Isabella W.




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