Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES!
Reload this Page Making contact with Christian Girls
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Brother John Brother John is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 232
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hellgium
Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.
Default Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-02-2007, 10:22 PM

Dear all,

I have an issue I'd like to discuss with you.
Is there a probate way to determine whether or not a girl is a good Christian or not?

Here's the story: there's a girl in my class, whom I've taken a liking to. We get along fairly well, but I haven't had the chance or opportunity to figure out or ask her about her beliefs. I'm fairly shy about asking these kinds of things too, so "just ask" doesn't exactly suffice. Could Landover help me ensure that I choose a good Christian for a good, Christian relationship? She's friendly and caring, all traits of a good Christian woman, but I'd like to make sure.

Thank you all in advance.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Abdul-Khaaliq's Avatar
Abdul-Khaaliq Abdul-Khaaliq is offline
Deranged moon-worshipping terrorist.
 
 
Posts: 80
Join Date: Feb 2007
Abdul-Khaaliq is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Abdul-Khaaliq is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Abdul-Khaaliq is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-02-2007, 10:28 PM

I find this thing for you good Christian fellow.
I have much experience with many many Blonde Blue eyed Christian Lady.
You tell me her phone number, yes?
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-02-2007, 11:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apollyon View Post
Dear all,

I have an issue I'd like to discuss with you.
Is there a probate way to determine whether or not a girl is a good Christian or not?

Here's the story: there's a girl in my class, whom I've taken a liking to. We get along fairly well, but I haven't had the chance or opportunity to figure out or ask her about her beliefs. I'm fairly shy about asking these kinds of things too, so "just ask" doesn't exactly suffice. Could Landover help me ensure that I choose a good Christian for a good, Christian relationship? She's friendly and caring, all traits of a good Christian woman, but I'd like to make sure.

Thank you all in advance.
You might want to go for the direct approach: just stroll up to her and casually ask if she has turned her life over to Jesus and been washed in His blood. But if you're the shy type, that might seem a little forward, so you could try being a little more discreet; maybe you could casually start up a conversation with her, find out if she's free, and ask if she wants to go throw rocks at some Jews or Catholics. If she's up for it, she's almost certainly a Christian, if not, she's not worth bothering about anyway.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Mrs. Mary Whitford's Avatar
Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
Ladies of Landover Senior VP
One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™

Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Platinum Tither Ribfest '07 True Christian Homemaker Ex-Mary Worshipper Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Friend of Jesus Most Obedient Mrs. Sarah Palin Lady of the Year 2010 Flat Earth Mission to Australia Mama Grizzly Persecuted Pro-Life The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Batman Shooting Survivor Guns, Guts and GLORY! Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer Home Schooled Jailed for JESUS Paula Deen Negro Support Group Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 12,663
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-02-2007, 11:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apollyon View Post
Dear all,

I have an issue I'd like to discuss with you.
Is there a probate way to determine whether or not a girl is a good Christian or not?

Here's the story: there's a girl in my class, whom I've taken a liking to. We get along fairly well, but I haven't had the chance or opportunity to figure out or ask her about her beliefs. I'm fairly shy about asking these kinds of things too, so "just ask" doesn't exactly suffice. Could Landover help me ensure that I choose a good Christian for a good, Christian relationship? She's friendly and caring, all traits of a good Christian woman, but I'd like to make sure.

Thank you all in advance.
I'm concerned that she's still in school. Beyond reading, writing, arithmatic, Bible study, and home economics, what else is there that she needs to know?


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Talitha's Avatar
Talitha Talitha is offline
Deaconess
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Real American™ Gunfest '08 Cleanest Kitchen Platinum Tither True Christian Lady True Christian Provider™ award Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Long service medal, 2nd class Early riser Touched by Jesus Donald Trump 2016! Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-02-2007, 11:50 PM

Get her tested out at the Clinic.
Make sure she's able to have at least a dozen little Christian Soldiers for you.
Oh, and make sure she bakes a good Apple Pie.
Can she shoot? A good Christian woman has to be handle at least a Pump-action.
Has she ever been to bed with a non-white male? Tainted Women are frowned upon here at Landover.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-02-2007, 11:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
Has she ever been to bed with a non-white male? Tainted Women are frowned upon here at Landover.
Have you been infected by liberalism or something? If she has ever been to bed with any male, she is clearly not a Christian in any sense of the word. And if she's been to bed with a female, well, that doesn't even bear thinking about.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Talitha's Avatar
Talitha Talitha is offline
Deaconess
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Real American™ Gunfest '08 Cleanest Kitchen Platinum Tither True Christian Lady True Christian Provider™ award Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Long service medal, 2nd class Early riser Touched by Jesus Donald Trump 2016! Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-03-2007, 12:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Have you been infected by liberalism or something? If she has ever been to bed with any male, she is clearly not a Christian in any sense of the word. And if she's been to bed with a female, well, that doesn't even bear thinking about.
Apologies Pastor. With all these Atheists and Sand Negras hanging around I'm getting so confused.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Brother John Brother John is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 232
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hellgium
Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-03-2007, 12:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
Has she ever been to bed with a non-white male? Tainted Women are frowned upon here at Landover.
Now, I wouldn't take a liking to her if I knew that, now would I.
Thank you Brother Temperance, I will surely try asking her that, or something alike depending on the facilities present at or around school.
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-03-2007, 12:39 AM

Son, most worthy True Christians™ females are home schooled.

I'd be looking for a bride at the Landover Baptist Church and not at your secular school.

Beside the only skills she needs are cooking, cleaning, obeying your orders and making new Soliders For Christ.

She doesn't need to learn reading, writing and math. She is a girl for GOD's sake.

With Lve, Sister Thumper




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Brother John Brother John is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 232
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hellgium
Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-03-2007, 12:42 AM

I know Sister, but there simply aren't many True Christians around where I live, if there are any at all. My best guess is to try and convert someone who seems fit for the cause.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Mrs. Mary Whitford's Avatar
Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
Ladies of Landover Senior VP
One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™

Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Platinum Tither Ribfest '07 True Christian Homemaker Ex-Mary Worshipper Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Friend of Jesus Most Obedient Mrs. Sarah Palin Lady of the Year 2010 Flat Earth Mission to Australia Mama Grizzly Persecuted Pro-Life The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Batman Shooting Survivor Guns, Guts and GLORY! Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer Home Schooled Jailed for JESUS Paula Deen Negro Support Group Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 12,663
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-03-2007, 01:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
She doesn't need to learn reading, writing and math. She is a girl for GOD's sake.
I have to disagree with you, Sister. Those of us blessed enough to be able to afford servants need to be kept busy in between Bible lessons from our Godly husbands, and the best way to do that is by reading and studying the Bible. Those who aren't so blessed have to do their grocery shopping themselves, so they should know some basic words and numbers so they have some idea of what they're doing.


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 79,856
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-03-2007, 12:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apollyon View Post
I know Sister, but there simply aren't many True Christians around where I live, if there are any at all. My best guess is to try and convert someone who seems fit for the cause.
I'd suggest you take her on a "Bible date". Buy her a copy of the KJV1611 Bible and read some scripture with her. See how she feels about these:


Genesis 3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

1 Corinthians 11:3
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

1 Corinthians 14:34-36
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Colossians 3:18
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

1 Timothy 2:11-15
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.

1 Peter 3:1
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Brother John Brother John is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 232
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hellgium
Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.Brother John has had a couple of people click the rep button.
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-08-2007, 10:51 PM

Huzzah, I've managed to acquire her e-mail address! Now I can probe about her beliefs in a non-suspicious (not that the True Faith is something to conceal) way!
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
OnYourKnees's Avatar
OnYourKnees OnYourKnees is offline
On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
 
Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-08-2007, 11:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother John View Post
Huzzah, I've managed to acquire her e-mail address! Now I can probe about her beliefs in a non-suspicious (not that the True Faith is something to conceal) way!
Congratulations!

Just be gentle in your probing, and go slowly. You don't want to bruise her psyche!
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
R-R-R's Avatar
R-R-R R-R-R is offline
Rebuked-Repented-Reborn
Forum Member
 
Posts: 183
Join Date: Mar 2007
R-R-R is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-08-2007, 11:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
Has she ever been to bed with a non-white male?
Good thing Brother Temperance posted right after your post, because even I, the unsaved trash, noticed something was fishy there. Goes to show I payed some attention to what's being said around here and I'm making a bit of progress. Of course I cannot hope to be as Godly as the pastors here, but at least I'm facing the direction I need to head in towards Jesus.


John 20:29
Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.

Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Larry Lee's Avatar
Larry Lee Larry Lee is offline
Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither Saved 10 Years Real American™ Ribfest '02 Christian Love Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican

 
Posts: 4,371
Join Date: Sep 2006
Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-08-2007, 11:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother John View Post
Huzzah, I've managed to acquire her e-mail address! Now I can probe about her beliefs in a non-suspicious (not that the True Faith is something to conceal) way!
Very good, you're making progress. I encourage you to follow Brother Knees advice, in general, and Brother Zeke's advice, specifically. Use that e-mail to your advantage and probe her enthusiasm for the scripture Brother Zeke outlined. And Good Luck!

However, I must be frank with you. Many of us are legitimately concerned about this "education" thing she has. We shake our heads and know that "education" is often a synonym for "Godless harlot." and yet .... you, being youthful, you need to learn these things for yourself.

May I offer a suggestion? That lovely, smiling girl, who you're evaluating for her marriage potential, you really need to test her and see if her love for the Lord is strong and pure – or only subterfuge to ensnare a Godly man, such as yourself. The best thing for you to do is to bring her to Sunday Evening Services, and then afterward, take the long way home, down by the reservoir where nobody ever goes. Find a place to park and then hop into the back seat where you know it's nice and dark. Test that girl with everything you've got. If she's like the other "educated" ones who we've seen, you'll soon be just about to groove and naked as the breeze … At which point you'll know she's totally unfit for marriage, but hey – just so long as there's not a light in your eye and then a guy says "Out of the car, long hair!" – Go for it, because if you don't, we'll all think you're a John Edwards.


Newt

I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
R-R-R's Avatar
R-R-R R-R-R is offline
Rebuked-Repented-Reborn
Forum Member
 
Posts: 183
Join Date: Mar 2007
R-R-R is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-09-2007, 12:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee View Post
you really need to test her and see if her love for the Lord is strong and pure
I do have a question though. In Luke 14:26 we are required to hate our parents, but does this apply to our partners as well? Do husbands need to hate their wives in order to be Jesus' desciple? Because if this is the case, there would be no need to pay attention to a girl's attractiveness and such, but merely her love for the Lord and of course her ability to cook and help bring more True Cristians into the world.


John 20:29
Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.

Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 79,856
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-09-2007, 02:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by R-R-R View Post
I do have a question though. In Luke 14:26 we are required to hate our parents, but does this apply to our partners as well? Do husbands need to hate their wives in order to be Jesus' desciple? Because if this is the case, there would be no need to pay attention to a girl's attractiveness and such, but merely her love for the Lord and of course her ability to cook and help bring more True Cristians into the world.
I know of no reason why you shouldn't hate your wife. Jesus tells us to "subjugate" them (1 Peter 3:1), and God has cursed them (Genesis 3:16)for eating that apple and listening to satan (a talking snake at that time). Also it is a well-known fact that women hold men back in many things.

We are commanded to love Jesus above everyone else, so I guess go ahead and hate your wife.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
jalmquist (On Moderation) jalmquist is offline
Foul Sinner on Moderation
 
Posts: 18
Join Date: Mar 2007
jalmquist is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-14-2007, 04:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
You might want to go for the direct approach: just stroll up to her and casually ask if she has turned her life over to Jesus and been washed in His blood. But if you're the shy type, that might seem a little forward, so you could try being a little more discreet; maybe you could casually start up a conversation with her, find out if she's free, and ask if she wants to go throw rocks at some Jews or Catholics. If she's up for it, she's almost certainly a Christian, if not, she's not worth bothering about anyway.
, Im using that as my next pickup line at the hookah bar;

Me: "Hey babe, whats your name?"
Girl: "[Insert Name Here]"
Me: "Im James"
Girl: "Hi James"
Me: "So... have you ever been washed by the blood of Christ?"
Girl: "Pause"
Me: "Pause"
Girl: "Pause"
Me: "20$..? My car, 20minutes from now"
Girl: " Thats more like it"
Me: "[Thought] Ahh that one always works"
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
OnYourKnees's Avatar
OnYourKnees OnYourKnees is offline
On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
 
Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Making contact with Christian Girls - 03-14-2007, 04:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jalmquist View Post
, Im using that as my next pickup line at the hookah bar;

Me: "Hey babe, whats your name?"
Girl: "[Insert Name Here]"
Me: "Im James"
Girl: "Hi James"
Me: "So... have you ever been washed by the blood of Christ?"
Girl: "Pause"
Me: "Pause"
Girl: "Pause"
Me: "20$..? My car, 20minutes from now"
Girl: " Thats more like it"
Me: "[Thought] Ahh that one always works"
Um, that's not likely a Christian girl.

But thanks for advertising to us that you can't get a date without paying. See what a winner you are without Christ?
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved