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Default Seven Foot People are not Welcome at Landover Baptist - 07-03-2022, 01:05 AM

A time of two I have introduced very tall people I know through the Mayor's Office to Pastor Zeke. I noticed he was quite cool to them.

Today in my Bible reading time I happened on 1 Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him:

Now I understand Pastor Zeke's coolness. He knew God rejects tall people. Besides that, seven-foot-tall people look like freaks. They are no different than people without arms and legs.



Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Seven Foot People are not Welcome at Landover Baptist - 07-03-2022, 02:32 AM

Thank. God.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Seven Foot People are not Welcome at Landover Baptist - 07-03-2022, 03:18 AM

King David once faced the giant Philistine Goliath, who was six cubits and a span tall (1 Samuel 17:4). His response was to sling a stone at his forehead (1 Samuel 17:49), which killed the giant to death and caused him to fall over dead without David ever having to draw his sword (1 Samuel 17:50). He then went over to the giant, who was still alive, then drew his sword and killed him with it, then took the head as a trophy (1 Samuel 17:51).

The lesson here is that God doesn't like giants any more than he likes midgets (Leviticus 21:20). He created man in His own image (Genesis 1:27), so those taller or shorter than the average are deviants and freaks destined for the lake of fire for mocking Him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
I understand that one of these boys eventually played for the NBA. Obviously, it was #25.


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Default Re: Seven Foot People are not Welcome at Landover Baptist - 07-03-2022, 06:38 AM

Interesting to read giants must be slewen twice. Tricky beasts they are indeed.


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Default Re: Seven Foot People are not Welcome at Landover Baptist - 07-03-2022, 06:09 PM

Anyone who has seven feet is a monster, an abomination. If you have more or less than two feet, you are of the devil, and you are not welcome at Landover Baptist Church.


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Trump Re: Seven Foot People are not Welcome at Landover Baptist - 07-04-2022, 01:41 PM

Well, thank Goodness that the restriction is for a height of seven feet, and above that. What a blessed relief to know that this will not apply to dear Barron Trump when he visits !
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Default Re: Seven Foot People are not Welcome at Landover Baptist - 07-04-2022, 01:52 PM

Thank you for alerting us to Baron, Sister Isabella. I'm calling Baron 6'5", well below the freak height. What is your estimate?


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Trump Re: Seven Foot People are not Welcome at Landover Baptist - 07-04-2022, 02:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Thank you for alerting us to Baron, Sister Isabella. I'm calling Baron 6'5", well below the freak height. What is your estimate?
Oh, you are just as welcome as welcome can be, your dear Mayorship. Well, according to our beloved Donald Trump, young Barron is 6'7" (as noted in an article from 2021):

Quote:
Last month, former President Donald Trump told the crowd at the North Carolina GOP convention that Barron is now 6-foot-7 inches tall, meaning that he stands taller than his mother, father, and all of his older half-siblings.
Goodness gracious! Dear Melania is certainly not afraid to flash the cash if she can tote around an $11,000 purse!

Quote:
The teenager held his mother's vintage limited edition Louis Vuitton x Richard Prince bag, which cost $3,995 when it was released in 2008, while Melania was seen carrying an $11,000 black Hermes Birkin bag.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...546&ai=9766881




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Default Re: Seven Foot People are not Welcome at Landover Baptist - 07-04-2022, 02:03 PM

Why the hell is little big Barron hugging on chinks and carrying a purse? I never liked that Slav anchor baby much anyway.


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Default Re: Seven Foot People are not Welcome at Landover Baptist - 07-04-2022, 02:37 PM

I do find myself wondering--what has she been feeding him?


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Guns Re: Seven Foot People are not Welcome at Landover Baptist - 07-04-2022, 02:50 PM

I'm only 6'6" and I'd be mighty upset if some freak of nature was not only in Church but sitting in front of me, obscuring the glow from Pastor Ezekiel Flint during one of His life changing sermons.


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Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Trump Re: Seven Foot People are not Welcome at Landover Baptist - 07-04-2022, 03:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
I do find myself wondering--what has she been feeding him?
Oh, I shouldn't worry, dear Sister Handmaiden. I'm sure that Mrs. Trump is doing her very best to see that her young son is following a well-balanced, nutritional diet. Barron is most likely just following in his father's footsteps and enjoying finer, gourmet-style foods, as you shall see here:



And, here:



Here, as well:



And, then, there is this:



And, this!





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Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Seven Foot People are not Welcome at Landover Baptist - 07-05-2022, 09:23 PM

Some of these huge people are just plain ugly. Take Andre the Giant. If he had attended Landover Baptist he would have been the ugliest person in the entire church:



Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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