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The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED!

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Default Re: Immortal - 07-02-2007, 06:25 AM

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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
By posting your poems here, you aren't just asking for it, you're BEGGING for it.
She's got a point.
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Default Re: Immortal - 07-02-2007, 10:29 PM

Eh, the poem was an experiment. I will admit, I've written better. I was the sophmore editor for our school literary magezine last year....
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Default Re: Immortal - 07-02-2007, 10:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind leading the blind View Post
Eh, the poem was an experiment. I will admit, I've written better. I was the sophmore editor for our school literary magezine last year....
Can't you mention Jesus at least 10 or 12 times in your Poetry?
That way we can applaud your attempts and if you can meet certain other criteria you may even find Eternal Salvation.
Or not.



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being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: Immortal - 07-02-2007, 11:52 PM

I've done that, and you wouldn't like it. Poems I wrote when my father was in the hospital for a heart attack that I had predictied. No one listened to me when I said what I saw. Havn't had a vision like that one since.
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Default Re: Immortal - 07-03-2007, 12:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind leading the blind View Post
Eh, the poem was an experiment. I will admit, I've written better. I was the sophmore (sophomore) editor for our school literary magezine (magazine) last year....
"Magezine"? Ooooo honey, they musta had really low standards if they hadchoo writin' up in there when you's not even able to spell what it is you be writin' in! They pro'lly woulda been betta off if I'd been writin' that thang!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind leading the blind View Post
I've done that, and you wouldn't like it. Poems I wrote when my father was in the hospital for a heart attack that I had predictied. No one listened to me when I said what I saw. Havn't had a vision like that one since.
No doubt that had been the LORD showin' you what would happen if you continued in yo sins. Look what happened because you din't turn yo life ovah to Him!


"He went on CNN and he laughed at us, and he said, 'They'll never get me because Allah will protect me. Allah will protect me.' Well, you know what? I knew that my God was bigger than his. I knew that my God was a real God and his was an idol." - Lt. General William G. Boykin
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Default Re: Immortal - 07-03-2007, 12:32 AM

1)Thank you for pointing those misspellings out. I knew I had it right the first time.
2)Yes, I really have it bad now! My father's alive, my mother stopped smoking, I shall never smoke as long as I live, my brother and I have realized how much like him I am and have decied not to hate each other, I have loving friends, a roof over my head, clothes and food to live on.
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Default Re: Immortal - 07-06-2007, 05:38 AM

Awesome poem buddy, keep it up.


A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
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Default Re: Immortal - 07-06-2007, 05:55 PM

Don't listen to those bible thumpers, your poetry is awesome.


A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
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Default Re: Immortal - 07-11-2007, 12:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind leading the blind View Post
I've done that, and you wouldn't like it. Poems I wrote when my father was in the hospital for a heart attack that I had predictied.
If you're going to make attempts on your dad's life, it's probably not a good idea to signpost it like that.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Immortal - 07-11-2007, 12:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ixi View Post
Don't listen to those bible thumpers, your poetry is awesome.
Uh, I'm no bible-thumper, but I'd be lying if I said that was awesome. Not to be mean, just honest.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: Immortal - 07-11-2007, 08:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
If you're going to make attempts on your dad's life, it's probably not a good idea to signpost it like that.
Pastor, how is FORSEEING something that will happen making an attempt on someone's life. I was crying for days afterward, mainly because I love my father and would never do anything to harm him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ixi View Post
Awesome poem buddy, keep it up.
Thank you, Ixi, for the encouragement. Like I've said, it's not my best. It was late and I was listening to a song over and over.
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Default Re: Immortal - 07-12-2007, 09:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind leading the blind View Post
Pastor, how is FORSEEING something that will happen making an attempt on someone's life. I was crying for days afterward, mainly because I love my father and would never do anything to harm him.
You're not fooling anyone. If an Italian came round your house and started making comments about how nice it was, and how it'd a shame if anything happened to it, would you think he was just making idle small talk? Let's take another example: I foresee you're about to recieve a bundle of infraction points. Let's see what happens next.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Immortal - 07-24-2007, 01:12 AM

OK, look BT, I had a dream that something was going to happen to my father and tried to warn my family and no one listened. This happened 5 years ago and he has since recovered nicely. Still won't stop smoking though....
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Default Re: Immortal - 07-24-2007, 01:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind leading the blind View Post
OK, look BT, I had a dream that something was going to happen to my father and tried to warn my family and no one listened. This happened 5 years ago and he has since recovered nicely. Still won't stop smoking though....
Then Jesus was probably trying to give you a warning to give up your furry ways and accept Him. And you didn't listen, did you? Will you have to wait for Jesus to kill your dad before you become a Christian?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Immortal - 07-24-2007, 04:44 PM

I was a devout Christian when that happened and had none of the knowledge that i have now. It's funny how we find our true paths sometimes.
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Default Re: Immortal - 10-18-2007, 08:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind leading the blind View Post
For all that's been,
For all I've loved.
You won't let me fall.
Love so unconditional,
Love so profound.

You know me. You see
Me. You see right through
Me. You stand before me.
You protect me. You spread
Your wings, and help me fly!

They can't kill me. You're
Immortal. They can't hurt
Me. You're immortal. They
Can't touch me. You're
Immortal!
~Guardian of the Blind.
Probably not my best. I'm still taking writing classes.
I just love the word "immortal". It just says so much in the right context.

When I come to a poem I have not read before I make a point to skip all of the previous commentary.

I don't read the commentary until ten minutes after posting.

Then it's too late for me to revise my posting (and lie) about the poem.

So here's my pure reaction:

-the poem is basically pretty blessed good.
-it has good (ironic) line breaks.
-it's not profound, but then, I don't expect you to see that, you being limited to reading braille bumps and all that.;
or rather, your being banned from this place by now, it seems.


Crits:

-L2 has a period. It should not have a period.
-Capping all your line-starts gives the poem a poesy-look that today is out of style.

Let me illustrate some suggestions?

See what you think? (more blind staggers humor!)

Let's put God to the fore, shall we? Strophe #1 sets the stage
then your speech turns confessional to Him.
Let's quit the line-end commas, using only semi-colons to denote longer pauses.
Line breaks can serve just fine as comma/pauses.




For all I've loved
He won't let me fall;
love so unconditional
love so well-propounded.

God You know me. You see
me; you see right through
me. You stand before me.
You protect me spreading
wings to fly me.

They can't kill me. You're
immortal; they can't hurt
me, immortal too. Thank
You for that. You can touch
me, You're my God!



-----



hth
your PP
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Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
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Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Immortal - 10-18-2007, 11:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
When I come to a poem I have not read before I make a point to skip all of the previous commentary.

I don't read the commentary until ten minutes after posting.

Then it's too late for me to revise my posting (and lie) about the poem.

So here's my pure reaction:

-the poem is basically pretty blessed good.
-it has good (ironic) line breaks.
-it's not profound, but then, I don't expect you to see that, you being limited to reading braille bumps and all that.;
or rather, your being banned from this place by now, it seems.
No, despite her numerous provocations, we continue to tolerate the hate-filled goth, in the hope that eventually Jesus' love will bring her to abandon her addictions to firewater and Japanese tentacle pornography and get Saved! Hallelujah!


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Blind leading the blind's Avatar
Blind leading the blind (On Moderation) Blind leading the blind is offline
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Filthy demon-possessed minion of Satan
using different names.
Aka: AncientFireRisen, etc, put on moderation
at first sign of demons manifesting themselves
Foul Sinner on Moderation
 
Posts: 240
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Location: classified....and away from Kira
Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Blind leading the blind is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Immortal - 11-06-2007, 01:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
When I come to a poem I have not read before I make a point to skip all of the previous commentary.

I don't read the commentary until ten minutes after posting.

Then it's too late for me to revise my posting (and lie) about the poem.

So here's my pure reaction:

-the poem is basically pretty blessed good.
-it has good (ironic) line breaks.
-it's not profound, but then, I don't expect you to see that, you being limited to reading braille bumps and all that.;
or rather, your being banned from this place by now, it seems.


Crits:

-L2 has a period. It should not have a period.
-Capping all your line-starts gives the poem a poesy-look that today is out of style.

Let me illustrate some suggestions?

See what you think? (more blind staggers humor!)

Let's put God to the fore, shall we? Strophe #1 sets the stage
then your speech turns confessional to Him.
Let's quit the line-end commas, using only semi-colons to denote longer pauses.
Line breaks can serve just fine as comma/pauses.




For all I've loved
He won't let me fall;
love so unconditional
love so well-propounded.

God You know me. You see
me; you see right through
me. You stand before me.
You protect me spreading
wings to fly me.

They can't kill me. You're
immortal; they can't hurt
me, immortal too. Thank
You for that. You can touch
me, You're my God!


-----



hth
your PP
Thank you, Poetic Peter for your honest review, and critiques. I'll confess that that one was written extremely late at night just as I was about to go to bed. It was one of those that just had to get out before it was forgotten with sleep.
If you would like to read some more of my poetry I'd be more than happy to e-mail them to you!
~Guardian of the Blind
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SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
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Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,979
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SalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Immortal - 11-06-2007, 01:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind leading the blind View Post
Thank you, Poetic Peter for your honest review, and critiques. I'll confess that that one was written extremely late at night just as I was about to go to bed. It was one of those that just had to get out before it was forgotten with sleep.
If you would like to read some more of my poetry I'd be more than happy to e-mail them to you!
~Guardian of the Blind
Stop making excuses, your poetry sucks, that's all there is to it.
Face fact, crybaby.


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Immortal - 11-06-2007, 01:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind leading the blind View Post
It was one of those that just had to get out before it was forgotten with sleep.
If you would like to read some more of my poetry I'd be more than happy to e-mail them to you!
~Guardian of the Blind
And I will thank you to stop throwing yourself at Brother Peter. No doubt you have heard of his nickname "The Human Tripod", but I wonder if you also know about his strength in the Lord? If faith were a sport, Brother Peter could bench press 2,000 pounds.

This is God's favorite forum, harlot. Stop trying to seduce our Brethren into committing your whoredoms!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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