[Marshall]

A fellow member here found this ridiculous article and I figured we had better address it before the Godless Left starts harping on it like a flat bread sandwich filled with sprouts.

Just read that. Some fathead sciensatanist is trying to start another mass hysteria brainwashing like "global warming" and the "big bang" by claiming the world is going to run out of sweet crude by 2020.

Well if Liberals and troublemaking hippies would shut up and let America drill itself like a pincushion this would be a non issue. We have PLENTY of oil for US in our borders and in the ocean. Maybe the eco wackos should start worrying about HUMANS instead of animal fornication and preserving doomed and worthless critters like caribou and walruses and penguins. Less Polar bears means more oxygen for America to use in our V8s anyways. Only a wussy drives with less than 8 cylinders, it's the American way and Jesus hates partial cylinder counts and Japanese cars(didn't we nuke them awhile back? Just checking.)

I say once the rest of the world runs out THEN we really kick it up and start building hundreds of refineries and nuke plants so WE are in control and can charge the rest of the world $300 a barrel.

[Wash O'Hanley]

This entire dilemma would be avoided if the enviornMENTALists in this nation would let us drill for oil in our National Parks and Alaskan Nature and Wildlife Preserves. The oil under those sites alone would likely provide America with enough oil to last for 50 to 80 years while world leaders and economists with the brains to think up a permanent solution are born and raised.

I'm not concerned at all, and as I recall, Creation Scientists at Landover University have already begun spearheading a well thought-out study into the possibility of turning straw into oil.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

If God wanted us to buy into all of this eco-nazism, He would have said so. He gave detailed instructions in the Bible on everything from the design of the sacred candlestick to the punishments for various classes of rape victims. Are we supposed to believe that He devoted so much attention to those topics but just forgot about the environment?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

God's will is being done, on earth etc. etc., and no whining hippies are going to change that. God gave us the earth and all of it's contents to use as we see fit. Why would he provide us with an empty oil well? That's obviously absurd. All we need to do is open the fridge (drill for oil everywhere and take over any countries that might have more) and we'll see it's stocked full of provisions (oil and gasoline).

The difference between True Christians™ and everyone else is that we have FAITH in Jesus. We KNOW for a FACT that He is going to use us as He sees fit, just as we have used the earths bounty as we saw fit. Praise His Holy Name, it will all come out in the end the way He wants it to. Jesus always wins.

In any event, Jesus will be returning any day now, and when He shows up with that flaming sword sticking out of His mouth, all the sissified hand wringing over oil will be quickly forgotten.

[JennyD]

Oh, not this peak oil insanity again.

Hubbert's Peak theory is just that, a theory. He predicted in the 1950s that American oil production would peak in the 1970s. He was proven entirely wrong, as we still have 32 billion barrels of heavy oil in untouched tar sands in Utah!! The Alberta tar sands, in Godless Canada (soon to be annexed), contain 1.75 TRILLION barrels of heavy oil!

Sure, it costs more to produce usable oil. Sure, it uses huge volumes of water. Yeah, it requires a lot of energy invested per unit of energy extracted. Of course, it's being done by strip mining an area roughly the size of England. But we're not going to run out any time soon.

Things will just cost more.

[Brother_Percy]

I don't see it ever being a problem. Even if our oil get's a little short, we could just top-up using the old ways.

Remember, before we discovered 'natural' oil, we just used to use 'whale oil'. Surely if natural oil ever did run out, we could just go back to getting our oil off the whales? Do dolphins have oil too that we could use? What other animals could we get our oil from? And how many whales do we need to slaughter to get enough gas to power a car for a year? All these are interesting questions. Possibly God invented whales for just this purpose? For powering our Automobiles? He certainly wouldn't want us Godly people walking everywhere!

If we start now, we could have our first few 'whale-farms' created out in the sea within the month, for whale breeding and extracting oil. Praise!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by Hippie Longstocking

I don't see it ever being a problem. Even if our oil get's a little short, we could just top-up using the old ways.

Remember, before we discovered 'natural' oil, we just used to use 'whale oil'. Surely if natural oil ever did run out, we could just go back to getting our oil off the whales? Do dolphins have oil too that we could use? What other animals could we get our oil from? And how many whales do we need to slaughter to get enough gas to power a car for a year? All these are interesting questions. Possibly God invented whales for just this purpose? For powering our Automobiles? He certainly wouldn't want us Godly people walking everywhere!

If we start now, we could have our first few 'whale-farms' created out in the sea within the month, for whale breeding and extracting oil. Praise!

I imagine we could get quite a bit of oil from your disgusting stringy woman-hair, Hippie Longstocking.

As Mr. O'Hanley points out, creation scientists ARE working on turning straw into oil. Or, more precisely, switchgrass into ethanol. It's also now possible to turn garbage plastics (made of oil) or even turkey parts into oil for reuse, so be sure to send plenty of plastics to the landfills for future mining!

For every ton of turkey slop that goes in, what comes out at the end are 640 pounds of clean-burning oils that are sold for use in fuels and manufacturing, 100 pounds of propane, butane and methane gases that are burned at the factory site to generate the electricity that powers the garbage-to-fuel process, and 60 pounds of solid minerals that are sold as fertilizer. Because each type of raw material -- tires, plastics or sewage, for example -- produces different grades and quantities of oil and gas, the company prefers to limit the process to one kind of garbage at a time.

Incredibly, the only "waste" that's left behind is distilled water. There are no smokestacks bellowing chemical-laden smoke, and no pipes discharging fetid wastewater. Plus, the plant produces more than enough fuel gases to power itself without using any additional energy.

We do have the other option of simply eliminating all non-Christians from the planet. By reducing the population to 1/6 of the current level, we'd have plenty of oil to last for generations.