[Professor Tyeisha X]

I would like to know why the case of Ms. Ladonna Miller has not been brought up before on this forum? Is it because she is a victim of archaic Jim Crow laws and corrupt government and police? Are you trying to hide the truth from the world outside of Freehold? (Named the most Racist Town in the Nation by the NAACP, no less!)

As you know, Ms. Ladonna Miller is one of Freehold's few African-American residents and currently works as a custodian for the Freehold Municipal Auditorium. Ms. Miller is also a staunch Democrat living in South Freehold, more commonly known by its racist epithet "Watermelontown".

As such, on election day she and some friends went out to vote with the intention of stopping Officer Richards' unyielding, bloodthirsty rise to power. This was no secret, because like most African-American women, she is what is considered to be "loud". When she is in a room, you know she is there. She was also banned from the Freehold Cinema for excessive talking, which we are currently in the process of suing on her behalf for racial discrimination. That's another story, but the point is everyone knew who Ms. Miller and the rest of the Freehold African-Americans would vote for.

The polling place itself was changed four times, the last time one minute before midnight on election day. Community members were confused at which location to go to. There were even "Polling Place ->" signs strewn all across South Freehold with no obvious direction. They seemed to have been planted randomly in numbers.

Eventually, it was discovered that the voting location was at the notorious Song of Solomon's Gentleman's Club (the same place your "Godly" Rev. Jim was photographed with his hands on the naked breasts of a stripper.) It being an establishment of adult entertainment, an entrance fee was required. Citizens of South Freehold are known to be poor and many had to be turned back because they could not pay the $25 admission + 2 drink minimum requirement. This was an obvious way to skirt around the highly illegal method of Poll Taxes!

Because of this, I am announcing my intention to file a class action lawsuit on behalf of Ms. Miller and other South Freehold residents who were unfairly discriminated against in a rigged, shady election. Further details will come.

[Scarlet Wynter]

Good luck with that!

[Didymus Much]

The only surprise that election held for me was that Pastor Zeke didn't win.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Didymus Much

The only surprise that election held for me was that Pastor Zeke didn't win.

I am far too busy doing the Lord's work to involve myself with such trivial matters.

[Alfred King]

My wife would be glad to take this case!

[James Hutchins]

Dear kind and so understanding Tyeisha,

There was a big problem on election day. The Council on Fair and Equitable Elections had arranged to us the Martin Luther King/Malcolm X Soup Kitchen and Basketball Court over on Lay-About Lane however, they were blocked due to no nigras on the ballots. The weak minded and racist folks there barred the doors. Every place in that part of town, the little old blue haired ladies with their paper boxes and pre-printed ballots were turned away.
That is until the kind folks at the Solomon's Gentleman's Club graciously permitted use of their fine facilities. Had you come in, you would of seen many of Freeholds finest men in blue there ensuring peace and orderly conduct. You would of also discovered that ladies drinks are 1/2 price on election day.

Additionally, in accordance with Freehold law, if there is no dispute on the validity of an election filed with in three working days, the election is final and is closed to further discussion. Please feel free to confirm this with Miss Cookie at the board of elections and with Mayor J. J. Hold.

When the next sheriff elections come up in ten years, please, do sponsor one of your people to be on the ballot. Be sure to raise the requisite $10,000 application fee (no guarantee of acceptance) to be added to the ballot.

[Seth Campbell]

I don't understand, Leroy voted with no trouble. Then again, he is working very hard at becoming a Christian and I spent hours with him explaining who to vote to and why.

This woman sounds like one of those uppity Negress' that people can't stand. Instead of looking at themselves and why people hate her, it's much easier for her to scream "RACISM" and not have to do any soul searching.

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

How about that!

I thought Professor Tyeisha X was dead of the hiv, or strangled by her pimp, or choked to death on a fried chicken bone or something . . .

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Typical sore-loser Democrat.

I've been busy getting ready to take power in January, but I'm never too busy to watch somebody make a fool of themselves in a show trial.

Will you be representing yourself in court? I can't wait!

[Mistress Cookie]

From the Desk of
MISTRESS COOKIE
Chairlady of Freehold Elections

RE: Elecorial Concerns Raised by Miss T. (Re)X

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Miss X:

Thank you for voicing your concerns regarding the recent election process. Freehold is without doubt the finest municipality in the U.S., and the Town Council and Male Elders are always happy to hear suggestions as to how they might make our fine town even better!

I am happy to report that they have carefully looked into the situation you mention, and have found not a trace of wrongdoing.

On a technical note, had your friend Miss Miller lacked the cover charge necessary to enter the club kind enough to host the election, she was welcome to discuss her concerns with the management. Had she done so, she would doubtlessly have been informed that ladies who agree to wrestle, dance at the club for a short 20 minute shift, or enter one of their numerous onstage contests are allowed in free.

It is unfortunate Miss. Miller did not pursue these avenues open to her.

I am extremely sorry to hear there was confusion on the part of any citizen, yet am happy we could bring this topic to a close to everyone's satisfaction.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

There wasn't even anyone running against Don "Shamu" Richards, was there? Who was Ms. Miller going to vote for, Professor Ineedsomese X?

[HTannor]

I'm ready to hear the case. Please bring it on.