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View Poll Results: Who is your favorite Pastor?
Pastor Zeke 65 23.30%
Pastor Zeke 67 24.01%
Pastor Zeke 64 22.94%
Pastor Zeke 83 29.75%
Voters: 279. You may not vote on this poll

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Default Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 01:09 AM

Time for the yearly popularity poll: who is your favorite Pastor?

1st prize is a fully paid up trip to the Philippines, same as last year.


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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 01:33 AM

Hmm... I'd have to go with Pastor Zeke. I've only ever seen his sermons via the pay-per-view livestreams on the LBC intranet server, but even through a computer screen he's mesmerizing. Your hairs stand up and your blood rushes as he evangelizes and testifies, cursing out the devil and glorifying God. To see him in person must be electrifying, like watching Jesus Christ himself preaching 2,000 years ago with your own eyes. I've looked far and wide for another comparable orator and nobody else even comes close to Ezekiel Flint (grace be upon him).

This guy is a distant second:



I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!
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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 03:20 AM

I have a definite criterion for passing judgement on pastors. They have to have the hammer down on sin. We all measure our lives by how successful we have been at pushing away sin. We need the help of a fire breathing sin hater. That is why Pastor Zeke is my favorite.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 03:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
I have a definite criterion for passing judgement on pastors. They have to have the hammer down on sin. We all measure our lives by how successful we have been at pushing away sin. We need the help of a fire breathing sin hater. That is why Pastor Zeke is my favorite.
Brother Mayor, are there any sins in particular that the flock needs to concentrate on? With the new street cameras you must have evidence advice on so many ranking members of local government. God forbid if they were to violate your personal directives.


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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 03:45 AM

Street cameras are useful in spotting certain kinds of sins, especially the sins Pastor Zeke hates the most.

Here is a demonstration of what Freehold PD watches for.

The Birdcage (4/10) Movie CLIP - Walking Like John Wayne (1996) HD - YouTube


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 06:09 AM

Pastor Ezekiel Flint was there with me when I was saved. He prayed and laid his hands upon me; that's when I came to realize the immense burst of pleasure that comes with forming a personal relationship with God.

Pastor Zeke is the holiest man I have ever known, and he delivers powerful sermons that save sinners in droves. He's not afraid to get his hands dirty in the service of the Lord, either: The good Pastor jets worldwide to spread the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, taking a particular interest in converting the peoples of tropical islands and all-year beach resort communities around the world during the long Iowa winter. And he is the most important of President Trump's spiritual advisors. Who do you think told the President about hydroxychloroquine, ivermectin, and intravenous bleach as treatments for COVID?

Pastor Deacon Fred, also of our beloved Landover Baptist Church is definitely number two, followed closely by our own Pastor Ezekiel Bathfire.

Jesus is a distant fourth.


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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 05:02 PM

I have to go with Pastor Zeke, even tough the Pastor of Mankind is definitely the Pope.
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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 08:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Romeo Rovagnati View Post
I have to go with Pastor Zeke, even tough the Pastor of Mankind is definitely the Pope.
To Catholics, "Pastor of Mankind" is code for "gay priest." But, for all his many flaws, I don't think Pope Francis is a homo. The homo was Benedict.


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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-23-2022, 10:23 AM

Pastor Ezekiel Flint hands down.


That man has touched me in an a manner that I would never of thought possible, waking feelings and senses way down deep inside me. His penetration of my soul during days long Prayer Sessions©, leaving me a sweaty raw mass of a man prostrated before Him. Well worth the $35,000 'donation' to the Pastors Discretionary fund.

As the kids today say 'He gave it to me good!'


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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