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Reload this Page SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 02:44 AM

Taste the rainbow, indeed! The homosexual agenda has taken many shapes and sizes, but we have been onto it at every turn of it's quest to recruit our children to the queer lifestyle!

This evening while I was expressing a high degree of intense revulsion at my own nakedness in the shower, the Holy Spirit came upon me and told me to write to all of you about the dangers of these nefarious little candies!

ATTENTION: WOMEN, CHILDREN, AND THOSE WITH WEAK SPIRITUAL CONSTITUTIONS SHOULD NOT CONTINUE!




Right off the bat we can see that these sodomite sweets are attractively decorated with the bright colors of the rainbow, which was long ago adopted as the homo calling card.

The term "Original Fruit" is splattered across the top of the packaging, which is homosexual code language for "virgin testicles." There was a 200% increase in Skittles sales when they started using that slogan. At the same time, incidents of homosexuals abducting and raping young Christian boys skyrocketed. Coincidence? I doubt it.



When we view Skittles closeup, it is obvious that they have been modeled after a) the male buttocks, or b) testicles.

Each color of Skittles has a different meaning. Homosexuals will keep a variety of these in their pockets, and when they see a potential homosexual or homosexual recruit, they will attempt to hand-feed it into their mouth. According to the color, that is what the "host" wants to do with the "guest."

GREEN: Fornicate in a public park

YELLOW: Abduct a christian man and take turns urinating on his face

RED: Spank the "guest's" behind with a leather strap

ORANGE: Fornicate with vegetables stolen from a True Christian farmer

BROWN: The "host" will insert Skittles candies 'up there' and then pay the "vendor" with a kiss every time he wants a pile of candies excreted into his palm or even directly into his mouth!

Friends, I am calling for a ban on ALL Skittles products, whether it be food, clothing or decorative ornaments! THERE IS REASON TO BELIEVE THAT SKITTLES MAY BE INJECTED WITH THE AIDS OR SOME KIND OF GAY CHEMICAL THAT CAUSES AN ADDICTION TO SAME SEX ACTIVITY!

If you find your children eating these candies, TAKE THEM AWAY AT ONCE AND BEAT YOUR KIDS FOR EXPERIMENTING IN THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE!

MAY GOD KEEP YOUR FAMILIES SAFE!



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- Proverbs 15:3

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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 07:48 AM

I was going to comment on this vile abomination..but fainted after reading it. You can better believe that NOOOOO Skittles will ever be purchased again at the Johnson Residence!

I can't click back on this thread (for fear that I will faint again) but will ALERT a GODLY Pastor.


In JESUS'S name Amen!




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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 08:59 AM

I never liked the things. The flavors were completely gay and all that. Back in the day the real candy of real men was Warheads. You ate one and got hairs on your chest for doing it! Real man's "take the skin off the back of your throat" kind of sour. No queers and homers allowed!
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 08-02-2010, 11:19 AM

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Originally Posted by Shinigami View Post
I never liked the things. The flavors were completely gay and all that. Back in the day the real candy of real men was Warheads. You ate one and got hairs on your chest for doing it! Real man's "take the skin off the back of your throat" kind of sour. No queers and homers allowed!
Are you allowed a username that means "Death God"? I'm not judging, I like Bleach!
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 08-02-2010, 05:21 PM

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Originally Posted by Taylor View Post
Are you allowed a username that means "Death God"? I'm not judging, I like Bleach!
A little girl needs some healthy hobbies. I don't think that worshipping slant death demons and drinking household chemicals counts.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 08-02-2010, 06:30 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
A little girl needs some healthy hobbies. I don't think that worshipping slant death demons and drinking household chemicals counts.
Ewww, I don't drink bleach, it's the name of... oh never mind
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 09:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
Each color of Skittles has a different meaning. Homosexuals will keep a variety of these in their pockets, and when they see a potential homosexual or homosexual recruit, they will attempt to hand-feed it into their mouth. According to the color, that is what the "host" wants to do with the "guest."

GREEN: Fornicate in a public park

YELLOW: Abduct a christian man and take turns urinating on his face

RED: Spank the "guest's" behind with a leather strap

ORANGE: Fornicate with vegetables stolen from a True Christian farmer

BROWN: The "host" will insert Skittles candies 'up there' and then pay the "vendor" with a kiss every time he wants a pile of candies excreted into his palm or even directly into his mouth!

Friends, I am calling for a ban on ALL Skittles products, whether it be food, clothing or decorative ornaments! THERE IS REASON TO BELIEVE THAT SKITTLES MAY BE INJECTED WITH THE AIDS OR SOME KIND OF GAY CHEMICAL THAT CAUSES AN ADDICTION TO SAME SEX ACTIVITY!

If you find your children eating these candies, TAKE THEM AWAY AT ONCE AND BEAT YOUR KIDS FOR EXPERIMENTING IN THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE!

MAY GOD KEEP YOUR FAMILIES SAFE!
My GOD, brother! This post caught me right after dinner and I threw up reading it. In fact, I had heart palpitations and had to take a nitro tablet and drink a snifter of pre-French cognac.

It was a a waste of perfectly good fricasseed spotted-owl and sea-turtle soup. This is a wonderful example of the maniacal homer agenda, but PLEASE make your warning a bit clearer or post in red letters. Is there no limit to what qweers and goths will do to ruin our youth?

Have a care, Brother. Sea turtle is VERY expensive and will be as long as it's on the endangered species list. No one notices when a couple of owls go missing, but they are a taste treat as well!


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 01:00 PM

Candy has long been a way for the Homers too lure children into their grip.


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 05:31 PM

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Originally Posted by eliot mayfield View Post
Candy has long been a way for the Homers too lure children into their grip.
You can say that again!
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 03-02-2009, 02:03 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Have a care, Brother. Sea turtle is VERY expensive and will be as long as it's on the endangered species list.
Because killing God's creation just to have a nice dinner is exactly what we need.

Rainbows are God's creation too, you guys. Gay people using it as a symbol are not even a tiny threat to The Man. What are you obsessing about?
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 09-04-2009, 04:33 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post

Have a care, Brother. Sea turtle is VERY expensive and will be as long as it's on the endangered species list. No one notices when a couple of owls go missing, but they are a taste treat as well!
Is it legal to eat endangered species in the USA? Do we not encourage Christians to follow the law of their own countries?? Just asking. Where I live it would be illegal to go against the law, but I do not presume to know your laws over there in the US of A!
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 02:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
THERE IS REASON TO BELIEVE THAT SKITTLES MAY BE INJECTED WITH THE AIDS OR SOME KIND OF GAY CHEMICAL THAT CAUSES AN ADDICTION TO SAME SEX ACTIVITY!
After research at the Biblical Science Laboratory at Landover Christian University, we have narrowed this down to Canuba wax.
However, before I present our findings, let me remind you that, on average, there are 42 Skittles in a pack! And what is 42? According to the despicable atheist author of “The Hitchiker’s Guide To The Galaxy,” it is “the answer to the world, the universe and everything”! Yes, dear reader, we know that God is the answer to the world, the universe and everything yet Skittles claim they are! They are “of The Devil”!

42? Coincidence? I think not!

And now to canuba wax. To wax means to coat with wax; this is to lower friction and who, in this context, other than a homer would want too “lower friction”????

O the iniquity!





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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 04:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
And now to canuba wax. To wax means to coat with wax; this is to lower friction and who, in this context, other than a homer would want too “lower friction”????

O the iniquity!
Indeed Brother Bathfire, but I suspect the debauchery runs deeper than that! It is possible that this canuba wax is the same kind of wax they use to purge themselves of the GODly mass of hair that the LORD has blessed all humans with to help hide their shame. With gleeful delight, homers RIP the hair from their bodies to shamelessly parade their dirty bits around for all to see with the help of canuba wax! MAY GOD EITHER REDEEM THEM OR BROIL THEM IN HELL FOREVER!



The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 04:23 PM

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Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
Indeed Brother Bathfire, but I suspect the debauchery runs deeper than that! It is possible that this canuba wax is the same kind of wax they use to purge themselves of the GODly mass of hair that the LORD has blessed all humans with to help hide their shame. With gleeful delight, homers RIP the hair from their bodies to shamelessly parade their dirty bits around for all to see with the help of canuba wax! MAY GOD EITHER REDEEM THEM OR BROIL THEM IN HELL FOREVER!
I think you have it right there Brother B4G! Your moderate reply does you credit.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

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Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 05:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
And now to canuba wax. To wax means to coat with wax; this is to lower friction and who, in this context, other than a homer would want too “lower friction”????

O the iniquity!
Lord of Hosts, Bathfire! It is only 8am here and the thought of Haysus rubbing carnuba wax on my new limo made me toss my soft-boiled eggs and toast.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Thumbs down Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 07:58 PM

I would like to point out that M&Ms are the same shape as skittles, as well as also being rainbow.
So, are they gay too?
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 08:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by openmind View Post
I would like to point out that M&Ms are the same shape as skittles, as well as also being rainbow.
So, are they gay too?
These ones sure are:


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 08:06 PM

because they are pink?

it is just a color, how can it make something homosexual?
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Revrend Lovejoy Revrend Lovejoy is offline
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-11-2009, 10:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
These ones sure are:

You faggot! This man is a warlock!! EVIL EVIL EVIL. The proceeds of those pink candies goes towards funding breast cancer research. Something god has inflicted upon our wives breast because people like YOU walk the earth.

My wife died because of faggots like Nobar King and I am a God fearing American reverend from Nothumbs, Tennessee

I have been told that Nobar King may too be a terrorist planning to rape many innocent young christain boys anus's

HE SHOULD NOT BE TRUSTED GOD TOLD ME SO
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JohnMDeez JohnMDeez is offline
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Default Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS! - 01-17-2009, 08:09 AM

I love skittles and men.
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