[Meek and Humble]

A Poem Based On 1 Thessalonians

We are Christians, we are holy, and just, and blameless!
Be not like the Jews, who killed the Lord Jesus, and their own prophets, persecuted us, pleasing not God, contrary to all men, the wrath is come upon them to the uttermost!
The Lord Jesus Christ is coming, wrote Paul, only some 1,900 years ago!
Before we die, we shall see the rapture, wrote Paul, circa 52 AD!
Prove all things, hold fast to what is good!
Be good, people of Thessalonica, for the Lord Jesus Christ is coming soon!
GLORY GLORY GLORY

[Meek and Humble]

Well, that's it. I have finished. All 66 books of the Bible are represented here. It was been quite a pleasure to engage in this scriptural study, I thank all of the people who read through them with me.

I want to thank of course, the author of all these things, the Lord God Almighty, and all His holy secretaries, who preserved the words I have borrowed from: Moses, Joshua, Phinehas, Samuel, Gad, Nathan, Jeremiah, Ezra, Nehemiah, Mordecai, David, Asaph, Heman, Ethan, Solomon, Agur, Lemuel, Isaiah, Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah, Malachi, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Paul, James, Peter, and Jude. I also much in debt to a certain theologian by the name of Wells.

So I guess I am going into poetic retirement, unless anyone has suggestions for other stuff I can write about.

[Nurse Clampett]

I've read your poems to my little soldiers before bedtime. It moved their little hearts so much that they spent each night sweating and screaming Bible passages in their sleep.

[Meek and Humble]

Thank you Nurse, I'm so pleased to know my works are being enjoyed.

[Father Thomas Martin]

I have a request!

Could you try writing a poem based on John 6?

[Meek and Humble]

Certainly, Father.

Oh, several years before the Last Supper.
Jesus multiplied the fish and loaves.
Afterwards He used figurative language to convey meaning as he often did.
He said He was the Bread of Life
Which of course is a metaphor
But anyway this is not connected to the evil Catholic communion
Since He was not referring to the incident that Catholics say started that rite.
PRAISE BE TO GOD!

[Brother Lazarus]

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
The gosples keep me from wandering hither and yon
Tho their words are hard to follow
In Satans arms I will not wallow
For today is the day I will not stray

[Father Thomas Martin]

Originally Posted by Heathen_Basher

Certainly, Father.

Oh, several years before the Last Supper.
Jesus multiplied the fish and loaves.
Afterwards He used figurative language to convey meaning as he often did.
He said He was the Bread of Life
Which of course is a metaphor
But anyway this is not connected to the evil Catholic communion
Since He was not referring to the incident that Catholics say started that rite.
PRAISE BE TO GOD!

Hmmm...I know you can do better...

Can we hear poems about Tobit, Judith, Wisdom, Sirach, Baruch, and 1 & 2 Maccabees please? (If it's easier for you, maybe you can wrap them up into one big poem!)

[Brother Lazarus]

Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin

Hmmm...I know you can do better...

Can we hear poems about Tobit, Judith, Wisdom, Sirach, Baruch, and 1 & 2 Maccabees please? (If it's easier for you, maybe you can wrap them up into one big poem!)

What can a Papist, boy buggering butt jocky possibly know about poetry?

This maybe?

There once was a nun from Cancun
Nuttier than a loon
Who longed for a Coon
Who could make her heart swoon

Her lust was strong
For a man who was long
As big as King Kong
Who had a big bong

But her lust for the drug
In Gods eye made her a slug
She was squashed like a bug
On God's Holy rug

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Meek and Humble]

Sure thing, Father.

The Catholics being a bunch of reprobates
Mocked God by adding a bunch of extra books to the Bible
Which they did not even authorize as being part of the Bible
Until the 17th century.
It's all a fake
To promote Catholic dogmas
Which had no real Biblical basis.
As God said, whoever adds to His word
Shall have added to his punishment
You can't really add to eternity
But I guess maybe your part of hell will be hotter.
Amen.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin

Can we hear poems about Tobit, Judith, Wisdom, Sirach, Baruch, and 1 & 2 Maccabees please? (If it's easier for you, maybe you can wrap them up into one big poem!)

While we're at it, how about the Qur'an and the Rig-Veda? As long as you papists uncritically believe whatever isn't the KJV, you might as well go all the way.

[Benedict A. Davis]

I know it is a bit homerish but I submit a haiku to add to the poetry.

He said: it’s written
man lives not on bread alone
but on words from God


matthew 4-4

[John_Alvin]

What a shame! After returning from a two-year-absence, I have been greeted with the inability to create a thread. Even fervent bouts of prayer did not help! So here is a poem about the bastard children of the world.

Sometimes I do wrong, but I never forget
That God will be with me always.
And so it’s my job to sling each epithet
At God’s sworn enemy, the gays.

A Christian’s idea of good, wholesome fun
Should not include butt penetration.
As Baptists, we should stand together as one
And get these gays out of the nation.

These lazy-day gays as they spray their perfume
Have no place in the United States.
To our Christian values we all should exhume
And shame these men who masturbate.

Won’t you join with me, brothers, in freeing this land?
Will you rise up against these hell-spawn?
Let’s all pray together that mighty God’s hand
Will crush them and let them be gone!

[Wandering Minstrel]

Poetry is a great way to praise
and expertly tuned to shame all the gays?
Bravo sir!

Your condemnation
of back door penetration
has given me reason to shout

If one fag has been saved from damnation
with the help of your rhythmic word combination
that's something to be proud about

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis

I know it is a bit homerish but I submit a haiku to add to the poetry.

He said: it’s written
man lives not on bread alone
but on words from God

matthew 4-4

I have another Haiku for the collection, inspired by the beauty of Joel 1:5 (the plagues).

Joel 1:5
And wail, all you drinkers of wine,
Because of the new wine,
For it has been cut off from your mouth.

Ahem, here goes:

Addicted to misery
The sweet sting of sadness
White wine

I'm not 100% about the syllable count - I find it a bit homer-ish getting into the details like that.

[MitzaLizalor]

I don't know what a Haiku is (some sort of fish?) but would like to acknowledge Judges as particularly encouraging, helping us to understand how bad sin really is, particularly from God's point of view, and the steps He's prepared to take in the face of wickedness.

Judges 11:1 – 12:7 (excerpts)
Now Jephthah the Gileadite was a mighty man of valour, and he was the son of an harlot … Jephthah fled from his brethren, and dwelt in the land of Tob … and it came to pass in process of time, that the children of Ammon made war against Israel … The elders of Gilead went to fetch Jephthah out of the land of Tob and they said unto Jephthah, Come, and be our captain, that we may fight with the children of Ammon … Then the Spirit of the LORD came upon Jephthah … and Jephthah vowed a vow unto the LORD, and said, If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands, then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the LORD'S, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering. So Jephthah passed over unto the children of Ammon to fight against them; and the LORD delivered them into his hands … And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and, behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances: and she was his only child … And she said unto him, My father, if thou hast opened thy mouth unto the LORD, do to me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth … he sent her away for two months and she went with her companions, and bewailed her virginity upon the mountains. And it came to pass at the end of two months, that she returned unto her father, who did with her according to his vow which he had vowed … And Jephthah judged Israel six years. Then died Jephthah the Gileadite, and was buried in one of the cities of Gilead.

All pretty unambiguous and Jephthah's good character comes shining through, even to the extent of ruling Israel as a Judge (under King God, the Israelites not yet having erred to the extent of demanding a human king) which let's face it is some accolade. The poem will be in green.

He was so brave and mighty,
His mother was a trollop,
What e'er he turned his hand to,
He dealt a massive wallop.

Ammonites are dreadful scum,
Their ethics fully blown;
Jephthah made a deal with God,
How could he have known?

Somewhat moot since God knows all,
And at this point His spirit was motivating Jephthah so nit-picking secularists really have their work cut out here,
The rout complete he headed home,
His daughter knew no fear.

To root out sin God killed His son,
But Jephthah kills a daughter,
A “Thank-you, God for giving me
This most impressive slaughter.”

[WWJDnow]

O Lord, our creator, our master and friend
On thy Grace, for salvation, all must depend
You sent your own Son to suffer for our sins
We turn to you now as the End Time begins

Save us from witches, gays, Catholics and Jews
Bless us as we witness to spread your Good News
And help us make this a True Christian™ nation
Rapture us, O Lord, from thy tribulation

To sing your praises forever will please us
When we're in Heaven and sitting near Jesus

[WWJDnow]

Stalwart Matthew, pious Mark
Dear Luke and great John
Threw the gauntlet at Satan
So now it is ON!

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by WWJDnow

O Lord, our creator, our master and friend
On thy Grace, for salvation, all must depend
You sent your own Son to suffer for our sins
We turn to you now as the End Time begins

Save us from witches, gays, Catholics and Jews
Bless us as we witness to spread your Good News
And help us make this a True Christian™ nation
Rapture us, O Lord, from thy tribulation

To sing your praises forever will please us
When we're in Heaven and sitting near Jesus

Oh! My goodness, dear Brother Now; how this has blessed my old heart -- to read of such a dedicated prayer from the depths of your sanctified soul. I can see, all so clearly, that the works through you in a mighty way.

I'm reminded of a lovely, heartfelt poem that Sister Clementine read at Mother's funeral (the burial), just before we went for afternoon tea, over at Sister Lulubelle's house. Oh, she made the most delightful summer berry tartlets and cardamon & orange shortbread -- I'll never forget them. And, did you know that it's always best to sprinkle finely-granulated sugar over your shortbread as soon as it is brought from the oven, just before cutting it?

Anyway, this poem always brings a tear to my eye, and you may be well-advised to get a handkerchief before reading this, as well:

The Lights Are On

Up in Heaven,
Stars are shining;
Down on Earth,
We're all whining.
Save a place,
At ' table;
We will join you,
When we're able.

[WWJDnow]

A Prayer for Good Ole America

We'll get back to good ole America
When the Democrats are all gone
No more handouts for the lazy
No children on my lawn

We'll get back to good ole America
When God returns to our schools
No more teaching evolution
All science is for fools

We'll get back to good ole America
When women start obeying
They'll cook and clean and raise the kids
And in their homes be staying

We'll get back to good ole America
When we stop sparing the rod
If children start to misbehave
Bring out the cattle prod

We'll get back to good ole America
When we kill off Medicare
We have no more need for doctors
With the power of prayer

We'll get back to good ole America
When the homos are in prison
Our marriages will then be safe
Jesus, He is risen!

We'll get back to good ole America
When we win the war on pot
Let the marijuana smokers
All sit in jail and rot

We'll get back to good ole America
When we stop making vaccine
We just need ivermectin and
Hydroxychloroquine

We'll get back to good ole America
When minorities know their places
No more living in the suburbs
By those from darker races

We'll get back good ole America
When Catholics in our nation
Ignore the lies that their priests tell
Like transubstantiation

Well get back to good ole America
When we deport all the Jews
They all belong in Isra-el
Or so says God's good news

We'll get back to good ole America
When the Muslims disappear
We have to kill them over there
So they won't kill us here

We'll get back to good ole America
When we nuke the damned Chinese
No stealing all our precious jobs
No drinking fruity teas

We'll get back to good ole America
When Trump's President for life
He'll rule us with an iron fist
Thus ending all our strife

Lord Jesus up in Heaven
Please listen to our prayer
Bring back good ole America
For white Christians everywhere!