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HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN A seasonal forum to NOT celebrate Satan's birthday.

 
 
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Guns 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-23-2019, 03:01 PM

Attention: After last years rousing success, all Ammo and gunsmithing done by Bobby-Joes Armory® on the corner of Esclattes and Deuteronomy Avenues will get a 10% discount with proof of paid to date Tithes and a valid Witch Hunting license for THIS year (this means you Nobar!) for all munitions and weapon tuning now through 10/25. This includes night vision scopes, re-barrelling, bump-stocks and Bobby-Joe's hand polished "No jam"100 round Mini AR15 barrel magazine.

Please note, there is a 25% stocking fee added to support the Pastors General discretionary fund. Remember, it is for the children.

I should not have to mention this however the hunt begins at Sundown 7:03 PM Saturday and ends at Sunrise 8:05 AM Sunday Bring proof with you to Church and hand it in to the ushers. You must have more than 51% of a witch to get credit. We will be checking for 'witches' with two right hands, left hands, feet or the rest.

Now lets all have some clean fun.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-23-2019, 07:54 PM

This sounds like good and wholesome fun. Are Black men allowed to join in the festivities?

In Jamaica which is my home we often chase witches when we can find them and if we catch one we set them on fire. Everyone in the garrison will come to the event. It is so funny to watch them crackle and sizzle on the fire as if they were the sausages white people eat at their barbeques.

Jah Guide!
Trevor


Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
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Gun Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-23-2019, 08:01 PM

Terrific news, Pastor! Nothing brings a family together more than a good hunt and even more so, a good cause.

It is a shame about all the goth and emo people that were accidentally involved in past years festivities but as my dad used to say, 'if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck, hit it with both barrels' then bag and tag it.
I hope Bobby-Joe can get me a few pallets of .50 belt feed and provide a store credit of spent casings. That is a real money save for the Thrifty Christian®.
This coming Saturday, we will be doing weapons proficiency testing, mostly to see what caliber the little Hutchins can handle. We certainly do not want an eye taken out from recoil like we did a few years back. All that crying and hollering, it made it very hard for me to keep my spirits up, if not for Jesus to guide me. That and my gold plated 1911 (you know the one, the mother of pearl hand grips) action is still sluggish, there must be some goo still in the slide.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-23-2019, 08:21 PM

Before I buy airline tickets for my three eldest, can someone just confirm that crossbows are permitted? Thank you.


Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Gun Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-23-2019, 08:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Before I buy airline tickets for my three eldest, can someone just confirm that crossbows are permitted? Thank you.
Absolutely! Cross bows, sling shots, chains, rocks, caustic chemicals, rusty nails, pointy sticks, automobiles even bare hands for those with the desire to get their hands dirty.
My wife, Mrs. Hutchins got one by tricking it to stick its' head in the oven. Mrs. Hutchins held it tight while she preheated to 500 and the kicking stopped. It smelled something awful made quite the rukus (the witch, not my wife, she knew to keep her trap shut.) but my wife knew her place, in the kitchen, tending to my needs.


By the by, when your boys come over, I'd be honored to have them come and stay at the Hutchins Platation, LLC, no charge of course.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-23-2019, 09:41 PM

Thank you, Brother Hutchins. It's so very tedious getting guns on to an international flight these days, and nobody wants to be disadvantaged by having to use an unfamiliar weapon. So that's a relief.
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
By the by, when your boys come over, I'd be honored to have them come and stay at the Hutchins Plantation, LLC, no charge of course.
That is very kind and the boys will be thrilled! They are so fond of Mrs Hutchins (and, of course, so respectful of you) that this will be a real treat for them. I can't thank you enough. If you ever want me to take a few of your girls off your hands, just send them over. Hannah would enjoy the company and we could certainly keep them busy and out from under your feet.


Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Default Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-23-2019, 10:17 PM

It seems my "new" Panzerfaust arrived just in time.


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Sinner Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-23-2019, 11:32 PM

For the past few years out here in Podunk we've had problems with high school kids throwing Devil's Night parties in the cornfields, drinking and dancing and doing drugs, presumably as part of a demon summoning ritual. Well, I'm ready for them this year. I'm just itching to try out this baby:



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Default Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-26-2019, 02:15 AM

Looks like the President is getting in the spirit today (excuse the pun). WITCH HUNT!
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Default Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-26-2019, 02:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
Looks like the President is getting in the spirit today (excuse the pun). WITCH HUNT!
The President is so right about this. Liberals will use Halloween to wear Trump masks and mock him. It is like a witch hunt.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-26-2019, 05:38 AM

Mr. Mayor, that reminds me of a quaint British tradition that occurs around Halloween. Apparently they wear masks and burn effigies of a very famous traitor. It would never catch on in the USA.
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Default Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-26-2019, 07:52 PM

Dear Pastor Ezekiel: If it's a witch hunt you're organizing, then look no further. Kindly start here:




Sincerely, Isabella W.




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Default Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-26-2019, 10:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Dear Pastor Ezekiel: If it's a witch hunt you're organizing, then look no further. Kindly start here:
Good point. I'm convinced that Hillary really is a witch. Not just an ugly, nasty bitch (that much is obvious) but an actual practitioner of sorcery and dark magic. She's not just responsible for the deaths at Benghazi through her negligence, she has actually personally murdered people with a dagger at the Bohemian Grove and bathed in their blood. During her tenure as Secretary of State, we can only assume that Killary was a member of the Majestic 12, and that she has had contact with "extraterrestrials," i.e. demons. We can safely conclude that she has met with Satan himself, and even he wouldn't want to sleep with her.


I mean, all the evidence is there.


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Default Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-26-2019, 10:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Good point. I'm convinced that Hillary really is a witch. Not just an ugly, nasty bitch (that much is obvious) but an actual practitioner of sorcery and dark magic. She's not just responsible for the deaths at Benghazi through her negligence, she has actually personally murdered people with a dagger at the Bohemian Grove and bathed in their blood. During her tenure as Secretary of State, we can only assume that Killary was a member of the Majestic 12, and that she has had contact with "extraterrestrials," i.e. demons. We can safely conclude that she has met with Satan himself, and even he wouldn't want to sleep with her.

I mean, all the evidence is there.
Oh, yes, dear Brother Lukes! This is so true, and I do thank you for mentioning all of these excellent points. And we must not forget her evil involvement with that pizza parlor place. Why, this photo says it all!

Sincerely, Isabella W.
Attached Images
 




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Cool Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-27-2019, 01:11 AM

Just to be fair, the committee wants to remind everyone that is a witch is a witch. There is no such thing as a 'more valuable witch'.
Last year, several people tried to turn in a witch for credit, and they all had Hitlary masks on. When this was discovered, the individuals 'claimed' it was to save the 'Verification Scrutineers' the horror of viewing dead witches. This also covers Pelosi or Ginsberg masks as well. If you must cover the head, please use a plain brown wrapper.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-27-2019, 03:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
If you must cover the head, please use a plain brown wrapper.
Or don't include the head at all. I must say, decapitation and large-caliber headshots are some of the most amusing and whimsical methods of meting out justice for Jesus! Praise Him that the death penalty for witches, unlike that for many other sins, is not specified, and that He gives us so much leeway for creativity in carrying out His will.


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Default Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-27-2019, 11:54 PM

For only about eight dollars heathens can buy this mask and humiliate our Godly President. This has to stop:



Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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African Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-28-2019, 02:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
For only about eight dollars heathens can buy this mask and humiliate our Godly President. This has to stop
Completely outrageous and beyond the bounds of civilized behavior! If you need a disguise for witch hunting, buy an Obama mask instead:




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Default Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 09-28-2019, 01:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
Completely outrageous and beyond the bounds of civilized behavior! If you need a disguise for witch hunting, buy an Obama mask instead.
I agree wholeheartedly, dear Brother Lukes! And I do thank you for mentioning this. Another choice is this obvious, and very appropriate, one:





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Default Re: 2019 Witch Hunt - 10-02-2019, 03:27 PM

Greetings Baptists!

I had been looking forward to participating in this years witch hunt in Iowa with great relish but I am afraid that I will not be able to attend and I will not be able to see Iowa now for some time because I have been invited to participate in another witch hunt that is taking place in Washington DC which is near to my school which is Georgetown University. In Washington the hunting is for old white men who are witches and this hunt will be stalking President Donald Trump who is an old white man and a white nationalist and now I find that he is a witch too! The Student Committee to Drive Off Donald Trump is holding this witch hunt in order to capture President Donald Trump and make him go home to his golf course in New Jersey and live with the Italian people there. I have volunteered to personally escort Ivanka into exile in New York City if transportation can be arranged. I have long wanted to meet Ivanka and this witch hunt may present my opportunity to do so at long last. I will happily report on our progress in due time.

Jah Guide!
Trevor


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