[Brother John Doe]

Hello all, my name is John Doe, born on the day after our Lord and Savior's birth, my Mother, rest her soul, was an Anglican-Monarch-Worshipper who didn't think me being born on the 25th was not a bad idea. Sure enough, she went into labor Christmas Day, but my Daddy being the devout man he was, made sure I was not born on Jesus's day. He tried his best to prolong that birth, and he did it! I came into the world, and raised as a Southen Baptist. I was baptized at age 12 as all young men should be. I only read KJV Bibles because the NIV is for hippies and new age druggies. At 16 I dropped out of the local school because we were no longer allowed to convert and baptize forcefully in school. I am now a Farming & Ranching Specialist; a CEO of the family farm, Doe Farms. I always vote Republican, except that time Ron Paul, bless his soul, ran. I recently converted to the Landover Sect of the Baptist Church and I am a new man.

Some things about me:

• I enjoy converting, praying, worshiping, and hunting
• I proudly discriminate against those that threaten my morals because those are not only my morals, but they are Jesus's and God's morals
• I hate: Hippies, Ghetto Trash, Californians, Europeans, and them dang South Koreans (They're the real evil ones)

So, in conclusion I hope I am welcomed to this church, and I will gladly pay my 10% penance to the church every Sunday, it's better than taxes which are wasted on pell grants and welfare. Remember everyone, He died for you, me, and everyone else and we should be the most proud and elite because we have a full-fledged belief in that.

[VictoryOS]

Ron Paul is a liberal hippie who wanted to force the devil weed on our children. You can redeem yourself if you post your favorite Bible verse.

[Brother John Doe]

He was the opposite of a Liberal Commie in my head, he appeared to be a Libertarian Republican; but redemption is always called for brother, so I apologize for voting Independent once, what was I thinking?

And my favorite verse is: John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Brother Doe,

Allow me to welcome you in Jesus Name to our friendly forums. As an aside, I hope you are not related to the Doe local police found frozen to death near the Delaware Memorial Bridge during the polar vortex in a rather embarrassing condition (I won't mention the details here, but let's say he died enjoying himself and leave it at that).

Do you have a favorite verse from Our Holy Bible? Are you married, and if so, has she borne you sons for Christ's Army?

Praise God that He has allowed you to find us.

In True Christian ™ love,
NRL

[Brother John Doe]

I am depressingly related to said police officer. He's a 3rd cousin who is Mormon scum who married my 3 2nd cousins (1 of which was a man). I am unmarried as I wish to seek a Landover-Type woman to bear beautiful white children with, and home school them on a Bible-Based curriculum. Thanks for welcoming me.

[see_the_light]

Originally Posted by Brother John Doe

And my favorite verse is: John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

Indeed HE has!

Welcome to our humble forum.

PRAISE THE LORD!

[Brother John Doe]

Thank you See-The-Light. I am already taking ACTIVE participation in this community, adding to the list of false religions.

[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by Brother John Doe

...I apologize for voting Independent once, what was I thinking?...

It's easy to be confused about modern political matters when clear, direct advice on issues like gerrymandering Congressional districts and race-based voter suppression laws just isn't available, but fortunately for you Pastor Zeke (or one of his hand-picked "associates") is available for consultation (for a not very small fee, of course). Remember, he's not "interpreting" the Bible (which would be contrary to 2 Peter 1:20), he's just telling you what it means in today's language. Please present your financial records to Mistress Cookie in the Tithing Affairs office for evaluation and approval.

...And my favorite verse is: John 3:16

Yeah, we know what it says, no need to quote it. It's the only part of the Bible that most people know. So why, out of the 80,000-ish (?) verses in the KJV, does that one appeal to you?

Why does no one pick Exodus 34:14?

[Brother John Doe]

Because the whole idea of Christianity is that God sent down his son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to die for our sins. Of course it is important, in fact crucial to remember the verses about our morals and laws, and the ones saying how you can not be a bigot if you are Christian, as the Commie Media try to tag us as.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Originally Posted by Brother John Doe

Hello all, my name is John Doe, born on the day after our Lord and Savior's birth, my Mother, rest her soul, was an Anglican-Monarch-Worshipper who didn't think me being born on the 25th was not a bad idea. Sure enough, she went into labor Christmas Day, but my Daddy being the devout man he was, made sure I was not born on Jesus's day. He tried his best to prolong that birth, and he did it! I came into the world, and raised as a Southen Baptist. I was baptized at age 12 as all young men should be. I only read KJV Bibles because the NIV is for hippies and new age druggies. At 16 I dropped out of the local school because we were no longer allowed to convert and baptize forcefully in school. I am now a Farming & Ranching Specialist; a CEO of the family farm, Doe Farms. I always vote Republican, except that time Ron Paul, bless his soul, ran. I recently converted to the Landover Sect of the Baptist Church and I am a new man.

Some things about me:

• I enjoy converting, praying, worshiping, and hunting
• I proudly discriminate against those that threaten my morals because those are not only my morals, but they are Jesus's and God's morals
• I hate: Hippies, Ghetto Trash, Californians, Europeans, and them dang South Koreans (They're the real evil ones)

So, in conclusion I hope I am welcomed to this church, and I will gladly pay my 10% penance to the church every Sunday, it's better than taxes which are wasted on pell grants and welfare. Remember everyone, He died for you, me, and everyone else and we should be the most proud and elite because we have a full-fledged belief in that.

Welcome, Doe.

You seem like quite a zealous soul. I think God may indeed have great plans laid out for you.

Now, if only we can get this chimp out of office and continue on with the work being done at the Department of Faith, things can get back on the right track in this country.

Regards,

Pastor Ed

[Brother John Doe]

Thank you for that blessing, Pastor Lowman.

I can not wait to appease God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost in a crusade against heathens and degenerates. And yes, why couldn't a good Christian white male be president? Now we have a Sunni lying about where he was born.

[see_the_light]

Originally Posted by Brother John Doe

...adding to the list of false religions.

Just to correct phrase, satan adds to the list of false religions, at most you'll report on them.

PRAISE THE LORD!

[Alvin Moss]

I bid you welcome, Brother. We are friendly here and we love Jesus. All similar are welcome here.

I have some unease when I read that you reside in godless Delaware. It is said that many countries have armies, but only the Prussian army had it's own country. Similarly, many states have corporations, but only E.I. DuPont de Nemours and Sons, Inc. of Wilmington, Delaware has it's own state. Are they cruel masters?

Also, you live in a state where the general populous seems to think that Vice President Joe Biden is a qualified man. He is, in fact, a godless sinner, bound for Hell and deservedly so. Oh, Jesus, at your earliest convenience, if possible.

I will, on a lighter and more friendly note, compliment you on your punch. I like a good Delaware Punch.

God Bless!