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Default how do I be catholic - 09-15-2023, 03:05 AM

maybe Catholicism is how I stop being unsaved trash?


or am I too far down with my allegiance to demons


The abyssal darkness ever flows.
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Skull Re: how do I be catholic - 09-15-2023, 03:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBrat View Post
maybe Catholicism is how I stop being unsaved trash?

or am I too far down with my allegiance to demons
This is extremely easy. In five easy sinful steps you can discard Christianity in its only True™ form (ours) and become a Papist:

1. Discard Jesus

Pope Frances says that you can be an unbeliever and go to Heaven.

Quote:
You ask me if the God of the Christians forgives those who don’t believe and who don’t seek the faith. I start by saying – and this is the fundamental thing – that God’s mercy has no limits if you go to him with a sincere and contrite heart. The issue for those who do not believe in God is to obey their conscience.

This contradicts Jesus' very own words:

John 14:6
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

He endorses Jew and Muslim Salvation (apparently ignorant of, e.g., John 14:6).
Quote:
The plan of salvation also includes those who acknowledge the Creator, in the first place amongst whom are the Muslims; these profess to hold the faith of Abraham, and together with us they adore the one, merciful God, mankind's judge on the last day.

This gives us the first hint about Frances's true affiliations. Frances says that the Muslims come "first and foremost".

2. Engage in underage Sodomy


One one of Papism's principal manifestations is to build an organization that allows continuous sodomy of boys. The Catholic "Church" chose the tradition (sic!) of priesthood to propagate this practice.
Quote:
In fact, the Catholic Church has a 2,000 year history of sex abuse. In their acclaimed book, Sex, Priests and Secret Codes (2006), Father Thomas Doyle, with former monks Richard Sipes and Patrick Wall, used its own documents to confirm the Church’s 2,000-year problem with clerical sex abuse.
The Pope, as expected, dismisses the Bible.

Matthew 18:6-7
But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and [that] he were drowned in the depth of the sea.


3. Worship Evolution

Poop the Frances says that the idolatrous deity of evolution is the truth.
Quote:
The theories of evolution and the Big Bang are real and God is not “a magician with a magic wand”, Pope Francis has declared.
Speaking at the Pontifical Academy of Sciences, the Pope made comments which experts said put an end to the “pseudo theories” of creationism and intelligent design.

Genesis 1:24 disagrees
And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.


4. Dismiss the KJV Bible

We know that all there is to know is in the King James Bible. Frances says that the Bible is insufficient and we need "tradition"!
Quote:
The task is to determine what constitutes authentic tradition. How can we know which traditions are apostolic and which are merely human? The answer is the same as how we know which scriptures are apostolic and which are merely human—by listening to the magisterium or teaching authority of Christ’s Church. Without the Catholic Church’s teaching authority, we would not know with certainty which purported books of Scripture are authentic.

Well,
God and Jesus disagree!

2 Peter 1:20
Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation.


5. Promote Papist terrorism, the worstest in history, such as the IRA and ETA

Throughout history, 99% of all terrorist acts have been conducted by either Catholics or Muslims. On the Catholic side we have the IRA, the ETA, and many others.

John 8:44
Ye are of [your] father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.


There you have it. This will provide you with smooth sailing to Hellfire!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


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Default Re: how do I be catholic - 09-15-2023, 03:51 AM

what the


how is it even possible to be Christian and not believe that Jesus has saved you?


that is literally the exact opposite of being Christian


The abyssal darkness ever flows.
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Rebuke Re: how do I be catholic - 09-15-2023, 03:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBrat View Post
what the

how is it even possible to be Christian and not believe that Jesus has saved you?

that is literally the exact opposite of being Christian
It is not possible. Catholics are not and have never been Christians. Indeed, they are the exact opposite of Christianity.

Here's a nice verse that you can use when communicating with their kind.

John 8:44
Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.DemonBrat is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: how do I be catholic - 09-15-2023, 05:16 AM

I've lost hope then


not sure if salvation or anything resembling salvation is even a possibility for me


hopefully I didn't blaspheme the holy beer


The abyssal darkness ever flows.
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Bible Re: how do I be catholic - 09-15-2023, 01:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBrat View Post
maybe Catholicism is how I stop being unsaved trash?

or am I too far down with my allegiance to demons
Why on Earth would you want to be part of a dead church?

Revelation 3:1 "And unto the angel of the church in Sardis write; These things saith he that hath the seven Spirits of , and the seven stars; I know thy works, that thou hast a name that thou livest, and art dead.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBrat View Post
that is literally the exact opposite of being Christian
Exactly so, dear Miss Brat!

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBrat View Post
I've lost hope then
Well, yes; that is very true, and things will get even worse for you if you ever set foot inside a Cathyolick church. Why, just look at the terrible, confused mess that poor Mr. Romeo Rovagnati is in — being part of a demonic organization that glorifies the sin of priests abusing children!





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Default Re: how do I be catholic - 09-15-2023, 02:02 PM

Demon Brat, if you truly want to be saved you need to do the following:

1) Start reading the Bible, King James Version.

2) Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and ask God to forgive your sins in prayer. Be sure that you pray in the name of Jesus. You must honestly renounce your sins. God knows if you're lying.

3) Stop sinning.

Really, there's nothing more to it than that. However, because your case may involve demons, it may be that you could benefit from a professional exorcism. The Landover Baptist Church offers an excellent exorcism service for the low, low price of $24,999.99, with a convenient installment program (we call it prayaway) for the less financially fortunate among us. Additional fees may apply for difficult cases such as blacks, Jews, and persons possessed by Satan himself.


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Skull Re: how do I be catholic - 09-15-2023, 02:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
... because your case may involve demons, it may be that you could benefit from a professional exorcism. The Landover Baptist Church offers an excellent exorcism service for the low, low price of $24,999.99, with a convenient installment program (we call it prayaway) for the less financially fortunate among us. Additional fees may apply for difficult cases such as blacks, Jews, and persons possessed by Satan himself.
Oh, yes; how very true, dear Brother WWJD. I so hope that Miss Brat has "deep pockets", because it sounds to me like she will require the most stringent and thorough exorcism that is available. Why, it would not surprise me if Miss Brat has the dreaded Jezebel, just like Heather in the video clip. And, as you can imagine, this demonic spirit held onto Heather so tightly that — without doubt — her fee for payment would have been astronomical!





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Default Re: how do I be catholic - 09-15-2023, 08:02 PM

Sister White, I do hope that's not the case here.

Women who have the Jezebel spirit can be hard to break. They stop obeying men, stop listening to men, start thinking for themselves, start dressing themselves, take charge of their own lives and their own bodies, etc. What a mess! They're already 70% of the way toward becoming lesbians. Even worse, it is contageous.

That's why at Landover we actively watch women for any signs of the Jezebel spirit. Got to nip that in the bud or, before you know it, all of the women in our church will start demanding equal rights.


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Default Re: how do I be catholic - 09-15-2023, 08:33 PM

what happens if a male gets the Jezebel spirit?


because I'm not a woman as far as I know


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Scared Re: how do I be catholic - 09-15-2023, 08:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
Sister White, I do hope that's not the case here.

Women who have the Jezebel spirit can be hard to break. They stop obeying men, stop listening to men, start thinking for themselves, start dressing themselves, take charge of their own lives and their own bodies, etc. What a mess! They're already 70% of the way toward becoming lesbians. Even worse, it is contageous.

That's why at Landover we actively watch women for any signs of the Jezebel spirit. Got to nip that in the bud or, before you know it, all of the women in our church will start demanding equal rights.
Oh, how I hope that this will never happen in our beloved , dear Brother WWJD. It would be simply terrible if this were to take place. You are entirely correct about what happens to women who become possessed by Jezebel. Not only do they become ultra- "women's libbers", but they show absolutely no respect for menfolk. Most of them become extremely trashy, loose women who are out to get money and property from any unsuspecting man who should have the misfortune of crossing paths with them. We cannot have that here; not at !

How I pray that our fervent prayers and cries unto the will effectively drive away all attempts by Jezebel if she tries to inflict herself upon us! Most certainly, we need to avoid such sad, opportunistic, exploitive, vindictive situations, like this:





(Mrs.) Isabella White

Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

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Default Re: how do I be catholic - 09-15-2023, 09:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DemonBrat View Post
what happens if a male gets the Jezebel spirit?

because I'm not a woman as far as I know
Well, so far as I can see, dear Miss Brat, the Jezebel would most likely take advantage of your homersexualisticism, and convince you to become one of those tranny perverts — just so that Jezebel would feel like she's in the right place!




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