Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover Baptist Lounge
Reload this Page Enhancements Jesus Would Like
Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!! (Blacks and Homosexuals strictly prohibited!)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#41)
Old
Brother V's Avatar
Brother V Brother V is offline
True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Bronze Tither Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Home Schooled Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 3,477
Join Date: Sep 2006
Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 05-22-2007, 03:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Care to back that up with scripture?
As BT has mentioned, women with small breasts aren't made for having children.

Song of Solomon 8:8 We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?

Not only will she not know what to do, but a girl with small breasts is mocked in the Bible (Kjv1611)

9 If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will inclose her with boards of cedar.

10 I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.


Calling the sister with small boobs a wall, or a door, it's just the way it is.

Now a woman with TOWERS!!! That's what Solomon would want!

PRAISE JESUS!!!

YIC
V
Reply With Quote
(#42)
Old
Old Iron Crotch's Avatar
Old Iron Crotch Old Iron Crotch is offline
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 05-22-2007, 04:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother V View Post
As BT has mentioned, women with small breasts aren't made for having children.

Song of Solomon 8:8 We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?

Is it possible that the little sister spoken of in the verse is pre-pubescent?

Not only will she not know what to do, but a girl with small breasts is mocked in the Bible (Kjv1611)

The knowledge of how to nurse is pretty instinctive. She and the baby can usually figure it out.

9 If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will inclose her with boards of cedar.

10 I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.

Calling the sister with small boobs a wall, or a door, it's just the way it is.

Now a woman with TOWERS!!! That's what Solomon would want!


PRAISE JESUS!!!

YIC
V
Sounds like one sister is calling herself a wall with towers, not one sister a wall and another sister with towers.
Reply With Quote
(#43)
Old
Brother V's Avatar
Brother V Brother V is offline
True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Bronze Tither Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Home Schooled Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 3,477
Join Date: Sep 2006
Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 05-22-2007, 04:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Sounds like one sister is calling herself a wall with towers, not one sister a wall and another sister with towers.
I believe she was saying that she was in good physical condition. Not that she was overweight. But that she was slim, her stomach didn't protrude. She had a flat stomach. A wall, and she had nice breasts, a wall WITH towers.

It's highly possible the girl was pre-pubescent.

Historic Life Expectancy Rates

We are going to be looking for the neolithic or bronze age.

You will see that the average person lived for 18-20 years. So being married at 12 would be more than half that person's life time.

This is interesting (to me) During the classical Roman and Greek periods people lived to be (on average) 28. Jesus, even though gruesomely crucified on the cross, lived to a ripe OLD age of (most likely) 33.

You may think that 28 is a VERY young age to die, but currently, people in SWAZILAND normally live to be 32.6.

Thank you Jesus for not letting me be born in SWAZILAND!!!

PRAISE JESUS!!!

YIC
V
Reply With Quote
(#44)
Old
Old Iron Crotch's Avatar
Old Iron Crotch Old Iron Crotch is offline
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 05-22-2007, 04:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother V View Post
I believe she was saying that she was in good physical condition. Not that she was overweight. But that she was slim, her stomach didn't protrude. She had a flat stomach. A wall, and she had nice breasts, a wall WITH towers.

Make up your mind. First you said that the "wall" referred to a flat chest, now you're saying it's tight abs.

It's highly possible the girl was pre-pubescent.

So why would you ridicule a pre-pubescent girl for not having breasts?

Historic Life Expectancy Rates

We are going to be looking for the neolithic or bronze age.

You will see that the average person lived for 18-20 years. So being married at 12 would be more than half that person's life time.

People married young because of the short life expectancy. They needed to reproduce as quickly as possible to ensure the survival of the tribe. The Catch 22 there is that having babies so young shortened the female life expectancy even more. Since we don't exactly have a population deficit in this century, there's no reason to rush to make babies.

This is interesting (to me) During the classical Roman and Greek periods people lived to be (on average) 28. Jesus, even though gruesomely crucified on the cross, lived to a ripe OLD age of (most likely) 33.

And? Or did you just find this to be an interesting morsel of trivia?

You may think that 28 is a VERY young age to die, but currently, people in SWAZILAND normally live to be 32.6.

Thank you Jesus for not letting me be born in SWAZILAND!!!

PRAISE JESUS!!!

YIC
V
Ok....not sure what Swaziland has to do with anything, but if it gives you cause for joy...
Reply With Quote
(#45)
Old
Brother V's Avatar
Brother V Brother V is offline
True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Bronze Tither Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Home Schooled Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 3,477
Join Date: Sep 2006
Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 05-22-2007, 04:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Ok....not sure what Swaziland has to do with anything, but if it gives you cause for joy...
We were discussing why the girl had no breasts, so I put it into historic perspective as to how old the girl would be.

To make it relate even better to today, I threw in a little perspective on how different the world is, including that swaziland has the lowest current life expectancy rate.

But that was apparently lost on you, because you seem to only want to talk about boobies.
Reply With Quote
(#46)
Old
Old Iron Crotch's Avatar
Old Iron Crotch Old Iron Crotch is offline
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 05-22-2007, 05:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother V View Post
We were discussing why the girl had no breasts, so I put it into historic perspective as to how old the girl would be.

To make it relate even better to today, I threw in a little perspective on how different the world is, including that swaziland has the lowest current life expectancy rate.

But that was apparently lost on you, because you seem to only want to talk about boobies.

I simply alerted the ladies of Landover that their men were using their private forum to view soft porn.
Reply With Quote
(#47)
Old
Brother V's Avatar
Brother V Brother V is offline
True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Bronze Tither Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Home Schooled Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 3,477
Join Date: Sep 2006
Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 05-22-2007, 05:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
I simply alerted the ladies of Landover that their men were using their private forum to view soft porn.
Not a very private forum is it.

Perhaps you could learn something from the Ladies of Landover and only go where you are welcome.

Did you notice a lock on the forum door? Was there a secret knock? Did you know the password to get past the doorman?

No, none of those were there. Why? Because our ladies know that if they go into a forum entitled MEN ONLY, what they see in there is for the men, and could possibly offend women.

You don't see the guys going into the women's forums discussing how to get wrinkles out of trousers and which starch makes the colars stand up the best. (and if we do, it's only because we may have some kind of reaction to the particular brand of starch, or maybe the woman used too much salt in the spaghetti sauce).

Perhaps we may need to put some form of security on the MEN only forum as the heathen women have no INTEGRITY!!!

YIC
V
Reply With Quote
(#48)
Old
Old Iron Crotch's Avatar
Old Iron Crotch Old Iron Crotch is offline
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Old Iron Crotch is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 05-22-2007, 05:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother V View Post
Not a very private forum is it.

Perhaps you could learn something from the Ladies of Landover and only go where you are welcome.

Did you notice a lock on the forum door? Was there a secret knock? Did you know the password to get past the doorman?

No, none of those were there. Why? Because our ladies know that if they go into a forum entitled MEN ONLY, what they see in there is for the men, and could possibly offend women.

I thought all TC's found porn offensive.

You don't see the guys going into the women's forums discussing how to get wrinkles out of trousers and which starch makes the colars stand up the best. (and if we do, it's only because we may have some kind of reaction to the particular brand of starch, or maybe the woman used too much salt in the spaghetti sauce).


Maybe you should - you might learn something useful.

Perhaps we may need to put some form of security on the MEN only forum as the heathen women have no INTEGRITY!!!

YIC
V
Knock yourself out.
Reply With Quote
(#49)
Old
ayerea's Avatar
ayerea ayerea is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 117
Join Date: Mar 2007
ayerea is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 08-08-2007, 06:29 AM

I hear what your saying.
My younger brother thinks he can make me and my mom get him food and drinks.
I'm not sure if i want a husband if hes going to be like that. =/


Open your mind and heart
Reply With Quote
(#50)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 08-08-2007, 09:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
I hear what your saying.
My younger brother thinks he can make me and my mom get him food and drinks.
I'm not sure if i want a husband if hes going to be like that. =/
Which is pretty lucky, since JESUS made you a man!


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#51)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: XXXX Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 08-08-2007, 10:39 AM

I just noticed the name of this thread and changed it. Obviously MAN, created in GOD's image, needs no 'enhancements'. Furthermore, JESUS would not condone or 'like' any MALE enhancements. Jesus was no homer!

However, PLENTY of enhancements are needed by FEMALES, which were merely an afterthought created off the cuff after all the other animals and insects, such as hyenas and dung beetles were already in the inventory. I may start a prayer group to request a complete make-over. After all these years, we have a pretty good idea what needs to be changed.

God created woman as a helper (read 'slave') for Adam, who, sadly, was not more specific with his request. As a start, I believe women should be given hearing aids so when you tell them to shut up, they have no excuse for continuing that incessant yappity-yap-yap-yapping. Better yet, a programmable remote control that will also work with the TV.

Goodness, the list will be endless. We'll have to pick the top hundred female enhancements by popular vote.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#52)
Old
ayerea's Avatar
ayerea ayerea is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 117
Join Date: Mar 2007
ayerea is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 08-08-2007, 05:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Which is pretty lucky, since JESUS made you a man!
Jesus made a mistake.


Open your mind and heart
Reply With Quote
(#53)
Old
Brother Temperance's Avatar
Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
Senior Usher
True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
A very nice young man
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Christian Love Saved 5 Years The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Heterosexual™ Ex-Christ-Killer Public Awareness Medal Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus TC Bravery Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Ex-Brit True Republican Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 08-08-2007, 05:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
Jesus made a mistake.
Take that back, you Godless sissy! You'll be blaspheming the Holy Ghost next!


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
Reply With Quote
(#54)
Old
ayerea's Avatar
ayerea ayerea is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 117
Join Date: Mar 2007
ayerea is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 08-08-2007, 05:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Take that back, you Godless sissy! You'll be blaspheming the Holy Ghost next!
I wont, Jesus made a mistake, and he made me wrong.
And i cant do that, i have no idea who or what the holy ghost even is.


Open your mind and heart
Reply With Quote
(#55)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 08-08-2007, 05:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
I wont, Jesus made a mistake, and he made me wrong.
And i cant do that, i have no idea who or what the holy ghost even is.
Friend,

Jesus makes no mistakes. Take some responsibility for yourself. You chose to be born with a hormone imbalance like you chose not to be born a white, male American. Only by acknowledging your mistakes in the way God created you can you hope to be saved.

Do not give up hope friend! God created you as a Hell bound homer, repent of this and He will forgive you.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#56)
Old
ayerea's Avatar
ayerea ayerea is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 117
Join Date: Mar 2007
ayerea is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 08-08-2007, 05:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Friend,

Jesus makes no mistakes. Take some responsibility for yourself. You chose to be born with a hormone imbalance like you chose not to be born a white, male American. Only by acknowledging your mistakes in the way God created you can you hope to be saved.

Do not give up hope friend! God created you as a Hell bound homer, repent of this and He will forgive you.
Why would you worship a person who created people for the strict purpose of suffering? Thats the most evil thing ever, Hitler has NOTHING on that. You my friend worship Satan by saying your 'GOOD' god makes people that are designed to have a life and afterlife of suffering.


Open your mind and heart
Reply With Quote
(#57)
Old
SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
SalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 08-08-2007, 08:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
Why would you worship a person who created people for the strict purpose of suffering? Thats the most evil thing ever, Hitler has NOTHING on that. You my friend worship Satan by saying your 'GOOD' god makes people that are designed to have a life and afterlife of suffering.
oh great..
You're not only a gender confused faggot doomed to HELL, but you're a mormon as well.

GOD says that He sets some people up to fail from the get go, not us.
We simply quote HIM.

As for evil, as humans, we are too imperfect to say what is evil or good with any certainty.
Only God can say such, and that is why every atheist is evil: Because they do not follow the laws of morality that God has given us in His Holy Word.
ONLY by following His commandments, can a man be good.


PS. Stop wearing dresses and deluding yourself you sissy fool. You're not, and will NEVER be a girl... EVER!
At "best", you'll be an ugly parody imitation of one that everyone will laugh at.
Really, is that the kind of life you want for yourself?

Why don't you repent for your gender-confusion and accept Jesus as your personal Saviour instead?


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Reply With Quote
(#58)
Old
ayerea's Avatar
ayerea ayerea is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
Posts: 117
Join Date: Mar 2007
ayerea is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 08-08-2007, 11:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
oh great..
You're not only a gender confused faggot doomed to HELL, but you're a mormon as well.

GOD says that He sets some people up to fail from the get go, not us.
We simply quote HIM.

As for evil, as humans, we are too imperfect to say what is evil or good with any certainty.
Only God can say such, and that is why every atheist is evil: Because they do not follow the laws of morality that God has given us in His Holy Word.
ONLY by following His commandments, can a man be good.


PS. Stop wearing dresses and deluding yourself you sissy fool. You're not, and will NEVER be a girl... EVER!
At "best", you'll be an ugly parody imitation of one that everyone will laugh at.
Really, is that the kind of life you want for yourself?

Why don't you repent for your gender-confusion and accept Jesus as your personal Saviour instead?
You wanna bet that i wont be a girl? I will. without a doubt.
And yes, because i wont be laughed at, im not laughed at right now. I'm loved my my friends.
and i wont repent. i have nothing to repent for (well i do... but its not being Wiccan, bi or transgendered)


Open your mind and heart
Reply With Quote
(#59)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 08-08-2007, 11:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
You wanna bet that i wont be a girl? I will. without a doubt.
And yes, because i wont be laughed at, im not laughed at right now. I'm loved my my friends.
and i wont repent. i have nothing to repent for (well i do... but its not being Wiccan, bi or transgendered)
No one here is laughing at you, fruit. We all share Jesus' disgust at your decision to get your tallywacker chopped off and embrace sodomy as your chosen lifestyle. You make normal people sick, because Jesus tells us that you are an abomination.

And He should know.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#60)
Old
SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
SalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Male Enhancements Jesus Would Like - 08-09-2007, 12:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ayerea View Post
You wanna bet that i wont be a girl? I will. without a doubt.
And yes, because i wont be laughed at, im not laughed at right now. I'm loved my my friends.
and i wont repent. i have nothing to repent for (well i do... but its not being Wiccan, bi or transgendered)
Nothing to repent for?
Why you disgusting faggot.. You're a FAG, so you have ALOT to repent for.
You do know what God wants us to do with sodomites don't you?

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination:
They shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Leviticus 20:13

Don't you know that God hates fags?

And let me tell you: To God, you will ALWAYS be a man as that is what He created you as!
As such, He will regards your lifestyle choice of trying to be a girl as homosexuality, and thus He wants you dead.



BTW, you can get an operation.. but that still don't make you a girl.
And deep down, you know it.

And I agree with the good Pastor Ezekiel, you make me want to puke.
An abomination indeed.


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13

Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 08-09-2007 at 12:11 AM.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved