[Pastor Ezekiel]

THIS JUST IN: The Chairman of the Republican Party, Rush Limbaugh, is going to wed for a fourth time today in Palm Springs, Florida.

Yours truly got the call less than 24 hours ago, and I was sworn to secrecy, but now that the drive-by liberal media has gotten wind of the story, I'm free to tell you all that I will be presiding over the nuptials.

Rush Limbaugh Marries Again: Is an Heir in His Future?

It's the June wedding season, and conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh is on his way to the altar for the fourth time. Hope springs eternal not only for the King of Talk but for the much younger woman joining him in the vows of matrimony. Her name is Kathryn Rogers, and she's been dating Limbaugh since 2007, which qualifies as a long-term relationship given his attention span.

Rogers is a lovely-to-look-at blonde who works as a party planner for the South Florida Super Bowl Host Committee. She's a lot younger than Limbaugh, 33 to his 59, and if anybody's biological clock is ticking, it's probably his. A rich man without an heir has got to be thinking about what he leaves behind, and to whom. Perhaps Limbaugh's brush with mortality over New Year's while vacationing was a wake-up call.

Rogers was with him in Hawaii and having her nails done when Limbaugh called to say he thought he was having a heart attack. In an interview with Page2Live, she recounted how she pushed back the nail table, shouted to her mother to call 911, and then raced to the couple's hotel suite, where she sat with her obviously distressed fiance, assuring him help was on the way.

Limbaugh reportedly had told friends that after three failed marriages and the accompanying financial liability, even with pre-nups, to stop him before he did it again. Rogers' quick action got medics on the scene fast, and though doctors later said Limbaugh did not have a heart attack, she must have earned a boatload of brownie points that day.

As for Rogers, the allure that power has to make a man attractive as a mate and potential father to their children can't be denied. She seems like a woman in love, or at least enamored of the life that Limbaugh can give her. The celebrity site, PerezHilton.com quotes her saying, "I grew up so differently, traveling around the world, that I'm sometimes not able to relate to the average person my age. Rush has such amazing experience."

The marriage is scheduled to take place Saturday in West Palm Beach, Florida, and Limbaugh has asked for privacy. For someone of his ideological stripe, who is a big promoter of family values, it's tempting to mock him for his serial marriages. His first marriage at the tender age of 26 lasted less than three years. He separated from his second wife, a stadium usher, after five years, and from his third wife, an aerobics instructor, after 10 years. Based on those numbers, maybe he was just building up the staying power for a long run.

Or maybe, like Elizabeth Taylor, he's more comfortable with serial monogamy than dating around. Either way, we've seen this movie before, and we wish all concerned a happy ending.

I know you'd all like to send your congratulations to the new couple. and wish them all the best. Let's pray that this one gives Rush a fine, healthy son.

[handmaiden]

This is so unfair! Rush gets taken, and now Al Gore is the only eligible middle aged politico available!

I'm going to die alone!


Inconsolably Yours,

Handmaiden

[Benedict A. Davis]

Pastor you have verified her virginity prior to the nuptials I take it? I am sure she has been vetted by the GOP for fertility and bloodline along with their normal background checks.

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Thanks aim for heaven for that.

I was just going to ask if she is certified 100% non-Mormon by the DoF. The circumstances might be particularly alluring for a Mormoness harlot, and Rush does not need to fall prey to those charlatans.

[HTannor]

Originally Posted by handmaiden

This is so unfair! Rush gets taken, and now Al Gore is the only eligible middle aged politico available!
Handmaiden

Good news, Handmaiden. I once ran for some office in Freehold although I don't really remember which one. But I'm sure it was an important position.

Since my sixth wife recently died (autopsies were inconclusive for all of them - bone fragments don't reveal much), I find myself a free man.

Perhaps we can chat?

[SUV]

"A rich man without an heir has got to be thinking about what he leaves behind"

In Rusty's case, probably flatulence

(Kidding! Teasing you, Rush! Yes I am a sour grape, may JESUS Forgive me. He told me that evening we were spinning on OxyContin that I would be the fourth Mrs Limbaugh - and there I already had the Catering Menu all planned)

[SUV]

Now I see why Brother Limburger jilted me. In fact, I doubt he Married anyone of the female sex at all, after reading of his choice in "singers" at his Wedding. (It's troo, girls...I just read it and Wept [much as HE must have] on the CNN page):

"Elton John and Rush Limbaugh may seem like an unlikely pair to be found at the same event, but perhaps a wedding is as good a place as any to put politics aside.
As Rush Limbaugh, an outspoken conservative commentator, tied the knot for the fourth time in Palm Beach on Saturday, Elton John was on hand to help celebrate the occasion with a performance.
Although there are reports that Sir Elton was paid $1 million for the appearance, a representative for the singer would only confirm that he did indeed perform at Limbaugh’s wedding.
The 59-year-old Limbaugh married Kathryn Rogers, 33, whom he met six years ago during his third divorce, according to People."

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