[Larry Lee]

I know Skeeter's been coming in twice daily at the Landover Victory College Bookstore, hoping he'd be the first to wear an Ex-Masturbator t-shirt. Well, Skeeter, your wait is over. Landover's friends at Passion For Christ Movement have finally sent us the promised shipment of shirts.

Check it out. The shirt comes in red and black for both men and women. There's no reason not to buy one of each, although I have to warn you, our supplies are limited. And YES! We DO have a very few Ex-Fornicator shirts for those who come early.

[JennyD]

Why, Brother Larry, I was just reading a story on this very subject.

It included this most dreadful tale of hoe woe from a confessed ex-masturbator:

I struggled with masturbation for many years but this wasn’t the only sexually immoral thing that I was enslaved to. I started masturbating as early as 7th or 8th grade, but overall my imprisonment to lust started as early as 4 or 5 years of age. When I was a little girl, I had a friend that I played with. Something must have happened to her because it was from playing with her that I had my first sexual experience. After this one time experience I wasn’t the same and I developed homosexual tendencies as well. The seed of lust was planted and grew to maturity in my heart. I went from “humping” the floors, to sexually stimulate myself, to full on masturbation, which became my most shameful secret…

Then I tried to break free, I found that those same desires tracked me down like a Mississippi Slave catcher. I had never had so much temptation to sin by masturbating in my whole life. I kept giving in and giving in. It was hard to last one day, much less two, without doing it. This lasted from June 2005 to September 2005. Until for 2 and half months, I managed to stop. Temptations were strong. There were times I’d have to run out of my dorm room or find a public place to be in because I couldn’t be alone when I was tempted. This was huge for me because I was used to falling to this sin daily. However, I backslide due to unforgiveness.

Strangely, this young lady does not consider her latent Lezbianism to be of greater shame than her self-manipulation. Odd, that!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

I don't believe those negroes and their T-Shirts. I think they are lying. They still look like savage beasts from the jungle.

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Hold one of those for me, please. I'll need an extra large.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by Ahimaaz Smith

Hold one of those for me, please. I'll need an extra large.

One of the shirts, or one of the Negroes?

[Nobar King]

Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer

One of the shirts, or one of the Negroes?

Is that all you think about, Rod?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Having never committed the sin of Onan even once in my life, I will not be needing any of those shirts.

Lord knows I've had the chance, but I've never been tempted to engage in such a revolting, unnatural act.

Especially when Jesus is watching.

[Mistress Cookie]

Why do they make them in women's sizes, when that is an appalling, selfish, animal, male activity?

I (along with ladies everywhere, I'm sure) am deeply afronted.

[Talitha]

Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie

Why do they make them in women's sizes, when that is an appalling, selfish, animal, male activity?

I (along with ladies everywhere, I'm sure) am deeply afronted.

I expect they refer to ex-atheists Sis.

[Mrs. Robert Roberts]

I agree sister. But you never know when the devil might take posession of your soul if even for a brief moment. Especially after inhaling some fumes from the cooking sherry while preparing a roast for the Sunday church potluck.
That's why Mr. Roberts insists that I wear the Godly Chastity Belt when he is on the road. He keeps the key with him of course.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Those shirts are so nice, I almost wish I'd masturbated once so I could buy and wear one!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

I'll take "Ex-Liberal" and "Ex-NIV-Reader," please.

[SUV]

Brother Larry Lee, might you have any:

ex-catlick/nazirene/luciferian/methodless/eunuchtarian/moonie/hindoo/mooselimb/A-Christian-for-Jews-for-Jesus/Flirty-Fishie ones in?

[satantouchesme]

But I love to arouse my trouser snake

[satantouchesme]

Masturbation is a good thing to do. prove to me why its bad

[James Hutchins]

Originally Posted by satantouchesme

Masturbation is a good thing to do. prove to me why its bad

Because the Bible says so. Wasting His seed is wrong. Reading the Bible is fundemental.
Remember at least God loves you.

[satantouchesme]

But I have more then one seed :S

[Mrs. Rogers]

Originally Posted by satantouchesme

Masturbation is a good thing to do. prove to me why its bad

Here's a clue: I named my budgerigar Onan because he kept spilling his seed.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Originally Posted by satantouchesme

Masturbation is a good thing to do. prove to me why its bad

Genesis 38:9-10 (King James Version)


9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

I would like to order a shirt for myself. Do you have them available in husky XXXL size? I'm willing to pay more if it's a special order.