The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Sep 2014
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Hello Ladies and Gentlemen -
01-11-2015, 12:50 AM
Hello, I'm a christian husband from Landover who has just recently found this blessed website. I'm really happy to find people that serve God the way that I do. I found the church thanks to my family, but I have started to follow it radically when my wife started to get out of control. Then, I started the beatings, and sometimes, when she really screws something, I make her undress and I kick her vagina several times, also using my knees.
I hope that I can grow a lot as a Christian here.
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen -
01-11-2015, 01:03 AM
A cautious welcome to you, friend. I will overlook the diverse red flags. Tell us about your experiences with Jesus. What Landover are you from? I didn't know there were others. What is your congregation? Who is your pastor?
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen -
01-11-2015, 02:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Severe Husband
Hello, I'm a christian husband from Landover who has just recently found this blessed website. I'm really happy to find people that serve God the way that I do. I found the church thanks to my family, but I have started to follow it radically when my wife started to get out of control. Then, I started the beatings, and sometimes, when she really screws something, I make her undress and I kick her vagina several times, also using my knees.
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I'm confused, dear. You don't allow your wife to screw things? So, you prefer all of your nuts and bolts to just dangle all over the place? What about bulbs, or jelly jars, is she not allowed to screw and unscrew them, either? That's so screwed! Or do you have a handy man who does all of your wife's screwing for you? (I'm sure your wife would like that).
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen -
01-11-2015, 03:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Severe Husband
Hello, I'm a christian husband from Landover who has just recently found this blessed website. I'm really happy to find people that serve God the way that I do. I found the church thanks to my family, but I have started to follow it radically when my wife started to get out of control. Then, I started the beatings, and sometimes, when she really screws something, I make her undress and I kick her vagina several times, also using my knees.
I hope that I can grow a lot as a Christian here.
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This is called the INTRODUCTION section of the forum for a reason. Please tell us about yourself, your Church, and your walk with Christ Jesus. Minor details about how you discipline your wife are not really that important.
If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.
If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.
You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.
Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen -
01-11-2015, 04:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Severe Husband
Hello, I'm a christian husband from Landover who has just recently found this blessed website. I'm really happy to find people that serve God the way that I do. I found the church thanks to my family, but I have started to follow it radically when my wife started to get out of control. Then, I started the beatings, and sometimes, when she really screws something, I make her undress and I kick her vagina several times, also using my knees.
I hope that I can grow a lot as a Christian here.
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The title of this thread concerns me...we all know that Gentlemen come first...and ladies not at all!
Your priorities are @$$-backward, mister!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen -
01-11-2015, 09:19 AM
Kicking your wife in her private area seems awful mean, but I guess it's not my place to tell another man how to keep order in his household.
But you can catch more flies with honey, you know.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen -
01-11-2015, 09:21 AM
Just to be clear, that honey business is a metaphor. Please don't put honey on your wife's private area.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen -
01-21-2015, 01:02 AM
A cautious welcome to you sir. But I echo another person's concerns -- Why are ladies put first. We are the lesser being to men, who are our masters, owners, and reason we get to heaven (through childbirth)! Please change it ASAP!
Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 62
Join Date: Sep 2012
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Re: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen -
01-23-2015, 01:03 AM
Your wife spiraling out of control is less of a reflection of her than it is of you. If you were truly in control, then there wouldn't have been a problem.
Revelation 20:10
And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown.
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