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Default Student Hate Crime in Our Midst! - 03-18-2011, 10:48 PM

Dear Friends and Parents,

During one of my marathon lectures at the University on "Mineral Formations in the Old Testament," I was shocked to see, out of the corner of my eye, a student doodling! Not only was she failing to actively recieve the priceless Scriptural wisdom I was so keen on imparting, this student, Katie Molloy, was defacing her KJV1611 gold-tipped Bible!

Of course, we immediately grabbed this HARLOT out of class and interrogated her. While even Department of Justice-approved methods of interrogation did not yield any positive results (we considered Katie an enemy combatant at this point), a scan through her KJV spoke volumes.

Prepare to be sickened.

On a number of verses, Katie drew a QUESTION MARK, presumably to indicate that she doubted the veracity of the Holy Scriptures! Well, I won't repeat her heresy by indicating which verses she had defaced, but they constituted core beliefs about the old age attained by our antediluvian forefathers, the propriety of slavery, God's total warfare against the unrighteous, and several elements of the hygeine code set out in the first five books of the Bible!

I screamed at Katie, "Do you THINK YOU KNOW BETTER THAN GOD?" And, TYPICAL WOMAN that she is, she cried and cried and said no, she just wasn't thinking. NO EXCUSE!

But then, the kicker:

Over Luke 21:32, "Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass away, till all be fulfilled," Katie had written "Jesus Was Wrong!"

Let me repeat that for those of you who fell off your chairs in righteous Godly anger, suffered from concussions, and hoped this was all a terrible dream:
She wrote, IN HER BIBLE, "Jesus Was Wrong!"

Well, I had no choice. I've filed a complaint with the Freehold Police asking that Katie be charged as a hate criminal. In the meantime, because she's a minor, unfortunately Katie won't be held in police custody. We're keeping her here at Landover U. As a school discipline for her OFFENSES to God, Katie will wear a clown outfit for the rest of the term and have a sign around her neck that says, "I SPAT ON CHRIST AS HE HUNG ON THE CROSS FOR ME."

Parents of Landover, I beg you -- PLEASE do not send your young women to Landover U. in a depraved state. There is only so much that even our advanced and humane system of Christian education can do for them.

Yours in the Love of Christ,
Prof. BAB
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Default Re: Student Hate Crime in Our Midst! - 03-18-2011, 11:21 PM

Shouldn't the young lady -- and I use the term loosely -- be placed into an immediate Intensive Prayer/Christian Re-Education program?

It seems her soul is more important than her attending classes! Surely there's someone from the BASH ministry or the Ex-Negro ministry who can help her overcome her heathen ways via electroshock, aversion therapy, or any of the other time-tested techniques used by Exodus International and similar ex-gay groups?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Student Hate Crime in Our Midst! - 03-18-2011, 11:25 PM

Dear Friend,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
It seems her soul is more important than her attending classes!
Classes at Landover University are dedicated to the salvation of the soul. I'm sure you don't mean to imply otherwise.

Cordially,
Born Again Bob
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Default Re: Student Hate Crime in Our Midst! - 03-19-2011, 06:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Born Again Bob View Post
Dear Friend,



Classes at Landover University are dedicated to the salvation of the soul. I'm sure you don't mean to imply otherwise.

Cordially,
Born Again Bob
Classes such as "Womanly Witnessing to Wayward Whitefolk" and "Sharing the Love of Jesus through Baking" are truly wonderful and valuable courses for young True Christian™ ladies, but surely you recognize that these classes are geared toward helping the student save OTHER souls, not her own. It's my understanding that a young lady (or man) must be demonstrably Saved before being admitted to LBU.

I'm thinking some intensive, one-on-one coursework would serve the young lady well. I know that's what I would recommend if she were here in Indiana . . . Perhaps Pastor Zeke will take this one on for the team?

Or should she simply be expelled? A True Christian™ does not doubt the Lord. She doubts. Therefore, she must not be a True Christian™.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Student Hate Crime in Our Midst! - 03-20-2011, 06:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
I'm thinking some intensive, one-on-one coursework would serve the young lady well. I know that's what I would recommend if she were here in Indiana . . . Perhaps Pastor Zeke will take this one on for the team?
Ew.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Or should she simply be expelled? A True Christian™ does not doubt the Lord. She doubts. Therefore, she must not be a True Christian™.
Yea, do that.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Student Hate Crime in Our Midst! - 03-20-2011, 09:20 AM

Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass away, till all be fulfilled,~Luke 21:32

Jesus wasn't wrong! This is where the Highlander and Twilight stories, etc., come from, all of that generation are immortal and can only be killed by cutting off their head.


The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.~Joel 1:12
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Default Re: Student Hate Crime in Our Midst! - 03-20-2011, 03:35 PM

The hell, if you don't believe in something you shouldn't be forced to. As a "Christian" shouldn't you be accepting and let her think what she wants. What if her parents are forcing her to be a part of a religion she doesn't believe in?

Again with the turning your religion into a cult. Religion isn't suppose to be absolute, however the way you look at it it's just an abomination. You're methods hurt not teach. For the damage you've caused to people, surely you will go to "hell". If its real, which I doubt.

Your sane non Christian buddy, Mr.You'reAmormon.

P.S the name was suppose to be mormon seems like you guys have a really bad filter.
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Default Re: Student Hate Crime in Our Midst! - 03-20-2011, 07:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mormons View Post
The hell, if you don't believe in something you shouldn't be forced to. As a "Christian" shouldn't you be accepting and let her think what she wants. What if her parents are forcing her to be a part of a religion she doesn't believe in?
Then why is she attending a Christian university?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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