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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-21-2011, 12:35 AM

Just like the numer of joos left after WWII, the number of good joo jokes is waining.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-21-2011, 08:02 AM

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Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
Have you ever met a liebral with a sense of humor? No matter what happens or what is said they have to find something to be offended about.

Not sure what the NWO rule says he has to put 2 pennies under the bed, is it for the joo fairy?
For the Ex-Prostitute, I am saying what I left her.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-21-2011, 10:47 PM

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Originally Posted by TheNewWorldOrder View Post
For the Ex-Prostitute, I am saying what I left her.
Ah yes, there's that liebral "tolerance" again. Nobody can ever be forgiven for something they did in their past. No wonder you hate Jesus so much, how dare he forgive people when you can't.

Must be fun to be so perfect as to never have made a mistake in your entire life.


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-21-2011, 10:50 PM

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Originally Posted by TheNewWorldOrder View Post
For the Ex-Prostitute, I am saying what I left her.
If that's a holocaust joke, it's a piss-poor one.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-21-2011, 10:52 PM

Why did so many jews die of starvation in the work camps?

Because they were too cheap to dig into their bag of jew gold and buy a bagel!


The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.~Joel 1:12
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-21-2011, 10:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cursed View Post
Why did so many jews die of starvation in the work camps?

Because they were too cheap to dig into their bag of jew gold and buy a bagel!
Now THAT is a joke.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-21-2011, 10:57 PM

What's the difference between jews and boyscouts?
Boyscouts come back from their camps!


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-21-2011, 11:10 PM

Why did the nazis put jews and retards in the same work camp?

Because if you just put jews in a work camp, no work will get done!


The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.~Joel 1:12
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-23-2011, 01:18 AM

Dear Friends,

Off-topic discussion about Jesus being a Jew moved here.

Yours in Him,
BAB
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-23-2011, 01:28 AM

I'm not trying to make a joke (: Although if you insist...

What's white, sticky and moves across the sky at a thousand miles an hour?

[blasphemy deleted -- bab!]
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-23-2011, 01:34 AM

So free speech-not allowed? You mad broskis?
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-23-2011, 01:49 AM

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Originally Posted by Ilovemagnets View Post
So free speech-not allowed? You mad broskis?
Friend, this thread is the very definition of "free speech" but I should remind you that the specific speech encouraged is defined as "holocaust jokes" and you have not hewn to that directive.

Please confine your posts to that.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-23-2011, 01:57 AM

Specific speech, huh? So that means any jokes against anything non christian (Jews, Muslims, etc.) Is piffleing hilarious, but any jokes against christians IS BLASPHEMY! I'm having wayy to much fun here. Keep this up? I need my daily amusement
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-23-2011, 01:58 AM

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Originally Posted by Ilovemaggots View Post
Specific speech, huh? So that means any jokes against anything non christian (Jews, Muslims, etc.) Is piffleing hilarious, but any jokes against christians IS BLASPHEMY! I'm having wayy to much fun here. Keep this up? I need my daily amusement
Dear Friend,

Drop us a postcard from Hell when you get there.

Yours in Him,
BAB
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-23-2011, 02:36 AM

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Originally Posted by Ilovemaggots View Post
Specific speech, huh? So that means any jokes against anything non christian (Jews, Muslims, etc.) Is piffleing hilarious, but any jokes against christians IS BLASPHEMY! I'm having wayy to much fun here. Keep this up? I need my daily amusement
Your reading comprehension leaves much to be desired.

Let's say you were invited somewhere (stay with me) to speak about Intelligent Design, but instead you insisted on talking about something retarded like pastafarianism: would you fault the host(s) for throwing you out of the room?

Of course not.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth


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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-23-2011, 06:39 AM

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Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
Let's say you were invited somewhere (stay with me) to speak about Intelligent Design, but instead you insisted on talking about something retarded like pastafarianism: would you fault the host(s) for throwing you out of the room?
Hahahaha, oh, wow. Zechariah, that's quite a blessing you have.

Not sure how I feel about Holocaust jokes, but I can give it a shot.

Shouldn't be to grave about these things, a little camp is to be encouraged, I think.

I've got a Kennedy pun too, if anyone is interested? It'll blow your mind.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-23-2011, 07:08 AM

Why did the Auschwitz shower heads have 12 holes? Because Jews have 10 fingers!!




What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?

The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
About $5.65
You take out the pizza. In one piece.



Why did so many Jews go to Auschwitz? The fare was free.


Hitler had a pocket-watch, a very expensive pocket-watch that he recieved from his grandfather, meaning it had a strong emotional value. One day the watch stopped working.
Hitler gave the watch to Himler and ordered him to have it fixed immediately, so Himler went to the best watchmaker's store which was right at the 3rd Reich street in Berlin - but two weeks later the watchmaker returned the pocket watch, claiming it cannot be fixed.
Himler then returned to Hitler and said, "mein furher, no watch-maker in this country can fix your watch - but I have heard of one who perhaps can. His name is Yizhak Goldberg, and he's with his whole family in Auchwitz. I was just informed they are about to enter the "showers"!"
"We shall go and find him straight away!" said Hitler, and so they got into their Folkswagen and drove to Auchwitz.

They arrived just when the showers' doors were about to close. Running, the ordered the process be stopped, and opened the door once more. "Yizhak Goldberg," they called, "is there a Yizhak Goldberg here?"
an old, bearded man pushed his way out and said, "yes, I am Yizhak Goldberg." "this is your lucky day, Mr. Goldberg," said Hitler. "I want you to fix this pocket watch, and in reurn, I will release you and you whole family, and award you 2500 Reichsmarks!"
The old man looks at him sharply, then says: "3000 Reichsmarks and I'll do it."
Hitler is awed, but then shoots back - "2700."
"Oh, forget about it, close the door," answers Yizhak.



I feel kind of bad. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.








He fell drunken from the watchtower.


The best way to turn a dishwasher into a snowblower. . . . .
Give her a shovel.
Proverbs 5:19 A husband's commandment! And wives must comply.
19Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-23-2011, 11:12 AM

Why did the nazis make lampshades out of jew skin?

Because it was too oily to upholster furniture with!


The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.~Joel 1:12
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-23-2011, 11:31 AM

Hitler, the pope and a jew making a nice hunting trip in Auschwitz.
Hitler gives the jew 50 cents and says:" Here this is your money jew, now shoot the pope!"

The jew sees the money and shoots the pope right in the head. "Money has no smell" the jew says. "Here.." Hitler laughts:" I give you again 50 cents if you shoot yourself or another jew in the head!"

The jew thinks for a while, then it makes BOOM. The jew falls down with a bullet in his head. Hitler is scared and watches his back. A young jewish boy is smiling and says: "Can i have the 50 cents...?"


This joke is copyrighted by titus tempelton
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Default Re: Holocaust Jokes - 05-23-2011, 11:43 AM

How many jews do you have to work to the bone to make 50,000 nazi tanks?

About 6 million!


The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men.~Joel 1:12
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