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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Default New Missionary Work. - 06-01-2022, 01:18 AM

I've been thinking about this command from Jesus

"And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.
Mark 16:15 KJV


I'm starting here with a spider living in my cellar. I think she will soon accept Jesus as her Savior. But how do I baptize a spider?
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Default Re: New Missionary Work. - 06-01-2022, 02:18 AM

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Originally Posted by Bezukhov View Post
I've been thinking about this command from Jesus

"And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.
Mark 16:15 KJV


I'm starting here with a spider living in my cellar. I think she will soon accept Jesus as her Savior. But how do I baptize a spider?
I don´t think spiders want to be baptized. They might be handy though: As they can crawl into small nooks and crevices they might help you find Jesus. I looked everywhere but could not find Him, maybe a spider with its additional reach could accomplish it.


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Default Re: New Missionary Work. - 06-01-2022, 04:46 AM

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But how do I baptize a spider?
I don't know, but don't be a Catholic about it--you have to wait until the spider is an adult before you baptize it.


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Default Re: New Missionary Work. - 06-01-2022, 06:06 AM

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I don't know, but don't be a Catholic about it--you have to wait until the spider is an adult before you baptize it.
There is an egg sac at the top of her web. I guess she's an adult, and didn't abort her precious babies.
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Default Re: New Missionary Work. - 06-01-2022, 07:43 AM

Go on...


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Default Re: New Missionary Work. - 06-01-2022, 09:10 AM

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Originally Posted by Bezukhov View Post
There is an egg sac at the top of her web. I guess she's an adult, and didn't abort her precious babies.
Be careful, they might not be spider's eggs, but rather eggs of a cockatrice:

They hatch cockatrice' eggs, and weave the spider's web: he that eateth of their eggs dieth, and that which is crushed breaketh out into a viper. Isaiah 59:5

Cockatrices are nasty creatures (basically, dragons with roosters' heads). After the baptism, I'd stay away from that spider if I were you.


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Default Re: New Missionary Work. - 06-02-2022, 12:41 AM

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Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
Be careful, they might not be spider's eggs, but rather eggs of a cockatrice:

They hatch cockatrice' eggs, and weave the spider's web: he that eateth of their eggs dieth, and that which is crushed breaketh out into a viper. Isaiah 59:5

Cockatrices are nasty creatures (basically, dragons with roosters' heads). After the baptism, I'd stay away from that spider if I were you.
Wise advice, I'll take it.


As far as squirrels go time to 'shake the dust from my feet'. Every time I mention Jesus they throw acorns at me.
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Default Re: New Missionary Work. - 06-02-2022, 11:49 AM

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Originally Posted by Bezukhov View Post
As far as squirrels go time to 'shake the dust from my feet'. Every time I mention Jesus they throw acorns at me.
Squirrels are devious little devils. Good luck if you want to try to baptize one of those.


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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