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View Poll Results: How will GOD respond to Ellen's Wedding?
California will slide into the ocean 2 7.14%
San Fransisco will move to Topeka Kansas 0 0%
California Wild Fires 1 3.57%
Richard Simmons will come out of the closet 3 10.71%
Gas will reach $4.00 per gallon this summer 1 3.57%
Arnold Schwarzenegger will become a transvestite 4 14.29%
The Devil will dance down Santa Monica Blvd. 0 0%
Locusts will wipe out Fresno California 4 14.29%
Bodega Bay will have perpetual fog 0 0%
There will be bad traffic in LA 2 7.14%
The economy will collapse and Iraq will turn into a quagmire 4 14.29%
God will cause something bad to happen somewhere, sometime after Ellen's wedding, and we Christians will be able to point at it and say "Look what you homos made God do!" 5 17.86%
God will allow people who no hablan inglés to invade the state 1 3.57%
God will come up with something new and horrible beyond belief to do! 1 3.57%
Voters: 28. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Default POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-19-2008, 01:13 AM

For those of you who do live under a rock, that famous Hellywood Thespian, Ellen is planning to marry a woman named Portia Di Rossi. I know the marriage has been covered in other forums, but I feel we might want to try and predict how Jesus will respond to Ellen's wedding, so a Poll is in order...

PS for those of you who have the Godly privilege of adding options to this poll, feel free to do so.


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Default Re: POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-19-2008, 01:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
For those of you who do live under a rock, that famous Hellywood Thespian, Ellen is planning to marry a woman named Portia Di Rossi. I know the marriage has been covered in other forums, but I feel we might want to try and predict how Jesus will respond to Ellen's wedding, so a Poll is in order...

PS for those of you who have the Godly privilege of adding options to this poll, feel free to do so.
Mother Glynndie, there's no "All of the Above" option!


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Default Re: POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-19-2008, 01:50 AM

I guess the half dozen folks in Commiefornia that believe in Jesus need to MOVE.
Because the Lord is winding up a giant spring under that Godless state and when it lets loose it will be the largest event in our history. Even larger than when God smote New Orleans to put the uppity population back in their place.


God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
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Default Re: POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-19-2008, 08:04 AM

I'll tell you what I'd LIKE to see: Governator Arnold Schwartenegger suit up once more and go Terminator on all the wedding guests.

But I voted that Californicatia will slide into the ocean. I have no doubt about it, because I've personally been praying for Jesus to smite them in just that way for years now! Glory!!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-19-2008, 08:50 AM

Hey, there is no all of the above option
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Default Re: POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-19-2008, 10:20 AM

I voted for Ah-nold to become a transvestite because the way I see it, he's about two minutes away from a rubber dress right now.


Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

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Default Re: POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-19-2008, 11:21 AM

I selected the "Richard Simmons will come out of the closet" option. Actually, I though he came out a long time ago and we True Christians were beating our brains out with trying to figure out how to shove him back in! JESUS!



Perhaps Ellen will have him to be the flower girl?
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Default Re: POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-19-2008, 07:48 PM

I'm not going to try to predict what God will do, because He likes to surprise us, which is easy for Him because He knows our thoughts and knows what we all think He'll do.

I added an option for "God will cause something bad to happen somewhere, sometime after Ellen's wedding, and we Christians will be able to point at it and say 'Look what you homos made God do!'"


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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Default Re: POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-19-2008, 07:58 PM

I voted for God to send locusts to wipe out Fresno! That way my son and I won't have to put our Nob Hill house in Sin Fran up for sale!


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-19-2008, 08:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
"God will cause something bad to happen somewhere, sometime after Ellen's wedding, and we Christians will be able to point at it and say 'Look what you homos made God do!'"
I LOVE surprises. Especially the big ol' surprises God comes up with when he gets mad.



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Default Re: POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-19-2008, 08:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha View Post
I LOVE surprises. Especially the big ol' surprises God comes up with when he gets mad.
Me too, sister. That's why I'm trying real hard not to think about the one I hope it will be.


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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Default Re: POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-20-2008, 03:30 AM

I had trouble finding the right answer because I think that all of those options have already happened. Won't God pick something new this time?


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-20-2008, 04:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I had trouble finding the right answer because I think that all of those options have already happened. Won't God pick something new this time?
I think you may right, Brother Nobar. I have added an option "God will come up with something new and horrible beyond belief".


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Default Re: POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-20-2008, 04:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
I think you may right, Brother Nobar. I have added an option "God will come up with something new and horrible beyond belief".
Thank your for honoring my comment like that. However, I am having trouble visualizing a fate that is so horrible that I would be unable to believe it. In fact, is it even possible?


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Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
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Default Re: POLL: How Will GOD Respond to Ellen's Wedding? - 05-20-2008, 04:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Thank your for honoring my comment like that. However, I am having trouble visualizing a fate that is so horrible that I would be unable to believe it. In fact, is it even possible?
President Hillary Clinton?


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