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Reload this Page If you masturbate it means you're gay...
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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FatAssFollower FatAssFollower is offline
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Prayer Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 05-16-2016, 02:52 PM
so glad i wear gloves every time i touch another man! :thumbs: god approves!
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 05-16-2016, 03:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by J3susHentai View Post
so glad i wear gloves every time i touch another man! :thumbs: god approves!
Hello J3susHentai,

Leviticus 20:13 (If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.) says nothing about gloves? And then we have Matthew 5:27-28 which states that by even thinking about it you commit a sin.

Kind regards,

Roland

Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 05-16-2016, 07:37 PM
You people are so repressed. Free your sexuality, as Jesus wanted.

1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

Love one another. Don't focus on all the nasty bits of the Bible that tell you sex is dirty and just for man and woman. Feel deep inside you and Jesus agrees with you that it's right to feel pleasure and be gay. Jesus wouldn't lie to me and He won't lie to you, if you just listen.



Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 05-16-2016, 08:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Waynetta Kerr View Post
You people are so repressed. Free your sexuality, as Jesus wanted.

1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

Love one another. Don't focus on all the nasty bits of the Bible that tell you sex is dirty and just for man and woman. Feel deep inside you and Jesus agrees with you that it's right to feel pleasure and be gay. Jesus wouldn't lie to me and He won't lie to you, if you just listen.



You're confusing agape (which is platonic love, and when I say platonic I do not mean it in the sort of way that homosexual pedophile Plato did) with sexual lust, dear.


I will pray for your lost soul.

God created fossils to test our faith.

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True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
 Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 05-22-2016, 03:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton View Post
Wanna know why?

Because when you masturbate, its a MANS hand jacking you off. It doesnt matter that the hand belongs to you, its still a mans hand. Fact is you're getting off at the feeling of a mans callus covered hand touching your dink.
Its gay to masturbate.
If it is so bad then why does it feel so gud to ***references to self-abuse removed by moderator***?? I want to be gay 24/7 so this is good information no matter what

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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 05-22-2016, 03:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GayGayAndGay View Post
If it is so bad then why does it feel so gud to ***references to self-abuse removed by moderator*** ?? I want to be gay 24/7 so this is good information no matter what
It doesn't feel good, it's just that you are confused. The mind of the unrepentant soul cannot be trusted to recognize fact from fantasy. Up is down, in is out, right is wrong, pain is pleasure. You may convince yourself that you enjoy a lifetime of self-rape, that you enjoy a relationship with a gay person, that doing gay things is not only pleasant, but brings you closer emotionally and solidifies a bond that will help you navigate the difficult times of life as much as it does present you with someone to share the joys. But in reality none of that matters. What matters is what Jesus thinks, and Jesus is not amused with your jokes and making light of His insistence that you reserve yourself for the use of a husband.

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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GayGayAndGay GayGayAndGay is offline
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 05-22-2016, 04:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
It doesn't feel good, it's just that you are confused. The mind of the unrepentant soul cannot be trusted to recognize fact from fantasy. Up is down, in is out, right is wrong, pain is pleasure. You may convince yourself that you enjoy a lifetime of self-rape, that you enjoy a relationship with a gay person, that doing gay things is not only pleasant, but brings you closer emotionally and solidifies a bond that will help you navigate the difficult times of life as much as it does present you with someone to share the joys. But in reality none of that matters. What matters is what Jesus thinks, and Jesus is not amused with your jokes and making light of His insistence that you reserve yourself for the use of a husband.
i dont need a husband, I only need a woman who DOESNT treat me the way your bible does, degrading and lower in life.

This space for KJV Bible use only. -Admin
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 05-22-2016, 04:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GayGayAndGay View Post
i dont need a husband, I only need a woman who DOESNT treat me the way your bible does, degrading and lower in life.
Don't be silly. There is no higher calling than to serve Jesus! For women, that means serving first our fathers, and then our husbands. We were created for this very purpose (Genesis 3:16)! Anything that denies this natural order brings emotional and mental distress, leading to drugs, lesbianism, abortion, and veganism.

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 05-22-2016, 04:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Don't be silly. There is no higher calling than to serve Jesus! For women, that means serving first our fathers, and then our husbands. We were created for this very purpose (Genesis 3:16)! Anything that denies this natural order brings emotional and mental distress, leading to drugs, lesbianism, abortion, and veganism.
so drugs, the thing that helps us not die just from a simple flu?

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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 05-22-2016, 04:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GayGayAndGay View Post
so drugs, the thing that helps us not die just from a simple flu?

Ridiculous! Marijuana has never protected anyone from the flu. Only God can protect you from the flu.

Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 05-22-2016, 04:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
I think Mrs Templeton sums up the situation better than I ever could. I do have a question, though.



Does this even exist, or is it just one of those ridiculous fantasies that UnSaved men like to think about? Because seriously, what exactly would a female do and (more to the point) why?
yes us lesbians are real, and i couldnt really explain why im into the same gender. now which i will ask a question for your question, why are you attracted to men? i mean just because the bible tells you? what about what your heart tells you? Your just gonna believe some random book that someone tells you to believe? I would rather listen to my heart than some stupid book.

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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 05-22-2016, 04:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GayGayAndGay View Post
...I would rather listen to the way I've been raised and trained, which I know is the best without questioning it in the slightest, while accusing others of being brainwashed...
FTFY.

Quote:
...than some stupid book.
Has never read it, knows it's "stupid".

Do you even honesty, bro?

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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 05-22-2016, 04:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GayGayAndGay View Post
yes us lesbians are real, and i couldnt really explain why im into the same gender. now which i will ask a question for your question, why are you attracted to men? i mean just because the bible tells you? what about what your heart tells you? Your just gonna believe some random book that someone tells you to believe? I would rather listen to my heart than some stupid book.
Hello GayGayAndGay.

The Bible is not a random book it is a very specific book a random book would be if you walked into a library or a bookstore and put on a blindfold and very carefully you walked very slowly until you came to a bookshelf and grabbed a book without trying to look under the blindfold if you do this please be careful especially in used bookstores sometimes they have uneven flooring.

Thank you.

Rusty

Psalms 116:6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 06-06-2016, 05:23 PM
It belongs in the fiction section
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 06-06-2016, 08:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GayGayAndGay View Post
yes us lesbians are real, and i couldnt really explain why im into the same gender. now which i will ask a question for your question, why are you attracted to men? i mean just because the bible tells you? what about what your heart tells you? Your just gonna believe some random book that someone tells you to believe? I would rather listen to my heart than some stupid book.
I am so sorry not to have answered this sooner, dear, but I have been rather busy with other matters. Even with domestic help, new babies can be quite time-consuming - something that I sincerely hope you will discover for yourself one day.

I find the accusation that I am attracted to men frankly offensive and I am perfectly sure that my sisters will back me up on this. I am a decent True Christian™ woman doing her duty, not some sort of incontinent whore of Satan.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5


I do not wish to be unkind, but you appear to be an ignorant fool. Kindly do not even attempt to tell people what the Bible says until you have actually read it.


YiC
JL-V

Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 06-14-2016, 11:57 PM
Being attracted to somebody doesent make you a whore of Satan. Attraction is a basic human emotion that we were created to have.
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 06-15-2016, 01:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris-the-Knuckle-Head View Post
Being attracted to somebody doesent make you a whore of Satan. Attraction is a basic human emotion that we were created to have.
Hello Chris,

For Christians™ this is the love for God, or Little Baby Jesus for those so inclined. For everybody else you should feel hatred according to Luke 14:26.

Kind regards,

Roland

Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 08-14-2018, 05:37 AM
It's clearly just a male problem. I believe this totally.



Just like when you go to the public sex offender registry to see if a neighborhood is safe to live in, all the sex offenders are male, just a sad fact.



And now after reading the informative posts here in this group I have come to the realization with as much masturbating that I have done, then I am definitely a homosexual.


What should I do now?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
I think Mrs Templeton sums up the situation better than I ever could. I do have a question, though.



Does this even exist, or is it just one of those ridiculous fantasies that UnSaved men like to think about? Because seriously, what exactly would a female do and (more to the point) why?
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 08-14-2018, 02:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bchas77 View Post
What should I do now?
Um, sorry for stating the obvious, but have you tried prayer?

John 15:7 - If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.

Mark 11:24 - Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive [them], and ye shall have [them].

God created fossils to test our faith.

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My favorite LBC sermons:
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True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
 Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... - 08-14-2018, 04:08 PM
Reverend Waynetta Kerr,


Thank God, finally someone in this forum that I can agree with.


This entire forum is so repressive I don't know what to do.



Basically I feel like they have locked me in the public pillory in the public square for open ridicule and are using humiliation as a method to punish me.


Rev Kerry may I say that you are indeed a breath of fresh air.


Thank You




Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Waynetta Kerr View Post
You people are so repressed. Free your sexuality, as Jesus wanted.

1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

Love one another. Don't focus on all the nasty bits of the Bible that tell you sex is dirty and just for man and woman. Feel deep inside you and Jesus agrees with you that it's right to feel pleasure and be gay. Jesus wouldn't lie to me and He won't lie to you, if you just listen.
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