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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-16-2010, 12:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by True Satanist Fool View Post
Em hi.
I'm just here to tell you that you're not a professor unless you get a PhD from a REAL university.
Landover Baptist University is a real university, in fact, more real than most other universities because it is a place where students learn the Truth, instead of being some kind of secular brainwashing center where they deal with crazy beliefs and indoctrination of liberal ideas.



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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-16-2010, 02:40 AM

Reading this, if I didn't know better I'd think Borat is doing another movie.


Leviticus 13:44 He is a leprous man, he is UNCLEAN: the priest shall pronounce him utterly UNCLEAN; his plague is in his head.

2 Kings 6:25 And there was a great famine in Samaria: and, behold, they besieged it, until an ass's head was sold for fourscore pieces of silver, and the fourth part of a cab of dove's dung for five pieces of silver.



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True Satanist Fool's Avatar
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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-16-2010, 12:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
Landover Baptist University is a real university, in fact, more real than most other universities because it is a place where students learn the Truth, instead of being some kind of secular brainwashing center where they deal with crazy beliefs and indoctrination of liberal ideas.
I don't need a man telling me what is a real university when he himself earned an "scientific" award for and I quote "For helping to prove the earth is flat, that negroes should be slaves, and that stars are really diamonds.".
Congratulation for your True Scientist award oh man of little knowledge, I hope you're proud.


Go ahead make my day Admin -- True Satanist Fool aka Santos Primus
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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-16-2010, 03:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by True Satanist Fool View Post
I don't need a man telling me what is a real university when he himself earned an "scientific" award for and I quote "For helping to prove the earth is flat, that negroes should be slaves, and that stars are really diamonds.".
Congratulation for your True Scientist award oh man of little knowledge, I hope you're proud.
I assure you my multiple PhDs are genuine friend. I received them all from accredited, Bible based Christian universities. The fact that Scientheistic disciplines are not recognized by the secular scientific community is actually an honor.

The Bible is the highest authority on all topics and I would actually be quite embarrassed to call myself a doctor in any secular area of study. But I am proud to call myself a Young Earth Theophysicist, a doctor of Flood Geology, and the head Scientheist at Landover Baptist University! Glory!


Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University



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True Satanist Fool's Avatar
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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-16-2010, 05:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Bessemer View Post
I assure you my multiple PhDs are genuine friend. I received them all from accredited, Bible based Christian universities. The fact that Scientheistic disciplines are not recognized by the secular scientific community is actually an honor.

The Bible is the highest authority on all topics and I would actually be quite embarrassed to call myself a doctor in any secular area of study. But I am proud to call myself a Young Earth Theophysicist, a doctor of Flood Geology, and the head Scientheist at Landover Baptist University! Glory!
Then by all means miss PhD sprinkle me with the "fact" you've gathered so far, surprise me with all the data that you've gathered by many years of research.
Oh oh I know tell me about all the data that proves that there was a massive flood that flooded the entire earth less than 7000 years ago.
Sure I've got a mountain of facts that tells me that the earth is older than that but I'm gonna throw you a bone.
Then again you could call yourself a philosopher studying the bible and give up your doctor tittle so we both can be satisfied, but if you're gonna carry the tittle of doctor then you've also got to act like one and be a man of facts.


Go ahead make my day Admin -- True Satanist Fool aka Santos Primus
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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-16-2010, 05:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by True Satanist Fool View Post
Then by all means miss PhD sprinkle me with the "fact" you've gathered so far, surprise me with all the data that you've gathered by many years of research.
Oh oh I know tell me about all the data that proves that there was a massive flood that flooded the entire earth less than 7000 years ago.
Sure I've got a mountain of facts that tells me that the earth is older than that but I'm gonna throw you a bone.
Then again you could call yourself a philosopher studying the bible and give up your doctor tittle so we both can be satisfied, but if you're gonna carry the tittle of doctor then you've also got to act like one and be a man of facts.
Don't you think the first person observations of The Bible trump the speculative conclusions of your "facts"?



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-16-2010, 06:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by True Satanist Fool View Post
Then by all means miss PhD sprinkle me with the "fact" you've gathered so far, surprise me with all the data that you've gathered by many years of research.
Oh oh I know tell me about all the data that proves that there was a massive flood that flooded the entire earth less than 7000 years ago.
Sure I've got a mountain of facts that tells me that the earth is older than that but I'm gonna throw you a bone.
Then again you could call yourself a philosopher studying the bible and give up your doctor tittle so we both can be satisfied, but if you're gonna carry the tittle of doctor then you've also got to act like one and be a man of facts.
I do not have the time to spoon feed self evident facts to an unsaved, rude teenager. If you have any questions about the earth and its formation, simply read Genesis. If you have questions beyond that, I suggest you use the Google to search for Young Earth Geology.

And I am a man by the way, just as God made me except for the aforementioned elective rectumectomy I underwent during my Ex-Gay© treatment.


Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University



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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-16-2010, 10:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueGermanChrist View Post
Forgive me, i am unworthy.
Finally, a post from you with which we can all agree!

Now, what are you going to do to make yourself less repulsive in the eyes of our Lord?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-16-2010, 10:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Now, what are you going to do to make yourself less repulsive in the eyes of our Lord?
I follow gods will daily, whatever it cost.

Luke 9:23
And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

I read the bible as much as i can. Because the bible help me to know gods will.

Psalm 119:105
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

I pray to the lord and he will give me wisdom.

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.


And at least, i will
listen to the adivice of the godly True Christian men and woman that god has placed in my live.

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The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.

Proverbs 15:22
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisors they succeed.
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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-16-2010, 11:10 PM

All well said! Yet here you are with your signature directing people to this very thread for which you have apologized.

What should we believe from this?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-16-2010, 11:16 PM

Everything should be ok now. I will now ask god for forgiveness for my sins.
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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-16-2010, 11:22 PM

The sheer amount of ignorance in this thread is astounding. While some homosexuals do engage in scat fetishes, the vast majority of them do not. Professor Bessemer is nothing more than a self-loathing homosexual who projects his own insecurities outwards onto the faces of innocent people. Bessemer is so ashamed of himself and what he likes that he has to rationalize that in assuming that all homosexuals are like that. Personally, I think he should just stop with the "True Christian" charade and take himself down to a gay bar and have some jolly good fun with a dozen or so anonymous men that night. He'd feel better if he was more honest with himself.



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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-17-2010, 12:04 AM

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Originally Posted by Professor Tyeisha X View Post
The sheer amount of ignorance in this thread is astounding. While some homosexuals do engage in scat fetishes, the vast majority of them do not. Professor Bessemer is nothing more than a self-loathing homosexual who projects his own insecurities outwards onto the faces of innocent people. Bessemer is so ashamed of himself and what he likes that he has to rationalize that in assuming that all homosexuals are like that. Personally, I think he should just stop with the "True Christian" charade and take himself down to a gay bar and have some jolly good fun with a dozen or so anonymous men that night. He'd feel better if he was more honest with himself.
I seem to recall a posting a while back from you about the perversions you enjoy with your "wife", My'Shelle.

I also recall temporarily losing vision in one eye due to a broken blood vessel, the result of half an hour of violent vomiting and dry heaves.

Why must you homosexuals be so disgusting? Is it to insult Jesus?


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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-17-2010, 12:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Tyeisha X View Post
The sheer amount of ignorance in this thread is astounding. While some homosexuals do engage in scat fetishes, the vast majority of them do not. Professor Bessemer is nothing more than a self-loathing homosexual who projects his own insecurities outwards onto the faces of innocent people. Bessemer is so ashamed of himself and what he likes that he has to rationalize that in assuming that all homosexuals are like that. Personally, I think he should just stop with the "True Christian" charade and take himself down to a gay bar and have some jolly good fun with a dozen or so anonymous men that night. He'd feel better if he was more honest with himself.
While that was actually well written and in some ways a pleasure to read, that does not make the asinine comments and wrong headed reasoning any more correct. Professor X, it is you that is projecting your biases onto me. I never said that every disgusting queer in the world was as addicted as I was to exotic bowel movements.

On the contrary, while I was a practicing sodomite, I probably only met fifty or so homos that shared this disgusting fetish with me. I will spare the good people of Landover an account of the ten man scat orgy I participated in in 1991, as I am nothing if not discreet. But you professor X, you are the bigot here, because you insist on painting all perverted queers with the same rose colored brush.

Sodomania is a complex disease, and all that choose to suffer from it display a veritable panoply of perversions. Coprophilia is only one of the disgusting compulsions common in sodomites. The average homosexual indulges in any number of paraphilias including, but not limited to dendrophilia, catheter play, mysophilia, vicarious arousal, pedophilia, infibulation, apotemnophilia, exhibitionism, bestiality, necrophilia, necrobestialism, nosophilia, and genuphallation. While all queers are equally hated by God and destined for hell unless they decide to cure themselves, for you to act as if they all exhibit the exact same symptoms is quite naive and insulting.

And as to your advice that I should visit a homosexual drinking establishment, you will pardon me if ignore your suggestion. I am a heterosexual man professor X, and I have no need to immerse myself into that particular pool of depravity ever again. I get all the fellowshipping I need from other cured Ex-Gays©. Why, just last weekend, I spent a considerable amount of time on my knees with senator Larry Craig, praying with and ministering to him. I will leave the "gay bars" as you call them to the unrepentant sodomites who have yet to decide to come to Jesus.


Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University



Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-17-2010, 01:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Tyeisha X View Post
The sheer amount of ignorance in this thread is astounding. While some homosexuals do engage in scat fetishes, the vast majority of them do not. Professor Bessemer is nothing more than a self-loathing homosexual who projects his own insecurities outwards onto the faces of innocent people. Bessemer is so ashamed of himself and what he likes that he has to rationalize that in assuming that all homosexuals are like that. Personally, I think he should just stop with the "True Christian" charade and take himself down to a gay bar and have some jolly good fun with a dozen or so anonymous men that night. He'd feel better if he was more honest with himself.
Lawanda,

You could never understand. Professor Bessemer fought the devil and won.

He has had strength in Christ here in explaining just how difficult it was to abandon the pleasure of three feet of feces sliding past his prostate, working it back into his colon. Back and forth, back and forth.

He cured the faggotry with an anal closure and could not return to that life if he wanted to.

He has repented, have you?

In Christ!


Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Talking Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 08-17-2010, 03:21 AM

So shall I get you all a glass of Epsom Salts or just a table spoon of Castor Oil? Both work wonders!
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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 02-18-2021, 02:36 AM

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Originally Posted by Morgana View Post
So shall I get you all a glass of Epsom Salts or just a table spoon of Castor Oil? Both work wonders!
The Word of God is Nature's Laxative, my dear.

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies,
kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any:
even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
Colossians 3:12-15


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 02-18-2021, 03:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
The Word of God is Nature's Laxative, my dear.
Colossians 3:12-15
This thread is an example of Landover Baptist's commitment to both happiness and health. Both are available through Jesus.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Warning! Try to defecate every day or you might get GAY! - 02-18-2021, 10:56 AM

I can't imagine going more than an hour or two without moving one's bowels. If I had that kind of control, I'd still have my stage acting career.


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