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WEDDING BELLS! - Christian Wedding Forum A seasonal forum hosted by cyber Bridesmaids, Daisy Mae Johnson, Sister Mary Etheldreda and Sister Talitha . Groomly advice is also offered from Best Man, Pastor Zeke!

 
 
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eliot mayfield's Avatar
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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-07-2009, 04:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
I am always loosing my keys. So to prevent that from being a problem, I have given a copy to each of the Church Elders. My wife agrees, it is a very good idea.
How do you loose a key?


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-07-2009, 05:02 PM

Often, when I have been trying to feel up'save' strippers heathens at the local gentleman's Christan strip Bible study club, my keys have fallen the the floor during fits of drunken stupor while pulling singles from my pockets blissful Praise.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Ofc. Don W. Richards's Avatar
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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-07-2009, 08:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
Protecting the public is such a manly job. You must work up quite an appetite by the end of your shifts! You need a woman who is able to whip up a meal fit for a king (which is exactly what you are).

Yes, the stress of fighting crime in the streets does take its toll. I'm fortunate that I am as strong as I am. Lesser men would run away in tears if they had to face what I do on a day to day basis.

By the end of the day I am always ready for a hot meal, so I swing by the burger joint, and then Dunkin' Donuts to talk about the events of the day with my buddies.
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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-08-2009, 01:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ofc. Don W. Richards View Post

Yes, the stress of fighting crime in the streets does take its toll. I'm fortunate that I am as strong as I am. Lesser men would run away in tears if they had to face what I do on a day to day basis.

By the end of the day I am always ready for a hot meal, so I swing by the burger joint, and then Dunkin' Donuts to talk about the events of the day with my buddies.
Being a hero to the townspeople must really take its toll. It's hard to believe there isn't a Mrs. Ofc. Richards.

What is your favorite place to get a burger? Most fast food restaurants make their burgers so tiny, one just isn't enough. I usually order at least two. Don't tell my doctor!


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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-08-2009, 05:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
Being a hero to the townspeople must really take its toll. It's hard to believe there isn't a Mrs. Ofc. Richards.

What is your favorite place to get a burger? Most fast food restaurants make their burgers so tiny, one just isn't enough. I usually order at least two. Don't tell my doctor!
I like McDonald's myself. I have a special where they stack four beef patties on one sandwich with three slices of cheese and six bacon strips. Two or three of those will hold me for the evening, and maybe a side of fries or two. Of course the adrenaline I experience during my duties burns off a lot of any minor traces of fat I take in.

I really have a lot of muscle here, I have to in order to keep the peace.

You say you're single, Sister Victory?
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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-08-2009, 06:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ofc. Don W. Richards View Post
I like McDonald's myself. I have a special where they stack four beef patties on one sandwich with three slices of cheese and six bacon strips. Two or three of those will hold me for the evening, and maybe a side of fries or two. Of course the adrenaline I experience during my duties burns off a lot of any minor traces of fat I take in.

I really have a lot of muscle here, I have to in order to keep the peace.

You say you're single, Sister Victory?

Oooooweeee, I feel a LVE connection coming on!!



Let me know if we need to set up a chaperone for you two.




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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-08-2009, 10:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Oooooweeee, I feel a LVE connection coming on!!



Let me know if we need to set up a chaperone for you two.
Zoo-keeping seems like a Chaperone qualification for these two... that and dietician.

I remind you both of the seven deadly sins and how gluttony always leads to lust and avarice.

Instead of directing the void of your useless lives to the pursuit of worldly excess I implore you both to visit a local Catholic Church and seek out the wisdom and guidance of a proper man of God and not the word of some haystack hillbilly harlot who has yet to figure out that Pastor Zeke has seen far more free milk than cow purchase receipts if you know what I mean.


Bless you, My myocardial miss-haps in Michigan
Father Mo



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Ofc. Don W. Richards is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Ofc. Don W. Richards is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Ofc. Don W. Richards is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Ofc. Don W. Richards is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Ofc. Don W. Richards is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Ofc. Don W. Richards is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Ofc. Don W. Richards is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Ofc. Don W. Richards is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Ofc. Don W. Richards is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Ofc. Don W. Richards is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Ofc. Don W. Richards is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-08-2009, 11:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
I remind you both of the seven deadly sins and how gluttony always leads to lust and avarice.
I am an Officer of the Law, I have nothing but duty and justice on my mind 24/7. I have had intense training to be in control of my mind and body.

Quote:
Instead of directing the void of your useless lives to the pursuit of worldly excess I implore you both to visit a local Catholic Church and seek out the wisdom and guidance of a proper man of God and not the word of some haystack hillbilly harlot who has yet to figure out that Pastor Zeke has seen far more free milk than cow purchase receipts if you know what I mean.
Okay sir, that's enough from you. The only business I have at a Catholic church is to slap the cuffs on the next pedo-perv that gets reported by a sobbing altar boy.

Now move along, nothing more for you to see here.
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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-09-2009, 04:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ofc. Don W. Richards View Post
I wasn't bestowed the honor of being added to the department's wall of fame for the most traffic citations issued in one shift by sitting around at home.
That IS impressive!

Why, I remember that day, when the service ran 20 minutes overtime and by the time we got out, there you were with your Meter Man cart, just finishing ticketing 350 cars!


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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-10-2009, 01:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ofc. Don W. Richards View Post
I like McDonald's myself. I have a special where they stack four beef patties on one sandwich with three slices of cheese and six bacon strips. Two or three of those will hold me for the evening, and maybe a side of fries or two. Of course the adrenaline I experience during my duties burns off a lot of any minor traces of fat I take in.

I really have a lot of muscle here, I have to in order to keep the peace.
Just a healthy, manly, Christian appetite you have! Chasing crooks and criminals through the yards of sleeping law-abiding citizens must take an awful lot of energy! It must be a lot of fun going to buffets with you. Not to brag, but I have the layouts at Ryan's memorized.

Quote:
You say you're single, Sister Victory?
Well yes, I do happen to be single at the moment.


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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-10-2009, 01:57 AM

Just my humble opinion....

But Officer Don and Victory OS would make a VERY CUTE couple! It would truly be a match made in Heaven. It's great to see a tool like the internet bring two people like this together.


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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-10-2009, 02:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Prophet Helmholtz View Post
Just my humble opinion....

But Officer Don and Victory OS would make a VERY CUTE couple! It would truly be a match made in Heaven. It's great to see a tool like the internet bring two people like this together.
I Couldn't Agree more Brother Mad Prophet Helmhltz I think They Whould Make a Wonderful Couple
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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-10-2009, 02:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Prophet Helmholtz View Post
Just my humble opinion....

But Officer Don and Victory OS would make a VERY CUTE couple! It would truly be a match made in Heaven. It's great to see a tool like the internet bring two people like this together.
Me three!

I hope I get to be a bridesmaid again this summer!




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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-10-2009, 02:45 AM

I could be persuaded into courting you, Ms. OS, if I can be assured that you will function as a proper True Christian wife and tend to your duties as I command, and not complain. Would it be possible for you to fax me a reference from your father or your closest living male relative?
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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-10-2009, 02:55 AM

Ugh, this is disgusting! Heterosexual "love"?

If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion to these hapless hippos...Officer Don, surely you could find a nice man down at the Police Station to share your love with? It is well-known that men who repress their homosexual urges often become cops. Why don't you open up a very special man's hidden personality and share it with him?

Victory, you can do a lot better than a MALE! Even one of these warped Christian females on here would be a better choice. Look, tomorrow night I'm going to a lecture on academic feminism at Berkeley, and I can leave your email address with some possible love interests? I do know a great woman, her name is Diana, who just broke up with her girlfriend. She plays the acoustic guitar and refuses to shave her body. She is also a practicing Wiccan. You and her would be a great match!



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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-10-2009, 03:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Tyeisha X View Post
Ugh, this is disgusting! Heterosexual "love"?

If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion to these hapless hippos...Officer Don, surely you could find a nice man down at the Police Station to share your love with? It is well-known that men who repress their homosexual urges often become cops. Why don't you open up a very special man's hidden personality and share it with him?

Victory, you can do a lot better than a MALE! Even one of these warped Christian females on here would be a better choice. Look, tomorrow night I'm going to a lecture on academic feminism at Berkeley, and I can leave your email address with some possible love interests? I do know a great woman, her name is Diana, who just broke up with her girlfriend. She plays the acoustic guitar and refuses to shave her body. She is also a practicing Wiccan. You and her would be a great match!

Okay ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of this thread and leave us alone.
This kind of belligerence is not something a Christian Cop approves of, and having been on the force since 1985, I know this better than anybody.
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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-10-2009, 03:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Tyeisha X View Post
Ugh, this is disgusting! Heterosexual "love"?

If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion to these hapless hippos...Officer Don, surely you could find a nice man down at the Police Station to share your love with? It is well-known that men who repress their homosexual urges often become cops. Why don't you open up a very special man's hidden personality and share it with him?

Victory, you can do a lot better than a MALE! Even one of these warped Christian females on here would be a better choice. Look, tomorrow night I'm going to a lecture on academic feminism at Berkeley, and I can leave your email address with some possible love interests? I do know a great woman, her name is Diana, who just broke up with her girlfriend. She plays the acoustic guitar and refuses to shave her body. She is also a practicing Wiccan. You and her would be a great match!
Once more you try to fill our site with your UCAL-BERKLEY drivel about we are all homo or lez. Just because you took lesbian studies at the most radical university in the country does not make you even close to being right. I do not have a homo bone in my body and have never lusted after men, that's disgusting.
I'm guessing you are here because you cannot possibly get a job with such a useless degree. Of course, I'm sure you graduated CUM LAUDE, since all you had to do is have lez sex with all your teachers. So take your trash elsewhere, youlez jezabel, we are not buying stupid here.


PS: a women that gives herself willingly is NOT rape. Not that a christian man would have anything to do with you.
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Angry Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-10-2009, 04:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Tyeisha X View Post
Ugh, this is disgusting! Heterosexual "love"?

If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion to these hapless hippos...Officer Don, surely you could find a nice man down at the Police Station to share your love with? It is well-known that men who repress their homosexual urges often become cops. Why don't you open up a very special man's hidden personality and share it with him?

Victory, you can do a lot better than a MALE! Even one of these warped Christian females on here would be a better choice. Look, tomorrow night I'm going to a lecture on academic feminism at Berkeley, and I can leave your email address with some possible love interests? I do know a great woman, her name is Diana, who just broke up with her girlfriend. She plays the acoustic guitar and refuses to shave her body. She is also a practicing Wiccan. You and her would be a great match!
You are a heterophobic feminazi that needs to learn proper etiquette on God's favorite forum.

It is not acceptable to post about your hairy transvestite lovers, and it is most certainly not ok to insult esteemed forum members as homosexuals.

And, if you hate males so much, why do you not hate male homosexual couples twice as much, hm? It is because your "arguments" are laden with holes in your "logic".



Proverbs 23:14- "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."


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Last edited by Tertius The Scribe; 06-10-2009 at 04:04 AM. Reason: X not z
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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-10-2009, 05:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Tyeisha X View Post
Ugh, this is disgusting! Heterosexual "love"?

If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion to these hapless hippos...Officer Don, surely you could find a nice man down at the Police Station to share your love with? It is well-known that men who repress their homosexual urges often become cops. Why don't you open up a very special man's hidden personality and share it with him?

Victory, you can do a lot better than a MALE! Even one of these warped Christian females on here would be a better choice. Look, tomorrow night I'm going to a lecture on academic feminism at Berkeley, and I can leave your email address with some possible love interests? I do know a great woman, her name is Diana, who just broke up with her girlfriend. She plays the acoustic guitar and refuses to shave her body. She is also a practicing Wiccan. You and her would be a great match!
You Sicken me That's just So Disgusting Why Don't you just go Troll some other site with your Stupid Lezbin Stuff Cause Nobody here wants Two hear it!
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Default Re: How to Land a Good Husband - 06-10-2009, 06:05 AM

Just Leave Us Good True Chrisians Alone you Sick Lesbian Profressor Tyeisha X
 

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