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Reload this Page CornCon, September 21-23, 2012
The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns.

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Default CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-04-2012, 11:52 PM

Since nobody else is starting the thread . . . I'm looking at you, Brother F-M

SausageFest was a raging success this year! I particularly enjoyed Brother Billy Bob's "Burns ya twice" bratwurst!

Next up on the calendar is CornCon.

The harvest will be in, there will be fresh corn on the cob . . . cornbread . . . corndogs . . . corn pudding . . . creamed corn . . . and don't forget the Cornhole competition!

What's your favorite thing to do at CornCon? Me, I love getting together with the guys for an afternoon of Cornholing.



Ladies, what treats will you be whipping up for us?


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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-05-2012, 12:09 AM

Though I will not be able to attend (my passport has expired or something) may I offer my services to design a medal for the CobGobbling competition? I heard that the winners from previous years were awarded a pearl necklace, but they don't show well when reduced to icon size (~25 pixels or less).


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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-05-2012, 12:25 AM

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Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Though I will not be able to attend (my passport has expired or something) may I offer my services to design a medal for the CobGobbling competition? I heard that the winners from previous years were awarded a pearl necklace, but they don't show well when reduced to icon size (~25 pixels or less).
Ah, and a title, "Top CobGobbler", might be nice.


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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-05-2012, 08:19 PM

Reverend Rodimer, I'm sorry I didn't start a thread. I've been agonizing over this matter for quite some time, debating with myself whether I should even say anything, but I guess you've forced my hand, so I may as well get this off my chest and let the chips fall where they may.

To be brutally honest with you, I have a concern. You may recall an old thread of mine in which I proved conclusively that eating corn on the cob can lead to oral sex.

I hate to be the "Debbie Downer" who rains on the CornCon parade, but I strongly feel the organizers should consider one of two options:

1) Ban all corn-on-the cob eating, restricting the event to creamed corn, corn meal, corn-off-the-cob, and whatnot.

or

2) Restrict attendance to men only, specifically men who are certified True Christians™ who are known to be strong in their walks with Jesus. No women, no children, no queers, and no unsaved persons.

I realize either option would dramatically alter the character of this event, and I'm very sorry I waited until the last possible moment to bring this up. I will be praying that the Lord will be with the organizers of CornCon and guide them in their decision-making process.


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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-05-2012, 10:38 PM

You can count on the Hutchins family in whipping up their famous creamed corn, both varieties (twice ground and hand churned butter soaked).

Of course, only male members in good standing will be there. I so do love a good husking circle!


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-06-2012, 05:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Reverend Rodimer, I'm sorry I didn't start a thread. I've been agonizing over this matter for quite some time, debating with myself whether I should even say anything, but I guess you've forced my hand, so I may as well get this off my chest and let the chips fall where they may.

To be brutally honest with you, I have a concern. You may recall an old thread of mine in which I proved conclusively that eating corn on the cob can lead to oral sex.

I hate to be the "Debbie Downer" who rains on the CornCon parade, but I strongly feel the organizers should consider one of two options:

1) Ban all corn-on-the cob eating, restricting the event to creamed corn, corn meal, corn-off-the-cob, and whatnot.

or

2) Restrict attendance to men only, specifically men who are certified True Christians™ who are known to be strong in their walks with Jesus. No women, no children, no queers, and no unsaved persons.

I realize either option would dramatically alter the character of this event, and I'm very sorry I waited until the last possible moment to bring this up. I will be praying that the Lord will be with the organizers of CornCon and guide them in their decision-making process.
Are you suggesting, Brother, that the fine True Christian™ Ladies of Landover could be tempted into sin by a "Best CobGobbler" contest?

Is that what you're suggesting of Sister Mary Etheldreda?

Is that what you think of Mistress Cookie and innocent little Felicity?

Is it your opinion that Mrs. Betty Bowers herself would be turned into a semen-gargling gutter whore by sinking her perfectly polished teeth into a plump, juicy ear of God's bounty?

Well? Is it?


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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-06-2012, 05:52 AM

It is my opinion that the men of the Landover Baptist Church should protect the women and children so that Satan never has an opportunity to provide us with answers to those lurid and disturbing questions!



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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-06-2012, 06:45 AM

My father never lets me eat vegetables, my grandfather says Satan only invented those to destroy my soul.


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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-06-2012, 07:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
It is my opinion that the men of the Landover Baptist Church should protect the women and children so that Satan never has an opportunity to provide us with answers to those lurid and disturbing questions!

I think your overreacting brother. CornCon is nothing more than wholesome family fun. A good example is the CobCatch, where young boys and girls have to catch a hot buttered cob of corn that's been thrown in the air using anything but their hands. My oldest daughter came in third last year.


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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-06-2012, 08:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Godfly View Post
I think your overreacting brother. CornCon is nothing more than wholesome family fun. A good example is the CobCatch, where young boys and girls have to catch a hot buttered cob of corn that's been thrown in the air using anything but their hands. My oldest daughter came in third last year.
She is quite the little CobCatcher, isn't she?

And wasn't your second son the top CobGobbler?


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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-06-2012, 08:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
She is quite the little CobCatcher, isn't she?

And wasn't your second son the top CobGobbler?
They never proved that boy was mine.


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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-06-2012, 09:06 PM

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Originally Posted by Godfly View Post
They never proved that boy was mine.
I thought you'd be proud to father a master CobGobbler. It was like he had no gag reflex at all!

Sorry.


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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-06-2012, 09:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
I thought you'd be proud to father a master CobGobbler. It was like he had no gag reflex at all!

Sorry.
Every time a Mexican shoots out a white baby the rumor starts that he's kin to me. That boy is the grounds keeper at the RV park.


Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-06-2012, 09:30 PM

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Originally Posted by Godfly View Post
Every time a Mexican shoots out a white baby the rumor starts that he's kin to me. That boy is the grounds keeper at the RV park.
Oh, the one you own, just outside the wall? How kind of you to give a job to a mongrelized bastard instead of a fine True Christian™.

Say, how did that fellow get into CornCon, anyway?


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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-06-2012, 09:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Oh, the one you own, just outside the wall? How kind of you to give a job to a mongrelized bastard instead of a fine True Christian™.

Say, how did that fellow get into CornCon, anyway?
Someone had to carry my deck chair and umbrella. The sun can be cruel to a bald man's scalp. I'll keep him on leash if he comes this year.


Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-06-2012, 10:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Godfly View Post
Someone had to carry my deck chair and umbrella. The sun can be cruel to a bald man's scalp. I'll keep him on leash if he comes this year.
It's just that he won the prize, you know . . .

I guess he could enter the contest again, just if his front teeth are removed so he doesn't win. A True Christian™ should be the top CobGobbler, don't you think?

What other games are on the line for this year?

We have Cornholing, CobGobbling, Cobcatching; I'm pretty sure Mistress Cookie will be heading up her "Speed Shucking" contest, right?

It's amazing to see some of the young folk shuck! They just get right down to business, and really love to put on a show.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-14-2012, 06:22 PM

Are we having the "Used Car Battery Toss" contest this year Reverend? I've got 5 old ones begging to be tossed into the lake!!

I've been working my right arm all year! I am taking home the trophy this time!!
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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-18-2012, 01:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
Are we having the "Used Car Battery Toss" contest this year Reverend? I've got 5 old ones begging to be tossed into the lake!!

I've been working my right arm all year! I am taking home the trophy this time!!
That's a good question . . . Brother Deaner is usually in charge of that game.

Don't forget your rubber gloves. Remember what happened last year to Brother Mike . . . he couldn't use his hand for a month after the acid burns.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-21-2012, 09:16 PM

I've just arrived at the airport, and am waiting to be picked up. Brother Deaner left a voice mail, but it was a bit garbled. Said he was going to take me "up the old dirt road", so I guess that's a scenic route I haven't been on before. I guess the views are incredible, because he said I'd "see God".

How exciting! I wish I'd remembered my camera.


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Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012 - 09-21-2012, 09:27 PM

In case Brother Deaner is busy, I'll send one of my sons to pick you up. I assume you still like roasted freshly killed meat?


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