[Nobar King]

This is going to be a list thread for foreigners where you add ways to not ruin the U.S.A. after immigration.

1. Leave your religion at home.
2. Follow American laws
3. Stop littering
4. Kids play baseball, not soccer
5. Learn English, already!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

6. Find a job right away! Don't come here and expect a free welfare check. But, don't get a good job either, because you'll be stealing them away from Americans.

7. Name your kids good ol' American names like John, Joseph, or James. No more Pedros, Wangs, or Muhammads.

8. You will salute the American flag and burn all flags belonging to your native country.

9. If you're going to move here, please stay in your own country's ghetto in a large urban city, so you won't be our neighbors and we'll know where you are and how to avoid you.

10. Dress in American fashion. Don't wear sombreros or burkas. Wear American-flag T-shirts, shorts, and fanny packs. Wal-Mart is an excellent place for clothes.

[Levi Jones]

11. No more bloody Jesus candles.
12. No more plastic nativity scenes, except during Christmas.
13. No pink flamingos in the yard. Maybe I could tell if pink flamingos had moved into the neighborhood if they had plastic Mexicans in the lawn.
14. Quit throwing such fabulous parties that I am not invited to. It makes me want to call the cops.
15. No, I will not buy your stinking tamales. If you wanted my business, you would have made hamburgers.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne

6. Find a job right away! Don't come here and expect a free welfare check. But, don't get a good job either, because you'll be stealing them away from Americans.

7. Name your kids good ol' American names like John, Joseph, or James. No more Pedros, Wangs, or Muhammads.

8. You will salute the American flag and burn all flags belonging to your native country.

9. If you're going to move here, please stay in your own country's ghetto in a large urban city, so you won't be our neighbors and we'll know where you are and how to avoid you.

10. Dress in American fashion. Don't wear sombreros or burkas. Wear American-flag T-shirts, shorts, and fanny packs. Wal-Mart is an excellent place for clothes.

I would like to elaborate on #7 if I may. No new fangled zulu negro names like Epyqfni = pronounced "phonetically" as "Mike". What the heck is up with that! there is no M there at all!

[Meek and Humble]

16. Do not get married to any REAL Americans.

17. Do not make smelly food of your native country. Eat only what we eat.

18. Let your children learn their place early in life so they don't steal all of our scholarships and honor roll spots.

19. Don't be a burden on us tax payers - get your children in the work force as soon as possible.

20. Be prepard to work for less money than we do, and be damn happy about it!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Oh, and when you build churches to house your false religions, make the roofs look like chruches, not mushrooms.

[James Dewitt]

Do not come to a retailer and expect me to learn your language, my job is to take your money and not translate why. And no I am not running a flea market where you can pay for a washer and dryer with 2 camels and a danm goat.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Do not have ethnic-heritage festivals, and especially do not expect us to shut down major streets in Washington or New York so that you can do so. If you're so proud of your heritage, celebrate it in your own country, and shut the streets of your own major cities (if your country has any).

Do not open restaurants featuring your country's cooking. If you absolutely must do so, at least adapt it to fit red-state American palates, even if that means altering it beyond recognition. Only other foreigners and blue-state hipsters want to eat your country's authentic food, and the hipsters are just faking it to impress other hipsters.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Leran what soap and toilet paper are for (keep wiping until the paper is clean).

Use deoderant and mouthwash regularly.

Sty off our beaches and out of our parks. Those are for us to use.

[Casanova]

Yerr you mexican scum you better learn are language!

[Casanova]

Just dont move to America, Seems as if even your own country has more freedom!

[Bob4God]

Originally Posted by Casanova

Just dont move to America, Seems as if even your own country has more freedom!

This is actually good advice. All of the people worthy of living in America moved here ages ago and liberated it from the hands of savage Indian squatters.

It might be nice if a lot of you who have moved here already went back home to your native country.

[Mistress Cookie]

Please don't relentlessly "undress" us with your eyes!
.

[H. Montague Worthington]

If you happen to hear an ethnic slur yelled at you behind your back, you'd best just keep walking.

[Jo Freddie]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

5.Learn English, already!

This will not help you as they do not use English in the usa, they don't even use the same alphabet for example the last letter of the English alphabet is pronounced ZED not Zee.

[James Dewitt]

Turn down the boom boom stereos in your cars, people two blocks away do not need to hear it. Nigras and messicans must be deaf!

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

In the case of the British that want to come here;

* I would strongly urge that if you are one of those British deviants that like to be whipped, caned, and/or buggered, just stay in Godless Britain.

* if you display the 'classic' British mincing, prancing, sniggering homo mannerisms that all of us Godly Americans loathe, just stay in Godless Britain

* if you dote on the Queen and the rest of the Royal Family, be advised, we do not cotton to that here, and you should just stay in Godless Britain

* if you think the ghastly British food is edible (Bovril, marmite, eels, faggots and mash, etc.) please note we don't have any of that homo horror food here, and you should just stay in Godless Britain.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Originally Posted by Oakland "Reb" Griner

In the case of the British that want to come here;

* I would strongly urge that if you are one of those British deviants that like to be whipped, caned, and/or buggered, just stay in Godless Britain.

* if you display the 'classic' British mincing, prancing, sniggering homo mannerisms that all of us Godly Americans loathe, just stay in Godless Britain

* if you dote on the Queen and the rest of the Royal Family, be advised, we do not cotton to that here, and you should just stay in Godless Britain

* if you think the ghastly British food is edible (Bovril, marmite, eels, faggots and mash, etc.) please note we don't have any of that homo horror food here, and you should just stay in Godless Britain.

Thank you, Brother Griner!! You are OH so right!!!

The wimpy homo British Eurotrash deviants (such as Sir Elton John, Oscar Wilde, Sir Ian McKellen, Quentin Crisp, Freddie Mercury, Andrew Sullivan, Boy George, Hugh Grant, Joe Orton, Sir Richard Attenborough, David Beckham, Rowan Atkinson, Tony Blair, Patrick Stewart, Dame Judy Dench, George Best, Leslie Howard, Sir Paul McCartney, etc.) become aroused by eating the terrible British food. It is bordering on S&M.

P.S. I have been told that British homersexurals have a code: if you have "Sir" in front of your name, it means you're a whory bottom always ready for hot action.

[Once was lost]

I'm not an American but I do have the privilege of living next door to God's favorite country. Thank you Jesus for that gift.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Originally Posted by Oakland "Reb" Griner

* if you dote on the Queen and the rest of the Royal Family, be advised, we do not cotton to that here, and you should just stay in Godless Britain

Indeed. The blue states already have public facilities named after queens; about the last thing we need to do is to encourage that nonsense.