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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-18-2010, 05:40 PM

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Originally Posted by Dirk View Post
the Annual Endangere Species Dinner
I love those, I wonder what we are going to eat this year!


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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-18-2010, 05:59 PM

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Originally Posted by Dirk View Post
Update regarding the Freehold Summer Stoning Festival

There is no fee since it is paid for by our Lord. There will be a BBQ after the festival ends.
Pastor Zeke had plans to make the BBQ coincide with the Annual Endangere Species Dinner, more information on the BBQ will follow soon!
I'm planning to deliver a welcome to everyone on behalf of the City of Freehold. I've inquired, but have not heard back, as to which Landover Pastor will provide the opening prayer.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-18-2010, 06:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
I love those, I wonder what we are going to eat this year!
Can you say polar bear?

Anyhow as most of you know , WE cannot actually stone anyone, I did not make the rules, do not blame me. I have tested many different targets ranging from trees to trampolines( stay away from them I still have a bump on my head). I have found a solution to the problem. 3 days ago I turned on the TV to catch the 700 club, I missed the correct channel and tuned into a show called myth busters. They ( the two people on the show) had created a dummy from something called Ballistics Gel. The people on the show where shooting it with a rifle. It seems that this ballistics gel has the same characteristics as human flesh. I contacted the boys at Landover R&D and discussed the show with them. We have a solution, a dummy made up of ballistics gel with an internal bone structure( do not ask where we got the bones) and we have found a way to place placebo blood under the exterior of the dummy( under the false skin).
By Monday the dummy should be cured and ready for further testing. attached are some photos from the R& D team.
Attached Images
    
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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-18-2010, 07:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
I love those, I wonder what we are going to eat this year!
Here you can see what was planned. You even posted in the thread! You probably forgot, but you're old so we forgive you.
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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-18-2010, 08:49 PM

Brother Dewitt, I understand secular law (damn feel good, everyone is special demoncrats) forbids deliberate stoning. For the sake of argument (certainly not debate) lets say all the True Christians™ were seated in the Landover Amphitheater. And all the whores, harlots, God Mockers, False Christians, Denmarkians and the rest of the unsavory trash were standing in the field. Lets say you were on the other side of the theater from me and you asked to see one of my stones and as a good True Christian™ I did my best to oblige. Now I am not as strong as I was in my youth, my fast ball is under 100 mph these days and fairly inaccurate. I think we should consult with Ofc. Don Richards and the Landover Baptist Church joo legal team. What is the liability of an accident happens and we had forced those in the field to sign waivers. Just trying to think outside the box here.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-18-2010, 11:54 PM

What if we had a truckload of stones at the top of a cliff and just "accidentally" dumped it on some sinners?


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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-19-2010, 12:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Brother Dewitt, I understand secular law (damn feel good, everyone is special demoncrats) forbids deliberate stoning. For the sake of argument (certainly not debate) lets say all the True Christians™ were seated in the Landover Amphitheater. And all the whores, harlots, God Mockers, False Christians, Denmarkians and the rest of the unsavory trash were standing in the field. Lets say you were on the other side of the theater from me and you asked to see one of my stones and as a good True Christian™ I did my best to oblige. Now I am not as strong as I was in my youth, my fast ball is under 100 mph these days and fairly inaccurate. I think we should consult with Ofc. Don Richards and the Landover Baptist Church joo legal team. What is the liability of an accident happens and we had forced those in the field to sign waivers. Just trying to think outside the box here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
What if we had a truckload of stones at the top of a cliff and just "accidentally" dumped it on some sinners?
Gentlemen thank you both for raising these serious questions. I think that an amendment to the liability clause is needed for the up and coming event. It would behove us to add the language that LBC and its members are not liable for any errant stonings. God forbid that a truck load of stones where to fall one by one on a sinner or a off target toss where to strike a homersexural on the head repeatedly by accident , we sure would want to be covered by law. I will consult with my partner, Brother Dirk and our 7 joo lawyers on the matter. YIC James Dewitt
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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-19-2010, 01:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirk View Post
Here you can see what was planned. You even posted in the thread! You probably forgot, but you're old so we forgive you.
Hm, it seems you are right. Thank you for reminding me.


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Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-19-2010, 01:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
Can you say polar bear?

Anyhow as most of you know , WE cannot actually stone anyone, I did not make the rules, do not blame me. I have tested many different targets ranging from trees to trampolines( stay away from them I still have a bump on my head). I have found a solution to the problem. 3 days ago I turned on the TV to catch the 700 club, I missed the correct channel and tuned into a show called myth busters. They ( the two people on the show) had created a dummy from something called Ballistics Gel. The people on the show where shooting it with a rifle. It seems that this ballistics gel has the same characteristics as human flesh. I contacted the boys at Landover R&D and discussed the show with them. We have a solution, a dummy made up of ballistics gel with an internal bone structure( do not ask where we got the bones) and we have found a way to place placebo blood under the exterior of the dummy( under the false skin).
By Monday the dummy should be cured and ready for further testing. attached are some photos from the R& D team.
That is truly glorious, brother. Perhaps we may even put make-up on the obviously-male dummy. I will have a more clear conscious knowing exactly why I am stoning the dummy.
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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-19-2010, 02:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GodIsAlmighty View Post
That is truly glorious, brother. Perhaps we may even put make-up on the obviously-male dummy. I will have a more clear conscious knowing exactly why I am stoning the dummy.
We have before us a genuine "teaching moment". That is, a time to teach about the practice of stoning and who will be the target of the stones after we have returned it to it's rightful place in the judicial system.

Perhaps someone could assist me here. The dummies we will use for targets need to have proper labels. That is, we would want to stone the same kind of people today that were stoned in Biblical times. Thus, we need labels that reflect Biblical teachings.

It seems one label and target of stones would be a dummy labeled "Harlot". Certainly, we would want a target labeled "Atheist", even though the term is more recent than the Bible.

Please pass along other suggestions and I will order the labels from Freehold's City Print Shop. Thank you.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-19-2010, 06:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
We have before us a genuine "teaching moment". That is, a time to teach about the practice of stoning and who will be the target of the stones after we have returned it to it's rightful place in the judicial system.

Perhaps someone could assist me here. The dummies we will use for targets need to have proper labels. That is, we would want to stone the same kind of people today that were stoned in Biblical times. Thus, we need labels that reflect Biblical teachings.

It seems one label and target of stones would be a dummy labeled "Harlot". Certainly, we would want a target labeled "Atheist", even though the term is more recent than the Bible.

Please pass along other suggestions and I will order the labels from Freehold's City Print Shop. Thank you.
Would it be appropriate to have one labled as "Bob Dole"? From what we see Downunder he appears to be Satans apprentice...Just a thought from and uninformed Australian


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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-19-2010, 04:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Swish Davidson View Post
Would it be appropriate to have one labled as "Bob Dole"? From what we see Downunder he appears to be Satans apprentice...Just a thought from and uninformed Australian
I'll have to refer this to our Biblical scholars. He may well be a budding Satan.

I'd only say on his behalf that he was a TV pitchman for Viagra a few years ago. Many of the elderly men at Landover Baptist appreciated his good work.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-19-2010, 09:55 PM

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Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
We have before us a genuine "teaching moment". That is, a time to teach about the practice of stoning and who will be the target of the stones after we have returned it to it's rightful place in the judicial system.

Perhaps someone could assist me here. The dummies we will use for targets need to have proper labels. That is, we would want to stone the same kind of people today that were stoned in Biblical times. Thus, we need labels that reflect Biblical teachings.

It seems one label and target of stones would be a dummy labeled "Harlot". Certainly, we would want a target labeled "Atheist", even though the term is more recent than the Bible.

Please pass along other suggestions and I will order the labels from Freehold's City Print Shop. Thank you.
Fornicators

Sodomites

Idolaters

Kidnappers

Perjured Persons

Whoremongers


These I got directly from the KJV1611, Mayor.

YIC,

Mrs.P.Wintersnow






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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-20-2010, 02:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. P Wintersnow View Post
Fornicators

Sodomites

Idolaters

Kidnappers

Perjured Persons

Whoremongers


These I got directly from the KJV1611, Mayor.

YIC,

Mrs.P.Wintersnow
God bless you, Mrs. Wintersnow. That is just what I was looking for.

I will have our Sign Department began preparing these immediately.

Now, if folks have ideas for stoning targets that compliment these from the KJV 1611, the Management of the Festival is open to considering them. I must add, however, that we are not particularly fond of having stone thrown at dummies representing popular Republican politicans, even if some think they fit the KJV 1611 catagories. This is, afterall, a True Christian™ event.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-20-2010, 02:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
ballistics gel has the same characteristics as human flesh. I contacted the boys at Landover R&D and discussed the show with them. We have a solution, a dummy made up of ballistics gel with an internal bone structure( do not ask where we got the bones) and we have found a way to place placebo blood under the exterior of the dummy( under the false skin).
By Monday the dummy should be cured and ready for further testing. attached are some photos from the R& D team.
I am truly impressed with your dedication to this project. Will the ballistics gel just repel the rocks? You might need some projectiles with sharp edges to penetrate that stuff.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-20-2010, 03:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
God bless you, Mrs. Wintersnow. That is just what I was looking for.

I will have our Sign Department began preparing these immediately.

Now, if folks have ideas for stoning targets that compliment these from the KJV 1611, the Management of the Festival is open to considering them. I must add, however, that we are not particularly fond of having stone thrown at dummies representing popular Republican politicans, even if some think they fit the KJV 1611 catagories. This is, afterall, a True Christian™ event.
Mayor, Have you considered putting in a couple of ''good guys'' where the children might be penalized for their aiming at the wrong targets, especially if they are wearing placards describing their sins. After all they need to understand the right and wrong when doing anything. My suggestion, as penalty, would be public humiliation, place the offending children in stocks and the other children can mock them.


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-20-2010, 03:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
God bless you, Mrs. Wintersnow. That is just what I was looking for.

I will have our Sign Department began preparing these immediately.

Now, if folks have ideas for stoning targets that compliment these from the KJV 1611, the Management of the Festival is open to considering them. I must add, however, that we are not particularly fond of having stone thrown at dummies representing popular Republican politicans, even if some think they fit the KJV 1611 catagories. This is, afterall, a True Christian™ event.
Here's some more from the KJV1611:

Adulterers
Deceivers
Drunkards
The Foolish
Hypocrites
The Lazy
Liars
The Proud
The Wicked
Witches & Sorcerers


PROOF: America in the Bible!
8 REASONS WHY GOD HATES THE FAROE ISLANDS!



The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.
(Psalm 9:17)

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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-20-2010, 03:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aim for heaven View Post
Mayor, Have you considered putting in a couple of ''good guys'' where the children might be penalized for their aiming at the wrong targets, especially if they are wearing placards describing their sins. After all they need to understand the right and wrong when doing anything. My suggestion, as penalty, would be public humiliation, place the offending children in stocks and the other children can mock them.
Aim--This seems to me quite in keeping with the theme of the event. We would want children who succumbed to temptation, or, were careless in their choices, to be punished.

Perhaps you could post up the scripture you were thinking about as part of this contribution to the Freehold Summer Stoning Festival.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-20-2010, 03:43 AM

I would like to make a special presentation to the youth group in reference to Deuteronomy 21:18-21.

If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;
And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.
And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: Have You started collecting stones? - 06-20-2010, 03:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
I would like to make a special presentation to the youth group in reference to Deuteronomy 21:18-21.

If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;
And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.
And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
Great idea, Brother Levi. There can be nothing more important to teach children than that the Bible tells us to stone them to death if they disobey.

If only the children and parents in every "Christian" Church could see your presentation. Of course, that is the purpose of our Festival, to point out that stoning is an important part of the Christian life.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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