The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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Posts: 23
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Hi, I'm Amelia [Young but wise as a serpent] -
06-29-2022, 10:23 PM
Hey, I'm Amelia. I'm from Australia and I'm 21. I attend Influencers Church and my favourite verse is the all time famous John 3:16! Looking forward to meeting you all, so please don't be shy, and say hi
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,171
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Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-29-2022, 10:38 PM
Welcome Amelia--We here at Landover Baptist are always happy to meet new Christians. Would you call your church "Bible based?"
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-29-2022, 10:53 PM
Hello Amelia, welcome! How many children do you have?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Posts: 23
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-29-2022, 11:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
Welcome Amelia--We here at Landover Baptist are always happy to meet new Christians. Would you call your church "Bible based?"
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Hello to you too I do have my doubts about it nowadays so my attendance there is starting to dwindle. I mostly go there to socialise and help with the cleaning and get my teachings from YouTube. There's some pretty good stuff there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Hello Amelia, welcome! How many children do you have?
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Thank you I don't have any kids at present but I hope that'll change in the near future.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-29-2022, 11:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30
Thank you I don't have any kids at present but I hope that'll change in the near future.
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Oh dear, that's a shame. My daughters are all married by 13 or 14, thank Jesus. Mr. Etheldreda would die of shame if he had a spinster daughter at your age still at home. Are you particularly ugly, dear? Or fat? Maybe we can help.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,765
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-29-2022, 11:49 PM
Hi, Amelia, and welcome to God's favorite church™, Landover Baptist.
I'm glad to hear that you love the Lord, but I'd be careful with this "influencer" church. "Influencer" usually means "infidel." Getting your Bible messages online could lead to such heresies as supporting abortion "rights" or gun control or free healthcare for poor people, and that would make Jesus sad.
Stick with us and you'll learn what the Bible is really all about!
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-29-2022, 11:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30
Hey, I'm Amelia. I'm from Australia and I'm 21. I attend Influencers Church and my favourite verse is the all time famous John 3:16! Looking forward to meeting you all, so please don't be shy, and say hi
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John's Gospel is a lovely testimony helping us to understand that Jesus made the world John 1:3 just as much as the historical fact of His begetting.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. With that love comes a little sadness, not for Christians obviously, but for the second class implied there: those who do not believe. John also wrote three wonderful letters III John 1:11 and a future history containing many accurate details about the present day. For him this is the future. Other things in our past were also future events for him and some (less every day) remain future events for both of us.
Which campus are you associated with? Welcome to the forum.
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-30-2022, 12:35 AM
It would be accurate to call Jesus Christ the most successful influencer in the history of creation. However, most people now calling themselves "influencers" are the worst kinds of degenerate sinners, painted whores and effete queers and uppity negroes. No Christian should have anything to do with such worthless filth.
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-30-2022, 12:44 AM
https://australia.influencers.church/
Looks more like a sunset strip rock club than an actual church. There's even a guy making the "Devil horns" gesture! Does your choir have spitting contests with the audience?
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-30-2022, 12:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
https://australia.influencers.church/
Looks more like a sunset strip rock club than an actual church. There's even a guy making the "Devil horns" gesture! Does your choir have spitting contests with the audience?
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Repulsive. This page is pretty slick though. Landover could use something like this.
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Posts: 23
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-30-2022, 01:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Oh dear, that's a shame. My daughters are all married by 13 or 14, thank Jesus. Mr. Etheldreda would die of shame if he had a spinster daughter at your age still at home. Are you particularly ugly, dear? Or fat? Maybe we can help.
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No, it's not that. At least I don't think it is. I suppose it's more that I'm not really looking for anyone at the moment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow
Hi, Amelia, and welcome to God's favorite church™, Landover Baptist.
I'm glad to hear that you love the Lord, but I'd be careful with this "influencer" church. "Influencer" usually means "infidel." Getting your Bible messages online could lead to such heresies as supporting abortion "rights" or gun control or free healthcare for poor people, and that would make Jesus sad.
Stick with us and you'll learn what the Bible is really all about!
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Thank you for the welcome. I'm pretty cautious with which teachings I listen to these days. I prefer people who explain the scriptures rather than try to make an inspirational tape out of them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
John's Gospel is a lovely testimony helping us to understand that Jesus made the world John 1:3 just as much as the historical fact of His begetting. John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Which campus are you associated with? Welcome to the forum.
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Aww, adorable Koala! John's Gospel is pretty cool.
If you're referring to the Influencers Church campus I usually visit the Paradise one but it varies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes
It would be accurate to call Jesus Christ the most successful influencer in the history of creation.
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Well, he is God after all
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-30-2022, 01:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30
Thank you for the welcome. I'm pretty cautious with which teachings I listen to these days. I prefer people who explain the scriptures rather than try to make an inspirational tape out of them.
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This is a good instinct. Nobody explains scripture better than the pastors here at Landover. You should definitely listen to them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30
Aww, adorable Koala!
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Actually I've heard they're nasty, stupid varmints. You'd think an Australian would know that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30
If you're referring to the Influencers Church campus I usually visit the Paradise one but it varies.
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Have you considered attending a church that looks like a church instead of an EDM concert?
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-30-2022, 02:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes
Actually I've heard they're nasty, stupid varmints. You'd think an Australian would know that.
Have you considered attending a church that looks like a church instead of an EDM concert?
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Yup, they are super nasty creatures with nasty claws that'll rip your face off
Nah, I've never actually seen one up close so I don't know exactly how bad they are.
I think there's one near here I checked out a while back. Might give it another check.
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-30-2022, 02:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30
I think there's one near here I checked out a while back. Might give it another check.
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The first thing you'll want to do when considering a new church (this is information for your husband, obviously he's the one who'll be making decisions not you) is check which version of the Bible they're using. If it's the 1611 King James Version, that's a good sign. If it's any other version, leave immediately and never go back - they're not Christians.
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-30-2022, 02:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30
Hey, I'm Amelia. I'm from Australia...
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Hello Sheila, how's the billy boiling? Been grabbing any jumbucks lately?
Praise Jesus for guiding you towards possible albeit unlikely (Matthew 7:14) Salvation®. How badly traumatized are you after seeing all that ovine bestiality and hearing all the yodeling in your mountainous homeland? I must say that considering the German roots of your people - and that Mr. Hitler was born there - your American is quite good. We can help you improve on that and many of us can some Austrian expressions! I have here your favorite verse in your native tongue for you to see one more time before discarding that Babel-derived guttural nonsense for pure American!
John 3:16
God i gat wanpela Pikinini tasol i stap. Tasol God i laikim tumas olgeta manmeri bilong graun, olsem na em i givim dispela wanpela Pikinini long ol. Em i mekim olsem bilong olgeta manmeri i bilip long em ol i no ken lus. Nogat. Bai ol i kisim laip i stap gut oltaim oltaim.
I just love the way Jesus channeled by John builds up Great Expectations in John 3:16 and then only two verses on reveals the conditions of His Love!
John 3:18
He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
Please start begetting soon or you'll be condemned!
1 Timothy 2:15
Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-30-2022, 02:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White
Hello Sheila, how's the billy boiling? Been grabbing any jumbucks lately?
Please start begetting soon or you'll be condemned!
1 Timothy 2:15
Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes
The first thing you'll want to do when considering a new church (this is information for your husband, obviously he's the one who'll be making decisions not you) is check which version of the Bible they're using. If it's the 1611 King James Version, that's a good sign. If it's any other version, leave immediately and never go back - they're not Christians.
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These might be a bit difficult to accomplish due to the unavoidable fact of me being single.
What's wrong with the NASB1995 or ESV?
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-30-2022, 03:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30
...What's wrong with the NASB1995 or ESV?
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Short version: words have meanings. They changed the words, so they changed the meaning. The KJV is already perfectly ununderstandable, so why mess with it?
Long version: you can start here.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-30-2022, 07:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond
a guy making the "Devil horns"
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Is he also doing duck face? I might have the wrong picture, though.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-30-2022, 07:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelia30
Aww, adorable Koala! John's Gospel is pretty cool.
If you're referring to the Influencers Church campus I usually visit the Paradise one but it varies.
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I'm glad you liked the koala. I gather they have claws and are probably fairly strong – but lighter than wombats. If the Paradise campus is in Adelaide, that would be fairly near to Morialta Falls, would it?
When the king decided to get a decent English text for The Bible, there was a lot of opposition because he required the original documents to be used, rather than assorted Latin efforts done by another, idolatrous, creed. The use of idols makes me sick but in many places they're being set up again, masquerading as "saints" or even "Jesuses" of various types. When I say masquerading, I mean that claims are made. The objects themselves aren't capable of anything——being completely inert——but are held up as "marvellous" or "wonderful" or "culture" (whatever that means) and Bibles have been composed to vaguely endorse those claims. Previously, just reading The Bible was enough to get heads chopped off or mass burnings alive at the stake. After Queen Mary's reign, as "bloody Mary" appropriately enough, her sister took over and before long King James was able to produce The Bible we use today.
Heretics tried to blow him up; some things never change.
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Re: Hi, I'm Amelia -
06-30-2022, 09:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
I'm glad you liked the koala. I gather they have claws and are probably fairly strong – but lighter than wombats. If the Paradise campus is in Adelaide, that would be fairly near to Morialta Falls, would it?
When the king decided to get a decent English text for The Bible, there was a lot of opposition because he required the original documents to be used, rather than assorted Latin efforts done by another, idolatrous, creed. The use of idols makes me sick but in many places they're being set up again, masquerading as "saints" or even "Jesuses" of various types. When I say masquerading, I mean that claims are made. The objects themselves aren't capable of anything——being completely inert——but are held up as "marvellous" or "wonderful" or "culture" (whatever that means) and Bibles have been composed to vaguely endorse those claims. Previously, just reading The Bible was enough to get heads chopped off or mass burnings alive at the stake. After Queen Mary's reign, as "bloody Mary" appropriately enough, her sister took over and before long King James was able to produce The Bible we use today.
Heretics tried to blow him up; some things never change.
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I did, thank you I think they're cute but I'd never hold one. They're like spiders, adorable and scary at the same time
It would be close yes. Why do you ask?
History is fascinating isn't it? I did some research on the KJV a while back. I read that King James didn't like the Calvinist column notes in the Geneva Bible (which has enough history of it's own). The commonfolk widely used the Geneva bible because it was easy to understand and the notes inside explained the passages. The bible the churches used was called the Bishops Bible which was too grandiose. I think the KJV kinda sits in the middle.
When he discovered most people weren't buying the KJV he banned printing of the Geneva Bible.
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