[Bob4God]

Last night I was in Des Moines at a going-out-of-business sale of a gun shop there. I had parked a couple blocks away because there was a lot of traffic when I arrived.

By the time I left the sale, I was carting two big boxes of hand guns and ammo back to my truck late at night when I passed by an alley from which there was emanating some kind of commotion.

It was dark, but I could clearly discern two young men in the early stages of subduing a young woman and removing her clothes to rape her.

My first reaction was to run away so as not to witness the act of unmarried sex, but then I remembered the Bible says:

1 Behold, the day of the LORD cometh, and thy spoil shall be divided in the midst of thee.


2 For I will gather all nations against Jerusalem to battle; and the city shall be taken, and the houses rifled, and the women ravished; and half of the city shall go forth into captivity, and the residue of the people shall not be cut off from the city.


In addition it also says in Isaiah:



18 In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon,

19 The chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers,

20 The bonnets, and the ornaments of the legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the earrings,

21 The rings, and nose jewels,

22 The changeable suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping pins,

23 The glasses, and the fine linen, and the hoods, and the vails.

24 And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent;
and instead of well set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth; and burning instead of beauty.

25 Thy men shall fall by the sword, and thy mighty in the war.

26 And her gates shall lament and mourn; and she being desolate shall sit upon the ground.

Quite obviously these are the end times and non-True Christian women are disgusting harlots. Indeed, the young lady in question was scantily clad in a revealing outfit and adorned in lavish jewels.

I then realized this young lady was being punished by the Almighty for being a depraved harlot, and I decided to take a moment to witness to her while she was unable to move.

I set the boxes of ammo and hand guns down to pull out my pocket Bible and started reading aloud about how GOD views women who are vain and haughty. The commotion stopped momentarily as the righteous rapists stopped in bewilderment and only the young woman's shrieks for help and my best preaching voice could be heard in the night air.

After I finished the reading, I threw a Chick tract at her and I gathered up my purchases and continued on to my vehicle, praying in my mind that this young woman would get up off her back and kneel down in that alley way and give her life to CHRIST right then and there, after He showed her just what happens to perverted little hussies like her.

But now I'm slightly worried that I might have acted in the wrong way. Was it wrong that I didn't look away? I was, after all, able to see her undergarments, as well as the shameful privates of her rapists. Will GOD punish me for staying around to minister?

[bluefire]

Wow! You carry alot of stuff around with you! Hmm... did you do the right thing. I'd say... yes and no for so many different reasons.
By the way there are many competitions where you could enter a story such as this and possibly win some money.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

I note that the girl was not screaming. God gives adequate guidance for this situation:

De:22:23: If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her;
De:22:24: Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.

Throwing stones at all parties unto death would be technically the thing to do, however, I'm sure the Lord is aware of the shortage of stones, and , as bullets are lead, and lead comes from galena, which is a stone, then personally, I would have shot them all.

Report the matter to your pastor, he will organize a swift trial and execution for the usual suspects and the girl.

[Bob4God]

Originally Posted by bluefire

By the way there are many competitions where you could enter a story such as this and possibly win some money.

Are you insinuating that this is just some work of fiction I dreamed up? I don't even approve of such silly, untrue stories, which is why I only read the Bible!

[SayvedByTheLord]

Brother Bob, this harlot was probably screaming in ecstasy for Satan to come join the party

[Nurse Clampett]

Jesus and men folk forgive me when I say even that heathen fortune cookie writer Confucius knew what he was talking about when it came to forced sex;

"Der ish no ting as rape. Woman run fassha wit dress up dan man wit pants down."

[bluefire]

Originally Posted by Bob4God

Are you insinuating that this is just some work of fiction I dreamed up? I don't even approve of such silly, untrue stories, which is why I only read the Bible!

Hey calm down i'm not giving you that much credit! Of course you didnt make the whole thing up, you just added teeny tiny bits here and there too make it more... um... i think the idea was 'heroic' though i got 'nerdy'.

[Bob4God]

Originally Posted by bluefire

Hey calm down i'm not giving you that much credit! Of course you didnt make the whole thing up, you just added teeny tiny bits here and there too make it more... um... i think the idea was 'heroic' though i got 'nerdy'.

As a True Christian I cannot tell a lie, so shut up and go bake your father/husband/boyfriend a pie, wench.

[bluefire]

No. We've decided on something else for dinner tonight but thanks for your wonderful tips anyway. I'll be sure to ring you up next time i need domestic advice in pie making

[Bob4God]

Originally Posted by bluefire

No. We've decided on something else for dinner tonight but thanks for your wonderful tips anyway. I'll be sure to ring you up next time i need domestic advice in pie making

Do you have your husband's permission to post on these forums? You seem like a real sass-mouth, and I'm wondering what kind of man lets his woman behave in this manner without a solid slap across the mouth.

[Mistress Cookie]

Brother Bob:

I am sorry you were exposed to such horror. In a way, being pure of heart, you were the most violated of all.

I don't know that stoning them on the spot would have been the most True™ thing to do...as that would take away the shekle redemption money transaction that would wash their souls clean again.

They're probably married by now, and look back and laugh at the way they met. So I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Originally Posted by bluefire

No. We've decided on something else for dinner tonight but thanks for your wonderful tips anyway. I'll be sure to ring you up next time i need domestic advice in pie making

Your choice of words here causes us to believe you are eurotrash, or even worse a hellbound Brit.

[bluefire]

I never said i had a husband. And me!? A hellbound brit!!! My My! It sounds absolutely dreadful!? What on earth could it be? And maybe i specifically chose those words to make you think i was eurotrash when really i am so much worse! Or... maybe i am testing you! Hmmm.... tricky

[Mistress Cookie]

Originally Posted by bluefire

maybe i specifically chose those words to make you think i was eurotrash when really i am so much worse! Or... maybe i am testing you! Hmmm.... tricky

You are playing with fire, young lady.

Hellfire.

[bluefire]

Gah! All i said, was that we had decided on something else for dinner! I dont see why i am being moaned at for listening to the man im with rather than some total stranger. Seems there is no winning...

[Bob4God]

Originally Posted by bluefire

Gah! All i said, was that we had decided on something else for dinner! I dont see why i am being moaned at for listening to the man im with rather than some total stranger. Seems there is no winning...

It is better to heed the advice of a True Christian man you don't know than that of a an unsaved husband you share your bed with.

You disgust JESUS!

[bluefire]

How do you know he is my husband? How do you know we share a bed and how do you know he is unsaved? It seems you are throwing insults around without any substantial evidence to base them on. So far you know nothing about me and yet you insist on creating a hateful relationship. If that is all you desire in life then fine, who am i to tell you what to want?

I may believe in the same things as you or i may believe something else entirely. However, it seems you are not interested because you have noticed i havn't used the phrases hellfire, foul sinner, cat lick etc. Personally i do not use them because i find them overused and overrated but you have assumed otherwise.

[Nobar King]

Maybe if you weren't so vague with the information you offer people wouldn't misunderstand you.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Originally Posted by bluefire

And maybe i specifically chose those words to make you think i was eurotrash when really i am so much worse!

The only thing worse than that is a Belican.

[bluefire]

Ok call me ignorant if you will but whats a belican? I really have no idea.