Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
I have been suffering from extreme nausea and gastrointestinal pain for the last two days, so I went to a Dr. Golding in Des Moines this morning. He gave me a prescription and told me I'd be fine in a short while if I took the medicine.
When I got back to Dr. Bessemer's guest house and unwrapped the package, I was very dismayed to discover that I had been prescribed suppositories, which I am supposed to insert into my rectum four times each day.
As I shared with many of you during my testimony at Wednesday Night Fellowship, I am a fully recovered Ex-Gay©. While I am now certified 100% heterosexual, I still avoid any activity which would cause a relapse in spiritually weaker individuals. For example, my wife cuts my bananas up for me rather than serving them to me whole, as this conjures up too many painful memories. I am concerned about inserting a suppository into my rectum for the same reason.
I need to discuss this matter with Professor Stephen, but he has been out all afternoon. I'm just sitting here staring at the bag of suppositories, in incredible pain, and I have no idea what to do. I've tried taking Pepto Bismol and pills, but I just throw them back up.
Can anyone offer some True Christian™ advice? My stomach hurts so badly...
YIC