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Reload this Page It seems jesus might have been gay!
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-15-2007, 11:33 PM
Would you leave my cooking out of it??? No one's died so far, and my cooking isn't bad anymore. I've learned.
If I really was going to threaten you, I'd offer you some of my mother's cooking.


Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-15-2007, 11:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Would you leave my cooking out of it??? No one's died so far, and my cooking isn't bad anymore. I've learned.
If I really was going to threaten you, I'd offer you some of my mother's cooking.
If your mother's cooking is as filthy and vile as her "appetites" are reputed to be, then that's a fearsome threat indeed.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-15-2007, 11:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
If your mother's cooking is as filthy and vile as her "appetites" are reputed to be, then that's a fearsome threat indeed.
Her 'appetites', huh? You....uhh....obviously don't know too much about my mother.


Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 02-15-2007 at 11:37 PM.
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Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-15-2007, 11:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Her 'appetites', huh? You....uhh....obviously don't know too much about my mother.
I'm glad to say I have no personal experience with her, but I've heard stories. Dark, strange stories.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-15-2007, 11:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
I'm glad to say I have no personal experience with her, but I've heard stories. Dark, strange stories.
STORYTIME! Everybody gather 'round, Brother T is going to tell us a STORY!

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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 12:05 AM
Yes, Brother T. Do enlighten us as to these 'strange, dark stories'.


Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 12:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Yes, Brother T. Do enlighten us as to these 'strange, dark stories'.
Please! This is a decent, Christian forum, and I am under an obligation to keep it clean!

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 12:24 AM
In other words, ya got nothin' .


Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 01:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
In other words, ya got nothin' .
I'm almost ashamed this thread still exists. A harlot demon worshipper, who doesn't even believe in Jesus or that He existed, is trying to bait good Christians into confrontation. I say we just give her 30 lashes, 30 days in the stocks, followed by a good ol' fashioned witch barbecue. I forgot branding.

"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 02:28 AM
That's most impolite, Rev Deedee. Just because I won this debate, no need to get all 'lets burn her' about it.


Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 02:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Dr. Davidson View Post
I'm almost ashamed this thread still exists. A harlot demon worshipper, who doesn't even believe in Jesus or that He existed, is trying to bait good Christians into confrontation. I say we just give her 30 lashes, 30 days in the stocks, followed by a good ol' fashioned witch barbecue. I forgot branding.

I agree Brother. The absurdity of her basic argument is beyond belief. She takes some ancient customs and applies modern social mores to them. With this kind of thinking you would concluded something ridiculous like Richard the Lionhearted or Alexander the Great were homers.


Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 02:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
That's most impolite, Rev Deedee. Just because I won this debate, no need to get all 'lets burn her' about it.
I have yet to see a score card, and others have suggested the barbecue before. I'm sure you know the verse by heart, "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."

Anyway, aren't pagans supposed to be peaceful tree huggers? You intentionally trying to bait good Christians into arguments is worthy of a cathylick. Worse yet, a LIE-beral demoncrat cathylick. I am truly ashamed of your behavior.

Please... Before it's too late... Drop on your knees and accept His love. Let it fill you until your mouth is bursting to speak of his blessings.

"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 02:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
I agree Brother. The absurdity of her basic argument is beyond belief. She takes some ancient customs and applies modern social mores to them. With this kind of thinking you would concluded something ridiculous like Richard the Lionhearted or Alexander the Great were homers.
Well now that you mention it....

Quote:
Anyway, aren't pagans supposed to be peaceful tree huggers? You intentionally trying to bait good Christians into arguments is worthy of a cathylick. Worse yet, a LIE-beral demoncrat cathylick. I am truly ashamed of your behavior.
You TAKE THAT BACK!!!! The liberal democrat bit is true enough but I in NO way resemble a catholic!!! Catholics are in many was as bad as you guys!! In some ways even worse!!!!

And you're again thinking of wiccan fluffy bunnies. I'm not wiccan, and fluffy bunnies irritate the living crap outta me as they seem to have lost a great deal of grip to reality.
I'm a Pagan who is also a liberal, and I use my mind, and I think, and I point out points that need to be pointed out.

But don't EVER compare me to a catholic again!!!!


Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 02-16-2007 at 02:46 AM.
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Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 04:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
But don't EVER compare me to a catholic again!!!!
Mary-worshipers ARE pagans. They certainly aren't Christians. They buy into nonsense about statues and incense and similar rituals to what any pagan scum participates in. You both sacrifice/eat Christian babies and do satan's bidding. I don't see much difference.

There even scholarly articles on the subject. THIS one clearly lays out the paganism of catlickers, and the catholicism of pagans. Read it and weep, VanMarylover.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 04:40 AM
Listen up, weasel boy, catholics are an abrahamic religion who worship more or less the same deity as you, and believe in the jeebuz of the bible, and a similar bible to you etc.

1) I DO NOT believe in or worship any biblical deity
2) I do not believe in ANY bible

Catholics stole many ideas from Paganism, yes, but that doesn't mean pagans are like them. It means they stole ideas from us.


And for the last time I do NOT eat babies!!


Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 07:50 AM
Where do you come up with these lame-brained ideas? Jesus gay? If this is what happens to a pagan brain I'd rather be a Catholic!

Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 03:34 PM
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Originally Posted by eliot mayfield View Post
Where do you come up with these lame-brained ideas? Jesus gay? If this is what happens to a pagan brain I'd rather be a Catholic!
I don't think I'd make that choice. I'd rather just be martyred. Cathylicks seem to require that their children be sodomized by the clergy.

"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
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Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 05:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
And for the last time I do NOT eat babies!!
So you liquify them in a blender and drink them. Semantics aren't going to save your dark, twisted soul, witch!

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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
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Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 08:06 PM
Mrs. Van Helsing, May I call you Rachael?

Judging the historical evidence in this matter, you may be on to something. I tend to believe that Jesus' followers just hid his human nature. It's possible that he had homosexual relations at times, but I don't for a minute believe that he didn't spread his seed in women. Fertility rights are the first tennent of Christianity. Son/Sun, the dying god, rising in the spring to renew the lands only to die again. The blood of Christ being spilled to renew the people and lands. They are reading a book of poetry, and trying to make it great literature.

You can't really blame them though. The average IQ of a bible thumper is 80.

Do what you will, harm none, but embrace each life as if it's your last.
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Default Re: It seems jesus might have been gay! - 02-16-2007, 08:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Arch Druid View Post
You can't really blame them though. The average IQ of a bible thumper is 80.
Kindly cite a reference for your "fact" or retract it.

We don't make up what the Bible says; we expect you to show enough respect to not make up "science" to suit your needs.
Last edited by OnYourKnees; 02-16-2007 at 08:25 PM.
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