[Ezekiel Bathfire]

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When this becomes apparent, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

As you know, my name is Ezekiel Bathfire and I’m a senior Pastor at Landover. Let me relate how I handled this situation with my wife,Carol. When I relinquished a few of my duties a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. However, shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.

I generally have lunch in the Grill at the golf club, so eating out is not an option for us in the evening. I'm ready for some home-cooked food when I walk through that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating, but now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of ageing is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour, but, friends, we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then would help her figure. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break today when she was only half-finished mowing the lawn. I tried not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I told her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, and just relax for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she might as well make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint, in the way I support Carol. I'm not saying that showing this much patience &consideration is easy. Many men would find it difficult, if not impossible.Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.

However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife as a result of reading this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.


YIC Pastor Bathfire.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire

That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then would help her figure. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife as a result of reading this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
YIC Pastor Bathfire.

Thank you, Pastor Bathfire, for sharing some of your personal life with all of us here. Certainly, we can learn from your advice. One of the best things about the Baptist faith is maintaining Godly gender roles. So many in contemporary society want to confuse the rolls of each gender which God insists on in marriage.

[WWJDnow]

Pastor Bathfire,

Thank you for providing such a worthy role model of a Christian husband. While the Bible tells us that women must obey their husbands, it also directs men to love their wives.

It is a fact of life that, once they hit 30, women start losing their attractiveness. Once the change of life has occurred, the transition from beautiful princess to wrinkled hag is complete. A loving husband will understand this, and will make the transition as easy as possible for his wife. As long as she remains dutiful and obedient and maintains a proper Christian home, a man must treat his aging wife with compassion, no matter how shrewish or unattractive she has become.

Men, remember that even if you stop loving your aging wife, Jesus still loves her, and you must show her the kindness that she, as a good Christian, deserves. Of course, I don't condone adultery, but if your wife's dry and shriveled lady parts no longer meet your needs and you choose to see someone younger on the side, you need to keep it discrete so as to avoid undue embarrassment to your wife.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

I forget if it was wife no. 1 or wife no. 2, but I used to record all my conversations with her so I could play them back whenever she argued about some point I made. It's a habit I keep to this day although nowadays it's for my own enjoyment. It adds gravitas knowing that one's words are being recorded.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

One of the best things about the Baptist faith is maintaining Godly gender roles.

This is indeed so "Ge:2:18: And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." I often encourage Carol by adding "A busy woman is a happy woman" after noticing she seems lost for something to do.

[MitzaLizalor]

Widowers in this respect need particular support. When Jericho collapsed, very few occupations were spared because very few occupations were compassionate. Rahab lived in an apartment in the walls themselves so right there, secular claims—that only the walls fell down and nobody was harmed—fall flat.

James 2:24-25 Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only. Likewise also was not Rahab the harlot justified by works, when she had received the messengers, and had sent them out another way?

Rahab protected the messengers by her words, saying she didn't know where they were. No other profession in Jericho had such integrity Joshua 2:3, 4; 6:17 and only her family lived. Babies, toddlers, teenagers, geriatrics, nutters, all were squashed under the dreadful load of falling rocks. Let's hope they landed on their heads.

How should widowers react to their new and probably unintended circumstances? Is there a Christian ministry available to them?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

James 2:24-25 Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only. Likewise also was not Rahab the harlot justified by works, when she had received the messengers, and had sent them out another way?

If you have ever wondered why James is not up there with Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, then this passage is the reason. The Word of God is clear:

Ga:2:16: Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.

Of course, James was not wrong... as such: he was simply unclear. Rehab did not do "the works of the law", she was generally helpful to God, so here "justified" takes on more the meaning of "right by doing it".

We would not want people thinking there was any inconsistency on this the most important of tenets, would we?

[MitzaLizalor]

Thank you for highlighting that; Rahab was a Jerichoan so presumably not covered by The Law except insofar as it required Jericho to be annihilated and she fell outside that provision because of her actions. Clearly there was no other path to Salvation for her. Nevertheless she was Saved – am I right in thinking her actions stemmed from Faith in the same way that Christian actions stem from Faith?

Was Rahab the first Christian?