[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by harlotismymiddlename

I am reading the bible, and I have heard the story. I just didn't make the connection immediately. I saw it as more of a scientific question because I think scientifically(I am a very knowlege driven person.)

Science won't save you from the colossal wrath of God, dear. Have you ever come across a passage in the Holy Bible in which Jesus tells His disciples they must show how to make an alarm clock out of a potato with science in order to go to Heaven?

[DemonBrat]

heaven is a place filled with Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses anyway, it sounds like a terrible place


no wonder lucifer rioted

[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by GenericEdgeLord#billionthree

heaven is a place filled with Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses anyway...

Maybe you'd like to support this claim with some KJV Scripture? *pretend I've cared enough to source and insert a tired Tommy Lee Jones pic here*


Seriously, kid, there's plenty enough ****ed up stuff in the Bible already. Read it and find out for yourself.

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by DemonBrat

heaven is a place filled with Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses anyway, it sounds like a terrible place


no wonder lucifer rioted

There will not be a single Mor(m)on or Jehovah's Witless in Heaven. They are devil-worshipping heretics who spit on the Bible and thumb their nose at Jesus. You'll join them in Hell unless you follow the Bible.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes

There will not be a single Mor(m)on or Jehovah's Witless in Heaven. They are devil-worshipping heretics who spit on the Bible and thumb their nose at Jesus. You'll join them in Hell unless you follow the Bible.

My dear father likes to joke that Hell wouldn't be half as Hellish if it weren't for the preponderance of Morons and Jehovah's Witlesses.

[MitzaLizalor]

There will be no 7th Day Adventists in Heaven and no Irish Cooneyites.

[Pleasethink]

If this quiz told you that you're going to heaven, I ask you to rethink your life choices. Some of these questions made me sick to my stomach when reading them. You are the problem in this country. If you guys are going to heaven, I'm happy I won't be there. Have a bad day!

[Elmer G. White]

Originally Posted by Pleasethink

If this quiz told you that you're going to heaven, I ask you to rethink your life choices. Some of these questions made me sick to my stomach when reading them. You are the problem in this country. If you guys are going to heaven, I'm happy I won't be there. Have a bad day!

How wonderful! This means that everybody will be happy!
This is extremely good news! We can spend our eternity in Heaven without being forced to listen to your ad hominem fallacies!

2 Corinthians 6:14
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Pleasethink

If this quiz told you that you're going to heaven, I ask you to rethink your life choices. Some of these questions made me sick to my stomach when reading them. You are the problem in this country. If you guys are going to heaven, I'm happy I won't be there. Have a bad day!

I do understand that you have some frustrations, dear Miss Think, but this is due to your eyes having been blinded by the devil: Satan, himself!

II Corinthians 4:4 " In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of , who is the image of , should shine unto them."

While you may think that we "are the problem in this country", I am sure that if you will take some time to read the glorious , you will then see that we are actually the solution — because we follow the Perfect Plan of Almighty !

Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love , to them who are the called according to purpose."

II Timothy 3:16,17:
16 All scripture is given by inspiration of , and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
17 That the man of may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.

We would love to welcome you to , Dear, and the best way for us to do that is if you will kindly write an introductory message over in our cordial Introduction Forum. The link to that page is here:

https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumdisplay.php?f=16

Whilst there, please pay attention to our simple requests at the top of the page; I am pleased to include them here, for your benefit:

The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

We look forward to getting to know you, Dear. May bless you, as you seek — here, at .

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Pleasethink

If this quiz told you that you're going to heaven, I ask you to rethink your life choices. Some of these questions made me sick to my stomach when reading them. You are the problem in this country. If you guys are going to heaven, I'm happy I won't be there. Have a bad day!

Pleasethink--I looked over Rev. Jim Osborne's list of questions and I cannot, for the life of me, figure out where you are coming from. Rethink our life choices?? Why??

Let's take a couple of questions posted by Rev. Jim and review them: Are atheists evil? Of course they are. They displease Jesus.

Should homosexuals be put to death? Let's get back to the Bible and ask what they are doing here in God's world? We are commanded to be fruitful and multiple. Homers do not have babies. Case closed.

It is you who needs to review your life's choices, Pleasethink. All the best as you struggle.

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by Pleasethink

If this quiz told you that you're going to heaven, I ask you to rethink your life choices. Some of these questions made me sick to my stomach when reading them. You are the problem in this country. If you guys are going to heaven, I'm happy I won't be there. Have a bad day!

Without the information provided for us by God, how would you know there was even a Heaven at all?

Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne

29) Do not let unbelievers into your house.
YES / NO / MAYBE

I almost stumbled at Number twenty-nine. There's a Reiki consultant who'd provide home visits who thought I'd appreciate a session one afternoon. Apparently they're quite long. Curious, I looked up their professional body and was fairly certain they don't actually worship crystals or trace out demonic symbols in the air. He said he didn't anyway and that everything would be clearer after the energies. I did make an appointment.

However, he had a very foreign look, especially around the eyes, as though he were looking sideways when looking straight at me (or it could have been vice versa) so I continued reading, concentrating on the geography. Did you know there are whole countries that revolve around the idea God does not exist at all? He almost certainly came from one of those and I moved my appointment to a later date.

29) 2 John 1:9-11
[verse 10a If there come any unto you
[verse 10b and bring not this doctrine
[verse 10c receive him not into your house.]

How could I have determined whether he accepted God The Father, without whom there'd could be no God The Son, if I didn't keep the appointment and get Reikied? At this stage I've managed to be "out" when he's turned up but the Royal Precious College of Reiki Professionals will no doubt seek a further appointment, should I want one, and it occurred to me that our recent poster may have been Reiki curious himself. How should I respond regarding my appointment (which is still outstanding) since any advice may be applicable to Post #367?

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes

There will not be a single Mor(m)on or Jehovah's Witless in Heaven.

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

There will be no 7th Day Adventists in Heaven and no Irish Cooneyites.

I guess we all know who will actually go to Heaven.

[MitzaLizalor]

It's funny isn't it, how one person's description of "Heaven" sounds like its veriest antithesis to someone else? The one you'll be going to (I won't speculate in what capacity) sounds absolutely atrocious to me, the salient feature bug being wine storage methods. There is discussion, sure, whether barrique or enormous great big barrel is better than the bottle or magnum. Madeiras benefit from a different process and some of the better ones are quite ok with a meringue dessert.

FROM LEFT: meringue dessert - glass of madeira - ½ frozen option - fully frozen option

Do you ever serve meringue at your masses? Otherwise, the wines as described will be overwhelmingly exposed to air, no wax-sealed cork, no bottle at all! rippling brooks, cascading rapids, all manner of turbulence to get as much oxygen into the stuff as possible: it wouldn't last 5 minutes!! Imagine what it's like half way through eternity – and there's still ∞ left for it to go off even more. Now you may be hoping for the air to be removed. That wouldn't help much because the wine would evaporate instantaneously. “Perhaps the demon currently masquerading as Mary or Eusebius..” (in other lands it performs as other characters) “..will replace the air with Neon?” you may be thinking. Yes, but that would soon float away and you'd be back in the vacuum. Xenon is heavier than air so that would work, maybe, but you can't breathe xenon so you'd be suffocating to death and remaining alive at the same time. As I say, not every description of "Heaven" appeals to me and I'm glad I won't be going to that one.

It's so important to get our information about such important topics from a reliable source. God has explained in some detail who'll be going to actual Heaven and it's easy to read His message. The place you imagine has been described often enough for me to know I'd hate it there too. My question therefore becomes, what sources are you using as a framework for the place you guess it's known who will actually go there?