[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Single, white, True Christian™ woman, age available upon request to potential suitors (I am somewhat ashamed of how late in life I am getting wed, when most True Christian™ women are already married by their early 20s). I am tall and slender, but with good, sturdy, child-bearing hips, and people say I have have Ann Coulter's eyes, Laura Bush's nose, and the mouth of a young Phyllis Schlafly.
On the minus side, I used to be a Papist, and a nun at that! While in the convent, I succumbed to unnatural desires in myself, with other nuns, and with the few non-pederast priests who I thought had to obey. Having my womb get dusty for so long is inexcusable, but I have since left that cult and found True Christianity™ and the true Bible (KJV1611). I am now ready to give my womb over to Jesus and a Godly husband.
I am looking for a Godly True Christian™ man to whom I can properly submit, as I can only submit to a husband who himself submits to Jesus.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Being an ex-Papist nun and past 21 years of age, I know my prospects are limited. I would like my potential husband to be between 30-65 years of age, but I will take with joy whoever Jesus sends me. He must, of course, have an income in the six figures at least, the higher the better so we can properly tithe to the church and fully enjoy the benefits of living in Freehold where we can raise as many future True Christian™ Soldiers for Christ as my not-yet withered womb and God will allow.
Because of my shameful past, I am willing to consider ex-Sodomites, ex-Negroes, ex-Wicceds, and ex-Europeans. I will have to pray further though before I can consider ex-Hebrews, ex-Canuckistanis, and ex-Asians.

Yours in Christ,
Sister Mary Maria

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Good luck Sister M&M! There are plenty of wonderful True Christian™ here in GOD'S Favorite Forum™. I'm sure it's going to be a tough decision for you...when the time comes.

I have been dreaming of this day for months now. I hope soon MY prayers will be answered.

Hopefully this time next year Tater will have a new little brother!

GLORY!

Hopeful, Sister Thumper

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

You have a beautiful family, praise Jesus. I'm hoping Pastor Zeke will be able to officiate the wedding. I know I can trust him to hold on to my chastity belt key until he passes it on to my new husband.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria

Because of my shameful past, I am willing to consider ex-Sodomites, ex-Negroes, ex-Wicceds, and ex-Europeans. I will have to pray further though before I can consider ex-Hebrews, ex-Canuckistanis, and ex-Asians.

Yours in Christ,
Sister Mary Maria

I know all Jewbrews look alike, but do you differentiate between ex-Hebes and ex-Yids?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

I know all Jewbrews look alike, but do you differentiate between ex-Hebes and ex-Yids?

I was unaware of any differences. A joo is a joo is a joo. I'll have to pray on that one.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

I know all Jewbrews look alike, but do you differentiate between ex-Hebes and ex-Yids?

After much prayer, Jesus has told me that either are acceptable, as long as their noses aren't too hooked and their complexions too olive.


I have been receiving a good number of replies despite my shameful past, and one question that is often asked is what hobbies do I have. Silly me for not thinking to put that in my initial post!
My hobbies are reading the Bible (KJV1611), baking and cooking, witnessing for Christ, sewing and knitting, praying, rebuking sinners, and singing hymns. I have been told I have a pleasant voice, so I'm trying my hand at minstrel performing this summer. However, if I'm wed before then, I shall withdraw if my husband commands it.

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

Do you live in the 15th century? THINK FOR YOURSELF!

[Jesus is Lord]

Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces

Do you live in the 15th century? THINK FOR YOURSELF!

Why when GOD will do our thinking for us? Who better than the infalliable Creator of all things to command us?

[SalvationSeeker]

Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces

Do you live in the 15th century? THINK FOR YOURSELF!

Why should we change? God doesn't.
For I am the LORD, I change not;
Therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.
Malachi 3:6

Are you saying you know better than God? Lose your ego, homer.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces

Do you live in the 15th century? THINK FOR YOURSELF!

If you weren't too young and too damned to be my husband, you'd be able to give me commands. But you are both, so we shall never wed. Therefore, I don't have to take your orders.
Besides, what makes you feel I'm not thinking for myself? I'm thinking I want to please Jesus in every way, and that includes following His Word, word for word.
It always amazes me how heathens and atheists accuse us of not thinking for ourselves just because we're not thinking the way they want us to. How hateful and bigoted is that? I am as freely giving myself to God and my future husband as you are freely turning your back on God.
Even though you're so horribly wrong in so many ways, it was interesting having you here for a while. But now you mock me and my life? That's too much. And where did you choose to do that? Here, where I'm trying to find the husband I want and need. Now you forced me to reply, and this could cost me many possibly fine choices. If I die alone and childless, would you be happy then? Or won't you be satisfied until I'm damned for eternity?
By disrupting this thread, you might get the former, but in Jesus' name, you will never succeed in the latter!

[Rev. Dr. Davidson]

I pray that you will find a Godly True Christian man to fill the role you so need. You seem pious, and any single Christian man would do well to have you cooking for him, cleaning for him, and those other things I shant talk about here.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Sister Mary, you just go on about your business of peddling your (used and damaged) wares, and pay him no mind.

That pervert Tyrone isn't even a True Christian™. He couldn't command a dog, much less a fine, subservient True Christian™ female like you.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

God bless you, gentlemen. I know I shouldn't let the unSaved get to me like that, but my womb has gone without doing its Godly duty for so long that I'd hate for a heathen's careless words to cause it to continue gathering dust and cobwebs.

[Rev. Dr. Davidson]

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria

God bless you, gentlemen. I know I shouldn't let the unSaved get to me like that, but my womb has gone without doing its Godly duty for so long that I'd hate for a heathen's careless words to cause it to continue gathering dust and cobwebs.

Be sure to keep that belt oiled. It would be unfortunate if the pastor gave the key to your husband and it was rusted shut.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Rev. Dr. Davidson

Be sure to keep that belt oiled. It would be unfortunate if the pastor gave the key to your husband and it was rusted shut.

Brother BJ and the boys in Landover Security have things well in hand. That is what "the jaws of life" are for.

[Walter Van Slyke]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford

I am looking for a Godly True Christian™ man to whom I can properly submit, as I can only submit to a husband who himself submits to Jesus.

Sister Mary, you sound like the beautiful, perfect Christian woman that someone I'm very close to has been yearning for his entire life. He is a good Christian man who has unfortunately been through several unfortunate relationships with shallow, self-centered and (apparently) barren women. He has recently come into a small fortune and longs for a good Christian woman to manage his money and bear him the sons that he knows God wants.

Please, please, please let me know if you are interested and I will be eagerly do everything I can to bring the two of you together.

Humbly,

Wally

[nDrew777]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford

Single, white, True Christian™ woman, age available upon request to potential suitors (I am somewhat ashamed of how late in life I am getting wed, when most True Christian™ women are already married by their early 20s). I am tall and slender, but with good, sturdy, child-bearing hips, and people say I have have Ann Coulter's eyes, Laura Bush's nose, and the mouth of a young Phyllis Schlafly.
On the minus side, I used to be a Papist, and a nun at that! While in the convent, I succumbed to unnatural desires in myself, with other nuns, and with the few non-pederast priests who I thought had to obey. Having my womb get dusty for so long is inexcusable, but I have since left that cult and found True Christianity™ and the true Bible (KJV1611). I am now ready to give my womb over to Jesus and a Godly husband.
I am looking for a Godly True Christian™ man to whom I can properly submit, as I can only submit to a husband who himself submits to Jesus.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Being an ex-Papist nun and past 21 years of age, I know my prospects are limited. I would like my potential husband to be between 30-65 years of age, but I will take with joy whoever Jesus sends me. He must, of course, have an income in the six figures at least, the higher the better so we can properly tithe to the church and fully enjoy the benefits of living in Freehold where we can raise as many future True Christian™ Soldiers for Christ as my not-yet withered womb and God will allow.
Because of my shameful past, I am willing to consider ex-Sodomites, ex-Negroes, ex-Wicceds, and ex-Europeans. I will have to pray further though before I can consider ex-Hebrews, ex-Canuckistanis, and ex-Asians.

Yours in Christ,
Sister Mary Maria

Can I ask, how old are you?
Could you move, if your future husband is not from America?

[Attila's Wife]

Originally Posted by nDrew777

Can I ask, how old are you?
Could you move, if your future husband is not from America?

The post you quote is from the year 2007 and you might note that Sister Mary Maria's username has now been changed to Mrs Mary Whitford.

[VictoryOS]

Foreigners are so stupid!

[Jim C. Lombardo]

And dangerous. They should NOT be trusted.