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Reload this Page Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband.
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

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Phebe Carlyle Phebe Carlyle is offline
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 10-03-2010, 09:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth Newberry View Post
Oh, I'm sorry everyone!

I know I've been inexcusably absent, but one of my sons told me he wanted to dance, God forbid! His father's influence no doubt. I was spanking the Gay out of him, when the other came to his rescue! After some good, Godly advice from Brother Harold Porter and further advice from Pastor Levi, I have invested in a fabulous disciplinary device!
I believe in common parlance it's called a tazer, and it does wonders! A few shocks and they're sent off to their seperate prayer closets to apologise for their terrible choices.

Thank you, though, for all giving me such wonderful advice in here!

Praise the Lord for guiding me to you all,
Ruth.
Well, all I can say is that it is nice to see you back. I thought for some time there you had resorted to your "old ways".

This tazer thing - how long have you been using it and has it shown remarkable improvement in your children's behavior?

YIC

Sister Phebe.





There's Jesus here,
Just see what He offers me....
Down here my sins forgiven,
Up there a home in heaven
Praise God, That's the way for me!!
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BelieverInGod BelieverInGod is offline
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 10-03-2010, 09:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth Newberry View Post
Oh, I'm sorry everyone!

I know I've been inexcusably absent, but one of my sons told me he wanted to dance, God forbid! His father's influence no doubt. I was spanking the Gay out of him, when the other came to his rescue! After some good, Godly advice from Brother Harold Porter and further advice from Pastor Levi, I have invested in a fabulous disciplinary device!
I believe in common parlance it's called a tazer, and it does wonders! A few shocks and they're sent off to their seperate prayer closets to apologise for their terrible choices.

Thank you, though, for all giving me such wonderful advice in here!

Praise the Lord for guiding me to you all,
Ruth.
Oh sister, I hope you didn't spend too much on the taser* I could have got you a decent price on an e-collar with up to a mile range. Both have their pluses and minuses.

*Sorry, married to a Scott.

Drama queen
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Ruth Newberry Ruth Newberry is offline
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 10-03-2010, 10:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Phebe Dewitt View Post
Well, all I can say is that it is nice to see you back. I thought for some time there you had resorted to your "old ways".

This tazer thing - how long have you been using it and has it shown remarkable improvement in your children's behavior?

YIC

Sister Phebe.
Oh, never again, Sister. Never again! <3

The tazer, I've been using for about a month, and my sons have improved so very much! No more dancing, no more reading the men's underwear page of the catalogues we get delivered, it's miraculous.

And they've been doing more sports, as well. Finding a Gridiron juniors team in the area was almost impossibly, but I was able, as well as finding them baseball teams.

Thank you so much.

Ruth.
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Ruth Newberry Ruth Newberry is offline
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 10-03-2010, 10:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
Oh sister, I hope you didn't spend too much on the taser* I could have got you a decent price on an e-collar with up to a mile range. Both have their pluses and minuses.

*Sorry, married to a Scott.
Oh, if only I could have waited! Unfortunately, I'm not sure they would have fit around my boys' necks - they both have very wide neck measurements. Larger-set boys, they do so have mansized appetites, you see.

Thank you, though.

Ruth.
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Seth Campbell Seth Campbell is offline
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 10-03-2010, 07:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth Newberry View Post
Oh, if only I could have waited! Unfortunately, I'm not sure they would have fit around my boys' necks - they both have very wide neck measurements. Larger-set boys, they do so have mansized appetites, you see.

Thank you, though.

Ruth.
They fit a horse or an English Mastiff, they'll fit your boys. Although, there's no use buying them if you are happy with the taser.

PROOF: Atheists are too stupid to understand the Bible!

Proverbs 13:24(KJV): "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

Galatians 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 10-03-2010, 08:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seth Campbell View Post
......... Although, there's no use buying them if you are happy with the taser.
The taser is a bit "new age" to my way of thinking.

Whenever one of my visitors gets a bit frisky, I have a nice cattle prod that works quite well. It also has the advantage of being heavy enough to be used as a club if the batteries die.

The above scenario is exactly what happened last weekend when some girl scouts barged in to peddle their cheap cookies. The prod worked well on them but I ended up draining the the D cell batteries. I had to club the Pack Leader until she gave me a discount on the Do-Si-Do's.

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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 10-11-2010, 10:23 PM
I have to say Ruth you are quite attractive. If that avatar holds true!
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 10-11-2010, 11:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
Oh sister, I hope you didn't spend too much on the taser* I could have got you a decent price on an e-collar with up to a mile range. Both have their pluses and minuses.

*Sorry, married to a Scott.
Sister, I thought you were married to a Seth.

Is he aware of this Scott fellow?

Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 10-11-2010, 11:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Sister, I thought you were married to a Seth.

Is he aware of this Scott fellow?
You brought up a month old typo?

Drama queen
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 10-15-2010, 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Dionysos View Post
I can’t believe this! You’re admitting that your slutty ways already turned one straight Christian man into a flaming homosexual, gave birth to two sons of a queer and now you’re looking for another man – without your fathers permission?
Is this for real?
I AGREE. You should be banned from creating any other SATANIST monsters. The devil has found a HOME in your loins and is using your SEXUAL WEAKNESS as a way to exploit you. DO NOT LET HIM! Give yourself over to the lord and pray and repent for your husbands sins and childrens sins are YOUR SINS ALSO!
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Phebe Carlyle Phebe Carlyle is offline
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 10-15-2010, 01:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by faithhealer View Post
I AGREE. You should be banned from creating any other SATANIST monsters. The devil has found a HOME in your loins and is using your SEXUAL WEAKNESS as a way to exploit you. DO NOT LET HIM! Give yourself over to the lord and pray and repent for your husbands sins and childrens sins are YOUR SINS ALSO!
Excuse me, but I personally counselled Sister Ruth and she is the furthest thing from a whore or a satanist. Her father is dead and she is now on her own with two sons as she did not want to expose them to the homer ways of her now ex-husband.

As you don't know anything about her situation, but rather are just agreeing with some fool who does not know the goings on in this situation, I suggest that you hold your tongue.

YIC

Mrs Phebe Dewitt.





There's Jesus here,
Just see what He offers me....
Down here my sins forgiven,
Up there a home in heaven
Praise God, That's the way for me!!
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 11-05-2010, 10:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth Newberry View Post
Oh, I'm sorry everyone!

I know I've been inexcusably absent, but one of my sons told me he wanted to dance, God forbid! His father's influence no doubt. I was spanking the Gay out of him, when the other came to his rescue! After some good, Godly advice from Brother Harold Porter and further advice from Pastor Levi, I have invested in a fabulous disciplinary device!
I believe in common parlance it's called a tazer, and it does wonders! A few shocks and they're sent off to their seperate prayer closets to apologise for their terrible choices.

Thank you, though, for all giving me such wonderful advice in here!

Praise the Lord for guiding me to you all,
Ruth.
Do you normally talk like this...cuse you sound like your from the 50s and you also sound like a troll...a tazer seriously
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HTannor HTannor is offline
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 11-05-2010, 01:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LogicRulesLife View Post
Do you normally talk like this...cuse you sound like your from the 50s and you also sound like a troll...a tazer seriously
Do you normally stick your nose into a conversation where you have no idea what you're talking about?

The Godly Ruth Newberry is on the cusp of attaining True Christian™ status and is a wonderful lady sharing her life story and experiences with us.

Keep your Unsaved Trash comments to yourself.

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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 11-05-2010, 05:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LogicRulesLife View Post
Do you normally talk like this...cuse you sound like your from the 50s and you also sound like a troll...a tazer seriously
They didn't have tazers in the 50s, retard.

But they did have rules of punctuation and capitalization. They still do. You might want to learn them.

Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 11-05-2010, 07:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LogicRulesLife View Post
Do you normally talk like this...cuse you sound like your from the 50s and you also sound like a troll...a tazer seriously
Young Ms. Ruth is a product of a lifetime of good home schooling, my guess is that LogicRulesLife comes with a history of public school education. It certainly shows in their writing skills.

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Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 11-14-2010, 06:41 AM
Thank you all for protecting me from that terrible Trash's words. Honestly!
What a silly man for saying I sounded like I was from the 50's. Tazers have no place in the 50's, a switch would have been more suited...and I would use one, but being a lady, I really don't have the appropriate upper body strength to wield one with the proper weight to it...

So again, I thank you all with all I have.

Perhaps I should send you all some care packages! Brownies, pies, cakes for everybody.

Ruth.
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 11-14-2010, 08:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth Newberry View Post
Thank you all for protecting me from that terrible Trash's words. Honestly!
What a silly man for saying I sounded like I was from the 50's. Tazers have no place in the 50's, a switch would have been more suited...and I would use one, but being a lady, I really don't have the appropriate upper body strength to wield one with the proper weight to it...

So again, I thank you all with all I have.

Perhaps I should send you all some care packages! Brownies, pies, cakes for everybody.

Ruth.
Whilst I am quite sure that Brother Tannor would appreciate any pie offering put forth especially by you ( I have told him of your juicy offerings at several LBC gatherings when probed), I think a potted plant with a nice note attached in appreciation would be best for all others concerned although Rev. Rodimer IS a single fellow too.

As to the unsaved Trash casting aspersions, well they would probably think that a switch is something used to turn a light on. ONLY a True Christian Gal with unruly children would know what it really is and know in turn, how to use it.

YIC

Phebe Carlyle.





There's Jesus here,
Just see what He offers me....
Down here my sins forgiven,
Up there a home in heaven
Praise God, That's the way for me!!
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 12-20-2010, 09:23 AM
Hello Ruth! I was wondering, did you try to give your husband some pills to cure the gay out of him? May be it is not too late!
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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 12-20-2010, 10:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Snapper Grogan View Post
What is there not to understand about pie?

I don't think you're very bright.
He probably goes to heathen McDonald's and thinks that lump of lard with pumpkin in it is pie. Shudder.

Where he should be going is to Wendy's, started by that saintly Christian, Dave Thomas.
http://www.atlantachristianweb.com/c...res/thomas.asp

YiJC, BS

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Default Re: Good, Christian lady seeks STRAIGHT husband. - 12-20-2010, 10:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by self_abusing_sinner View Post
How old are you HTannor? Like 50 or 60? What exactly is tempting about this? I could understand if you wanted to support her like a father and wanted to send her money, in a completely platonic way. Is that what you are thinking about?



sas
How dare you question a True Christian™ at his own church. Have you no shame.

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