[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Originally Posted by Lisa H

I took Billy Bob on his surprise trip today. I drove and Billy Bob said he would ride shot gun. I don’t know what that means but he seemed quite happy with that. The trip went well expect for when some vagrant window washers approached the car.

Yes, in any country where there are brown people you are bound to have them jumping into traffic, whether it is to wash your windows or exact compensation. I told Lisa not to slow down, but she did, and sort of nudged them out of the way with the bumper of her car.

I was surprised at how religious Billy Bob is when he is a passenger. Most of the trip he was praying to Jesus that we arrive safely. His prayers were answered as we arrived safely, it was also the quickest time I made.

I am praying all the time, whenever there is a lull in the conversation.

I took Billy Bob to the Pearl Harbour war memorial. It was such a moving experience for him. When we arrived he told me one his family members had served on the USS Arizona. We found the memorial wall.

After awhile of searching we found the name on the memorial war.

Every male in my family who is of age has served in the military, even my gay cousin who was in the Air Force before he died and went to Hell.

We spent nearly all day at the Pearl Harbour memorial and finished the trip with a helicopter ride. It was a lovely but sad sight to see. I think this must have been Billy Bob's first time in a helicopter as he seemed nervous. I held his hand to comfort him.

Actually, the trouble is I was in a helicopter accident during the Iraq War. Whenever I get near a helicopter I become tense and sometimes I will attack, if you are brown enough.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

We went to a volcano national park and this fat Hawaiian fellow wearing a grass skirt with a ukelele strapped to his back, sucking down dried prunes like there was no tomorrow, was trying to tell me about his volcano god like we should be interested just because that was a part of their heathen culture. I told him he could stick his false god up his fat rectum along with his gay little ukelele.

Anyway, here's the volcano.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Lisa has been very generous in applying burn cream to my wounds. All I have to do is complain and she is johnny on the spot with the cream. Just being near a volcano made me want more burn cream so we stopped right where we were and did my shoulders and back. They stay pretty tense from chopping wood all the time, and this was a great relief.

And to think, just a week ago I was putting up with Ethel's whining and complaining and laziness. This is a pleasant change indeed! I'm so glad Lisa invited me to her Hawaiian condo.

[Lisa H]

This morning we visited one of fathers friends Pastor Peter and his wife Ruth. It was nice catching up with them as I have not seen them for awhile. Ruth & I spent time chatting and left Pastor Peter and Billy Bob together.



Pastor Peter also took us on a tour of the Hawaii Baptist Academy. My father and Paster Peter had worked there together.



Billy Bobs burns are starting to heal nicely. He always lets me know when I have to rub more burn cream on.

[James Dewitt]

Does the bed room face the ocean? The tropical breeze can make the both of you sleep well.

[Lisa H]

Originally Posted by James Dewitt

Does the bed room face the ocean? The tropical breeze can make the both of you sleep well.

Billy Bob has my bedroom which does have an ocean view and a balcony. I am in one one guest bedrooms. The guest bedroom has window that catches the breeze.

[Lisa H]

After we left Pastor Peter’s place we went down to the beach. We walked past a boat hire place and Billy Bob wanted to go fishing. So we hired a fishing boat. While Billy Bob was getting the boat ready he sent me off to get some supplies.



Inside the boat there was lovely sitting area.



We found a place to fish and I also had a try. I had caught a fish but it was so strong it pulled the rod out of my hands. The rod was lost in sea.

Billy Bob caught a couple of big fish.



After the fishing trip we walked along the beach a bit more. I wanted to go snorkelling. Billy Bob said I could but he would stay on the beach because snorkelling is for women and real men go scuba diving. Before I left Billy Bob he wanted me to rub some more burn cream on him.



While I was snorkelling I saw some pretty fish and a turtle.

[Brother Barnabus]

There's nothing like the sweet smell of fresh fish early in the morning. A true gift from Jesus.

[Lisa H]

Today Billy Bob and I went on a Royal tour of Hawaii. We first went and saw the Queen Emma Summer Palace. It does not look much on the outside but does have some lovely rooms.



Queen Emma is said to have been a beautiful woman and there is flower named after her. Billy Bob picked one the flowers from the gardens and gave to me because I like flowers.



When then went to the Iolani Palace. It is a very grand building. Iolani Palace is the only royal palace used by a reigning monarch in the United States.



You are not allowed to photograph inside the palace but I did manage to sneak a few photos. Billy Bob said one the security guards saw me take a photo but he soughted it out with him.

The throne room


Entrance Hall


We then went to the Queen Emma Bridge. It is the longest and oldest floating pontoon bridge in the world. It felt funny walking on the bridge as it moved on the water. I felt a bit wonky so Billy Bob held my hand as we crossed.

Walking across the bridge


The bridge closing

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Pastor Peter and I sat down and had some man time last night. He offered me some wine, which made me wonder about his intentions. Then I remembered he is a Baptist pastor, and so can't be a homosexual. I had brought some Old Milwaukee just in case.

I started asking Peter some questions about Lisa. And the subject came up: she is barren. I knew right then that God had sent her to me to supply burn cream and the condo, but not to be my wife. I was very sad, and wondered what horrible sin Lisa must have committed before she became a True Christian™.

So, I will be on the next plane home. I will find myself a good, American woman with an operational womb in south Georgia, and father more sons.

[Sam Diamond]

Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins

Pastor Peter and I sat down and had some man time last night. He offered me some wine, which made me wonder about his intentions. Then I remembered he is a Baptist pastor, and so can't be a homosexual. I had brought some Old Milwaukee just in case.

I started asking Peter some questions about Lisa. And the subject came up: she is barren. I knew right then that God had sent her to me to supply burn cream and the condo, but not to be my wife. I was very sad, and wondered what horrible sin Lisa must have committed before she became a True Christian™.

So, I will be on the next plane home. I will find myself a good, American woman with an operational womb in south Georgia, and father more sons.

I was very concerned Billy Bob, I am happy to see that you have come to your senses. To marry a warren woman is no different than buying a cow that does not produce milk. Its a waste of time and money.

[Lisa H]

When I got up this morning I noticed all my plastic palm trees were cut down and Billy Bob’s bags packed in the middle of the lounge room. I looked around and saw Billy Bob sitting on the balcony with a bottle of Old Milwaukee. I made some breakfast for us and went and sat with Billy Bob.

Billy Bob told me about the conversation he had with Pastor Peter the night before. He asked me about what sin I committed. I explained to him that it was not my sin, but the sin from others.

As we chattered he told me that his faith in the Lord was waning because of Ethel and how the Lord brought us together, he was having a wonderful time in Hawaii, but I could not be his wife. I explained to Billy Bob that the Lord has given me the opportunity to help bring people to Him and have faith in Him.

We sat in silence for awhile and noticed Billy Bob was still unsure of what I said. Billy Bob still looked liked he was still doubting things. I said to him there is something really special I want to share with him, which I call the leap of faith and if he would try it before he goes. Billy Bob said he would. We packed his bags in the car and headed off.

We boarded the plane for the Leap of faith. Billy Bob was nervous so he wore all the protective clothing and helmet. I cannot tell you how nervous he was.

It was so exciting taking another leap.



As we fell closer to the earth Billy Bob started losing faith and began to struggle, putting both our lives at risk. I had to wrap myself around him to prevent him from struggling. Not long after I felt his faith return and we came back to earth safely.



Billy Bob was moved by the whole experience and said his faith in the Lord had returned. I dropped him off at the airport. He gave me a huge hug and thanked me for renewing his faith and said he was ready for his new life.

PS: Billy Bob when you find your new wife you are welcome to honeymoon at the condo.

[HTannor]

You're a wonderful woman, Sister Lisa. It's too bad you're as barren as the sahara desert.

Oh, I suppose you could adopt a baby chink or two, but it wouldn't be the same, would it?

[Lisa H]

Originally Posted by HTannor

You're a wonderful woman, Sister Lisa. It's too bad you're as barren as the sahara desert.

Oh, I suppose you could adopt a baby chink or two, but it wouldn't be the same, would it?

Thank you for your kind words Brother Tanner. The Lord still has a special place for me

Luke 23:29 For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck.

Galatians 4:27 For it is written, Rejoice, thou barren that bearest not; break forth and cry, thou that travailest not: for the desolate hath many more children than she which hath an husband.

[HTannor]

It was the least I could do in my sorrow for you.















Uh, Sister Lisa, if I can snag one of the Gulfstreams for a fact-finding tour of the islands, is there any chance I could use the condo?

[BelieverInGod]

Originally Posted by Lisa H

Thank you for your kind words Brother Tanner. The Lord still has a special place for me

Luke 23:29 For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck.

Galatians 4:27 For it is written, Rejoice, thou barren that bearest not; break forth and cry, thou that travailest not: for the desolate hath many more children than she which hath an husband.

Oh sister, remember the number of Barren women whose wombs were opened up late in life for one of the Bibles great heroes. I pray that this is your path.

[Lisa H]

Originally Posted by HTannor

It was the least I could do in my sorrow for you.

Uh, Sister Lisa, if I can snag one of the Gulfstreams for a fact-finding tour of the islands, is there any chance I could use the condo?

Brother Tanner you will have to let me know in advance. The condo is rented out when I am not using it. I had to have manager find alternative accommodation for the people who were renting it for the this trip.

Originally Posted by BelieverInGod

Oh sister, remember the number of Barren women whose wombs were opened up late in life for one of the Bibles great heroes. I pray that this is your path.

Thank you for your prayers Sister B.I.G. It would it be nice if that happened, these women were truly blessed.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Sister Lisa:

I have just caught up with this.
What a shame that Brother Billy Bob's holiday and courting of you ended up so very disappointing for him and what a bitter irony that it was ultimately a complete waste of his time.

I am glad that he is now OK and that he has reinvigorated his faith in Jesus.

After the tragedy of losing Ethel and then discovering a week later that you have a uterus as reliable as a two dollar Balinese watch this must have been very distressing and traumatic for him.

I will Pray for Brother Billy Bob tonight