[handmaiden]

Originally Posted by Infant Genious

HEY GUYS!

Is she still available? I would love one.

So droll. There are no "guys" with whom you must get wasted in order to have a "chick" passed over to you like so many buffalo wings.


This is a matter for her father and an acceptable, True Christian, financially solvent ,suitor to pray over. God will guide the negotiations as He sees fit.

We are a group of people gathered to discuss the truth of the Bible. We bring up matters in our individual lives to be examined here because we can count on the fellowship of True Christians to treat our concerns with consideration and compassion and Christ-derived wisdom.

You have shown nothing of the sort. You probably couldn't pick a Bible out of a line up that included Harry Potter, Huck Finn and a telephone directory.


Sneeringly Yours,

Handmaiden

[Imam Rashik]

How much dowry does your daughter have.

SURA 4.
4. And give women their dowries as a free gift, but if they of themselves be
pleased to give up to you a portion of it, then eat it with enjoyment and with
wholesome result.

[BelieverInGod]

Originally Posted by Imam Rashik

How much dowry does your daughter have.

SURA 4.
4. And give women their dowries as a free gift, but if they of themselves be
pleased to give up to you a portion of it, then eat it with enjoyment and with
wholesome result.

Eat a dowry?

[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by Imam Rashik

How much dowry does your daughter have.

True Christian brides come with no dowry. What's being negotiated here is a bride price that the husband-to-be or rapist pays the father of the bride. They are valuable property to be sold, not liabilities to be pawned off.

Originally Posted by Imam Rashik

SURA 4.4. And give women their dowries as a free gift, but if they of themselves be pleased to give up to you a portion of it, then eat it with enjoyment and with wholesome result.

If one ignores the misuse of the word dowry in your quote, the grammar of the rest of sentence implies that it's talking about something that the bride receives, not the groom. The Qu'ranic translation I use (by Dr. Muhammad Taqiuddeen al-Hilaalee, Ph.D. and Dr. Muhammad Muhsin Khan) has Sura 4:4 as follows:

[004:004] And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allâh has made it lawful).

As the translation I use does not require anyone to eat money I think I'll trust it a bit more, and ask how much you'll be giving to your bride as the Qu'ran requires?

[Lycia The Repentant]

Well Pastor Levi, I know I am just a woman, but I've been crunching some numbers to make sure you know where to start the bidding. Luckily, the Bible lays out a proper price range for us.


"And thy estimation shall be of the male from twenty years old even unto sixty years old, even thy estimation shall be fifty shekels of silver, after the shekel of the sanctuary. And if it be a female, then thy estimation shall be thirty shekels. And if it be from five years old even unto twenty years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male twenty shekels, and for the female ten shekels. And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver. And if it be from sixty years old and above; if it be a male, then thy estimation shall be fifteen shekels, and for the female ten shekels." Leviticus 27:3-7

Now, according to this wickedpedia article, silver shekels ranged from between 9 and 17 grams, and according to this site, the current price of silver is $764.09 per kilogram. This means your daughter is worth somewhere between $68.77 and $129.90 (I rounded up, of course). Now, I believe that the price of silver is expected to rise, but lets say it stays the same. If you keep your daughter for seven years, you could triple your earnings.

EDIT: I forgot to take into account the shekel of sanctuary. Feel free to add between $6.88 and $12.99 to your asking price.

[Neloter]

Selling your daughter just like she's nothing to you?

Probably for the best since you couldn't be the better man anyway.

[BelieverInGod]

Originally Posted by Neloter

Selling your daughter just like she's nothing to you?

Probably for the best since you couldn't be the better man anyway.

So it's better that he just let her out onto the streets to find her own man? That's how women end up being street walkers you know.

[Nachodemon]

I would be overjoyed to have this young woman! Has she been trained by professional maids in her housework, and can you give examples of her best dishes? Is there a free trial possibility, she seems very interesting, I'd love to invite her to a private pray session before deciding

Your daughter would be put to good use, and of course be supplied with the best tools for cleaning, the best pots for cooking, and she'd be put on a collar that'd shock her if she left my grounds without permission! Hope to hear back, I'd like to bid high and fill her with god!

[Levi Jones]

Originally Posted by Nachodemon

I would be overjoyed to have this young woman! Has she been trained by professional maids in her housework, and can you give examples of her best dishes? Is there a free trial possibility, she seems very interesting, I'd love to invite her to a private pray session before deciding

Your daughter would be put to good use, and of course be supplied with the best tools for cleaning, the best pots for cooking, and she'd be put on a collar that'd shock her if she left my grounds without permission! Hope to hear back, I'd like to bid high and fill her with god!

You disgust me to my innermost being. This is among us True Christians™. You were not invited to it.

This is straight from Exodus 21 and it is something I undertake with only the utmost gravity and I don't appreciate your attempts at levity for anything less than 50k.

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant

… crunching some numbers.

I recently undertook a similar calculation - we seem to be running a similar silver price tracker (although I'm in Troy oz) and the shekel conversion seems similar. Could someone advise please the correct value? Admittedly I was contemplating a slightly different scheme after which my status would vary, compared to Rev. Jones' daughter: I was working on a value of 50 silver shekels: instruction from one of the gentlemen would be appreciated, please.

[Cranky Old Man]

Any serious bids from True Christians™ will be considered.

How does $5.000 sound? Lately my wife is neglecting her duties claiming "old age" as an excuse and it is getting a bit tiresome to beat her up all the time.

Originally Posted by Levi Jones

She is a decent cook, but lazy about cleaning. It's my wife's fault for that. I'm sure if you have a strong steady hand for keeping her in line, she can be encouraged to get better.

I'll beat the laziness out of her in at most one week. It will take her months before she can walk again, but in the meantime she can do her duties while crawling. So as you can see you can rest assured she will be raised the True Christian™ way.

[Viggo B. Kristoffersen]

Dear Brother Levi

Im not sure if it's possible for you to send your daugter to Denmark do to our immigration laws here (you know how much the denmarkian communist government hate Americans), but I desperately need a new maid, because I found out the old one was a stinking catlik and therefor send her back to Chile.
Do you have any pictures of your daugther in a maids dress, so I can get the right impression of her?

I'm ready to pay a decent price for her if her appearance is what I hope for. And I will of course pay for the travelling expences as well.
My German Shepherd just gave birth to four wonderful puppies. Maybe you would be interessted in one of those as part of the deal??

Please let me know what you think.

Sincerely
Viggo

[Imam Rashik]

This racing camel is a fair exchange for your daughter.

[FagsAreWhatGodHates]

Im praying that this is a joke cause if its not you guys are probably the most loser cult since Charles Manson's little shindig. And yes i did mean cult because this is much farther than Christianity its stupidity

[Lycia The Repentant]

Originally Posted by FagsAreWhatGodHates

Im praying that this is a joke cause if its not you guys are probably the most loser cult since Charles Manson's little shindig. And yes i did mean cult because this is much farther than Christianity its stupidity

Nope, we're not a cult.

Also please let us know exactly how we aren't following the Bible.

Finally, thank you for calling us stupid! We are blessed by your persecution.

"Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you." Matthew 5:10-12

[Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.]

Dear FagsAreWhatGodHates,

Originally Posted by FagsAreWhatGodHates

Im praying that this is a joke cause if its not you guys are probably the most loser cult since Charles Manson's little shindig. And yes i did mean cult because this is much farther than Christianity its stupidity

You seem to think selling daughters is not Christian. You could not be more wrong! You clearly failed to read this thread which already pointed to Exodus 21 which you obviously didn't read.

"And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do." (Exodus 21:7)

So you have two options here. Either you accept everything that is in the Holy Bible and live by it each and every minute of each and every day, or you will end up in Hell with those who, like you, completely ignore the Holy Bible.

Jesus is awaiting your answer.

"I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life: no man comes to the Father but by Me." (John 14:6)

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

[FagsAreWhatGodHates]

Do you not worry that you sell her to someone that is a child molester?

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by FagsAreWhatGodHates

Do you not worry that you sell her to someone that is a child molester?

You mean like an atheist? This is why Brother Levi wants a True Christian™ to buy his daughter.

[Justin Z]

How good are her pies? Do they win the blue ribbon at the country fair?

[Infant Genious]

Originally Posted by handmaiden

You have shown nothing of the sort. You probably couldn't pick a Bible out of a line up that included Harry Potter, Huck Finn and a telephone directory.


Sneeringly Yours,

Handmaiden

I could do that. Huck Finn is about rednecks (BURN IN HELL) and a telephone directory is Satan's death list (BURN IN HELL). However, Harry Potter is a trick. It's actually the bible rewritten so that we can brainwash kids . Don't worry I won't tell.