[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Since many of us, particularly our children, have never seen a negro in real-life due to our Jim Crow laws and heavy taxes on housing, wouldn't it be fun to see a negro for the first time?

My chaffeur, Ernie, will be with me this Saturday, June 11, from 2 pm to 4 pm at Founder's Park in Downtown Freehold. He will stand there and let your kids get a good look at him. He has agreed to let the children touch them if they are curious. They can play with his nappy, strange hair or pinch his dark skin. Don't worry: He doesn't bite! He is a very tame and loyal servant and I give you assurance there will not be any crazy negro violence like we see on the TV news.

Tap dancing and singing is a suggested $2 donation. Shoe-shining, $5.

So bring your sheltered kids out in the park this Saturday for some fun. They'll be very excited to see their first negro up close and in real life!

[Jack O'fagan]

When he sings will he be wearing white gloves and doing his 'jazz hands' thing? I love it when negroes do that. Also does he speak all hip-hopitty because that would be funny to listen to.

Jack

[Sister Kitty]

Is it caged?

Tame as it may seem to be, you can never tell when it will suddenly run amok and start raping the children and the elderly. As soon as it isn't getting enough of its crack it can revert to its natural state. Then nothing with a hole is safe.

[James Hutchins]

I echo Sister Kitty's concerns. If not caged then shackled.

I assume under any circumstance, you'll be there with a tranquilizer gun. How much to let me shoot it?

Will we be able to see it eat their natural foods like watermelon, fried chicken and slop?

Edit: I told the missus I was going to load up the pickup with the little ones to see the negro and she wants to come along too. She was curious if she could see the 'taught mandingo' (her words) drive the car. Just her and Ernie.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

OKAY, brothers and sisters, relax. Just relax.

No, he's not shackled or chained, but don't worry. He's well-trained. I've had him in my employ for over 10 years and he's a lifelong Christian. And by lifelong Christian he knows his place according to the Bible and he will not dare question his white master's authority. So really, there's nothing to worry about.

Haven't you been to the circus and seen bears and lions roam around unchained in front of their human owners? And weren't the humans safe? And in control?

Same thing happening here!

[James Hutchins]

Being it is you, my concerns are no longer. What was I thinking. The kids are so excited, they cannot wait to see him shuffle!

[Zechariah Smyth]

Rev. Jim, I trust you with my life, but I must tell you that I recently saw some footage where trained queers and trained tigers were put in a cage together. I don't want to spoil it in case you happen upon it, but the tigers stole the show.

YiC,

Zech
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[HTannor]

What a great opportunity for the kiddies, Rev. Jim!

With your permission perhaps we could set up a couple of arcade games to go with the festivities.

I have two of these machines and would gladly split the proceeds with you.

[RevDrJack]

So it really is true! I thought darkies were a hollywood trick on television. I've never seen one where I live. Will you have a live internet feed so we can see it too?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Make sure all the kids wash their hands if they touch it. Those things smell funny and probably carry exotic diseases from the darkest jungles.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Oh, the memories.

I remember when I saw MY first negroe in a grocery store. I was stunned and I thought they were a family of monkeys. I started laughing and pointing "Look at the monkeys!" My told me to shush, they were negroids.

In the check out line I was looking very close at the Momma negroid. Her skin looked like lumpy chocolate pudding. I've never been able to eat it again.


It's very nice of you to offer up your negriod for the kids Bother Osborne!

I hope they are serving watermelon flavored snow cones for the occasion. The kids will love that.

[GRUMPY]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Make sure all the kids wash their hands if they touch it. Those things smell funny and probably carry exotic diseases from the darkest jungles.

Peace be with you all. I've been in the swamps of Borneo for nearly 2 years spreading the word amongst the mooslem heathen with nothing but the word of God to protect me. I'm bruised, I'm scarred but my faith remains resolute.

The nearest I got to a conversion in all that time was Bujang. and I would suggest his faith is as strong as this negro's.

[Felicity]

Don't they bite people?

[Cranky Old Man]

I am glad those negro kids are doing something useful for a change. Usually all they do is damage our economy.

[James Hutchins]

Well Rev. Osborne, my kids had the time of their lives at the show. Seeing the creature suck all the meat off of a chicken thigh in one gulp, and ate entire watermelon, spitting out seeds to spell his name on a piece of paper. And the amazing shuffling and dancing. I was not too impressed with his singing though.
Mrs, Hutchins certainly enjoyed having Ernie driver her around the block though 45 minutes to go barely a mile, made me wonder how you are able to get anywhere. He could not be going fast although Mrs. Hutchins hair was all windblown. Must of been the A/C in the car. She was looking rather flushed when she got out. But both Ernie and my wife had a good time as they were both giggling.
Possibly the best $500 I've spent on entertainment in a long time.

[HTannor]

What a great event - and profitable, as well.

My two Whack-a-Darkie machines generated nearly $200, but there was some damage. A witness told me that some guy was banging his wife's head into one of them. Oddly, the witness also told me the woman was smiling throughout the whole thing.

After deducting for damages, I'll be sending you a check for half of what's left.

[GRUMPY]

Originally Posted by Felicity

Don't they bite people?

Indeed they do sister Jessica. They swing trees as well. When I was PNG spreading the Lord's word I saw where the tail came off.

My faith is strong.

[godismighty]

The times we have negroids on display here in Finland we keep them caged and always have a police officer with a shotgun nearby. THEY ARE DANGEROUS!

may the LORD protect you all from the diseases it carries!

[SUV]

Can he tapdance? Ooh! Ooh! Will he tapdance?

[*sigh*Fundomentalist]

Why do people like you exist? This is terrible caging up a person for viewing! Not only are your beliefs against the law they're are immoral and not biblically supported yes it says that slaves should obey their masters but nothing about who are the slaves. That is decided by law not by religion and it is not right! You will all burn one day unless you see the light I pray for you.