Pastor Zeke's News Wire Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News. |
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Innkeeper for Christ
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Re: Australian fires -
01-12-2020, 02:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton
And who knows maybe a few witches and demons get burned, too.
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Oh, I don't doubt it. Apparently Australia is home to an entire species of savage apes who the Darwinists are fond of trotting out as the "missing link" that "proves" evolution. Apparently, in addition to huffing gasoline and raping their own offspring, these simian creatures of near-human appearance practice a primitive form of magic and devil worship.
Pictured: The beings referred to as "Homo erectus" (not making that up!) by scientists.
Once all of these native beasts, as well as the Irish criminal-descended atheists and sodomites have been burnt and purged away, Australia can be reclaimed for God. Praise His holy name!
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Re: Australian fires -
01-12-2020, 04:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes
Oh, I don't doubt it. Apparently Australia is home to an entire species of savage apes who the Darwinists are fond of trotting out as the "missing link" that "proves" evolution.
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Brother Dennis, please thread carefully here! Evolution is a lie! You cannot cherry pick, you would have to accept all of it! According to evilutionists, pure blood white people descend from Homo sapiens neanderthalensis - and I think we can both agree that is simply impossible!
Also, I would like to point out that you used wrong photo in your post. This is what Australian Aborigines look like:
I hope this was helpful.
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Serving Jesus
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Re: Australian fires -
01-12-2020, 04:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
Evolution is a lie! This is what Australian Aborigines look like:
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I don't understand why Australian men like to dress like Dutch prostitutes. Those short shorts can't be very useful for running through the brush, whether it's on fire or not.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Re: Australian fires -
01-12-2020, 05:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss
I don't understand why Australian men like to dress like Dutch prostitutes. Those short shorts can't be very useful for running through the brush, whether it's on fire or not.
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Well, it seems that one of these Australian men decided to swap the shorts for a dress:
And then they are surprised when God punishes them with fires!
Deuteronomy 22:5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
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Re: Australian fires -
01-13-2020, 09:56 AM
Can’t Pastor Ezekiel simply ask Jesus to stop the fires? I don’t mean to seem naive but wouldn’t this show how loving our Lord is?
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Re: Australian fires -
01-13-2020, 10:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry
Can’t Pastor Ezekiel simply ask Jesus to stop the fires?
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Pastor Zeke is a busy man, Larry. Maybe it's time for some bludger of an Austrian pastor to put down the tinnies and get on his knees for Jesus?
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
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Re: Australian fires -
01-13-2020, 12:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry
..wouldn’t this show how loving our Lord is?
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Unfortunately the "president" is a pentecostalist. There is a repulse field operating where prayer is concerned.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Re: Australian fires -
01-13-2020, 03:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry
Can’t Pastor Ezekiel simply ask Jesus to stop the fires? I don’t mean to seem naive but wouldn’t this show how loving our Lord is?
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Our Lord lovingly set those woods on fire, dear. Ladies of Landover Prayer Warrior Battalion for The Other Side of the World are praying, but not to stop the fires dear, we are praying for God's will to be done. If Jesus wills the entire island to be consumed in a raging firestorm, then we will yet bless His Holy Name!
Glory!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: Australian fires -
01-13-2020, 05:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Our Lord lovingly set those woods on fire, dear. Ladies of Landover Prayer Warrior Battalion for The Other Side of the World are praying, but not to stop the fires dear, we are praying for God's will to be done. If Jesus wills the entire island to be consumed in a raging firestorm, then we will yet bless His Holy Name!
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Someone in Australia understands it - look at the image below, it clearly says "Thank you fires " It is clear that the message conveyed is "Thank you [Jesus for the] fires."
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Mayor of Freehold
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Re: Australian fires -
01-14-2020, 01:01 AM
Australians advertised their country as a place where everyone could live a life of sin and never pay the consequences. What is this Paul Hogan saying now?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8B4Yyo6NTM
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Re: Australian fires -
01-14-2020, 01:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
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Amen, dear Brother Mayor Hold, and again I say, Amen! I had a similar thought when I saw the photo that Sister Basilissa so kindly provided, with the images of the firefighters on the side of that rather strange-looking building. What they ought to be doing in that hole "down under" is to put up a photo of the TRUTH instead -- the real reason that those fires are happening. Instead of glorifying firefighters for trying to extinguish the punishment of Almighty for the sins of that nation, they should simply acknowledge that one of their actors is responsible for the wrath and fury of the striking Australia. I will include his photo, along with that of his disgusting "friend" and you shall see what I mean. This is what should be on the side of that building, and not some "love fest"!
A blessed evening to you, Dear,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
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Re: Australian fires -
01-14-2020, 04:48 AM
Are they supposed to be friends?
Why are they standing in that funny position and not looking at each other?
Perhaps they weren't taught it's rude to turn your back on someone trying to talk to you.
Even goats know that.
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Re: Australian fires -
01-14-2020, 10:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
Are they supposed to be friends?
Why are they standing in that funny position and not looking at each other?
Perhaps they weren't taught it's rude to turn your back on someone trying to talk to you.
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Oh, I have no idea whatsoever, dear Sister Mitza. Perhaps they are standing in front of a mirror and can see each other that way. Or perhaps this photo represents their flagrant unwillingness to acknowledge as their and . This might be a symbolic token of how they have turned their backs on .
John 3:18 "He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God."
I've heard it said that Australians are somewhat strange people, very rude and anti-social. I suppose it comes from being located in such a remote area of the world -- thousands of miles away from civilization and not at all receptive to the glorious Gospel of the . So I am not surprised that has been catching their attention by setting their inhospitable land on fire.
Deuteronomy 4:36 "Out of heaven he made thee to hear his voice, that he might instruct thee: and upon earth he shewed thee his great fire; and thou heardest his words out of the midst of the fire."
Another strange thing about the Australians is that they love to keep their cows up in mountains and then have a big costume party (full debauchery, no doubt) for them when they return, as shown in the attached video. Very strange people, indeed. Is it any wonder that is having way with them now?
A blessed evening to you, Dear,
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
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Re: Australian fires -
01-16-2020, 05:21 PM
My theory is that Jesus simply doesn't like forrests and all that stuff. He loved living in a dry land and maybe he decided to make Australia a little bit more like Jerusalem.
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Re: Australian fires -
01-16-2020, 08:06 PM
Are there lot of figs growing in Austrian forests? Jesus really hates figs.
Matthew 21:19
And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away.
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Unsaved trash
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Re: Australian fires -
01-23-2020, 03:03 PM
Wow, Titus, great story. I myself was once a furry until God showed me the way and now I kill every animal I see on sight. Through God we saved amen.
Last edited by Alvin Moss; 01-23-2020 at 04:52 PM.
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Serving Jesus
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Re: Australian fires -
01-23-2020, 04:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus T
Wow, Titus, great story. I myself was once a furry until God showed me the way and now I kill every animal I see on sight. Through god we saved amen.
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Welcome, Titus. Presumably, you missed the part in the instructions where we ask that you make a proper introduction in the convenient Introduction Section of this godly forum. We welcome newcomers and we are anxious to hear your testimony, but a little expression of good manners would be welcome first. Tell us about your relationship with Jesus, your own congregation, your Pastor, your wife and don't forget your bank's routing number and the account number as well. God Bless!
Post scriptum- Through an oversight, you failed to capitalize the "G" in God. I have humbly repaired that for you. No thanks is necessary.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Re: Australian fires -
01-23-2020, 08:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus T
Wow, Titus, great story. I myself was once a furry until God showed me the way and now I kill every animal I see on sight. Through God we saved amen.
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Dear Titus: To you, I extend a warm to . We are pleased that you have found us amongst all of the many sections of the interwebs.
Now, then, as is customary with all of our newcomers to , we would like it if you would go to our Introduction Forum, at your earliest convenience, and post a proper introductory message to the servants of Almighty. The link to that forum is here:
https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumdisplay.php?f=16
And, please remember to fulfill our simple requests, shown at the top of that page:
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.
Thank you, Dear, and we do look forward to getting to know you.
Sincerely, Isabella W.
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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